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Thursday, November 30, 2006

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth

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"Time is an illusion, and lunchtime doubly so"
(Ford Prefect - "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams)

Image from British Council, hosting by PhotobucketZillions of years ago, scientists say that dinosaurs used to roam the Earth. And quite happily too, rumor has it. They would frolic in the friendly weather, going about on their dinosaur business.

Some were veggie-saurs, grazing on the grasslands, or eating shrubs and other vegetation abundant in those times. Others were meat eaters, hunting down other dinosaurs. Life was in a rather nice balance.

And one key factor sustaining these lumbering giants was what Walski calls "Natural Environmental Protection" - agreeable climate, not too hot, and not too cold. Kinda like the just right temperature porridge that got Goldilocks into a bind with the three bears. But that's another story.

Then one fine day, Mother Nature decided to revoke the Natural Environmental Protection that sustained the dinosaurs all those merry years. In fact, arguably, it not only sustained but defined the dinosaurs' existence. Scientists say it was some cataclysmic event or other. Some people say it was aliens. Others say it was brought about by global warming, caused by increased amounts of methane introduced into the atmosphere from dino flatulence.

Whatever it was, almost overnight, the Natural Environmental Protection that the dinosaurs enjoyed was no longer there. The global climate changed drastically, culminating in what we now know as the Ice Age.

Now, having enjoyed Natural Environmental Protection for far too long, the dinosaurs simply took the good life for granted. If they had been more mindful, they would have taken precautions against the effects of the impending Ice Age. Like, for instance, making sure their diet was more balanced (hence, less flatulence), or perhaps learning to dress more appropriately for the cold. The dinosaurs honestly thought the Natural Environmental Protection they enjoyed would be perpetual.

In any case, without the Natural Environmental Protection, and with, of course, the Ice Age, most of the dinosaurs just perished. Some eventually evolved into other climate-appropriate beasts. But most of the dinosaurs simply didn't survive.
(if by now you're going "WTF?", all is explained, in the full post)

Fast-forward a zillion years later... to today. Thursday.

Are some of us destined to be like the dinosaurs of so many millions of years ago, soon to perish with another impending Ice Age, brought about by the over-reliance on another kind of Natural Environmental Protection?

Or are we willing to evolve into another kind of beast, more flexible and resiliant to environmental changes? And in the process learn to not produce so much hot air.

History, it seems, has a bad habit of repeating itself. And once again, it's the dinosaurs that take things for granted that are the ones most at risk. The smarter ones will simply choose to evolve.

And survive.

Image from impawards.com, hosting by PhotobucketThe title of this post is taken from the 1970 film of the same name. It stars a whole bunch of unknowns. And most of these unknowns didn't exactly become household names afterwards either.

It is a follow up to the 1966 film "One Million Years BC" (starring a very young Raquel Welch). But apart from the excellent dinosaur sequences, "When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth" was a lame-ass bad film from all other perspectives.

And while the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has nothing whatsoever to do with dinosaurs, the book does contain some excellent quotes pertaining to Thursdays, time, life, the universe, and everything in between.

Had the dinosaurs read the series of excellent books by Douglas Adams, Walski has no doubt in his mind that there would probably be a whole load of 'em dinosaurs roaming the Earth today.

And apart from not coping with the weather, another factor leading to the demise of the dinosaurs was that they didn't develop a good reading habit. Instead, they substituted reading with watching film, or made-for-TV adaptations.

You tend to lose a lot in the translation.

Click here for the full post......

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Pope-a-palooza and the Turkey uprising

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Turkey definitions:

Webster's Online Dictionary: "A person who does something thoughtless or annoying"

The Devil's Dictionary: "A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating"

Walski: "A country caught between Europe and a hard place"

And it's also where the Pope plans to visit this Thursday. And some of the turkeys that live in Turkey aren't entirely thrilled (as reported by the BBC).

Image from the BBC, hosting by PhotobucketTurkeys flock to protest the Pope's coming visit

Three months after the offending speech, and a couple of apologies from the Pontiff, and these turkeys are still pissed off. CNN has been showing their report in their repetitive repetitive style. This is Pope Benedict XVI's first ever visit to a Muslim country. And so soon after Thanksgiving, too.

Turkey meat happens to be one of Walski's favorite foods. A versatile meat product, turkey can be a substitute for most other meats - and tastes just like chicken. In fact, a turkey could probably be classified as an overgrown chicken with attitude.

However, turkey lovers beware! The turkeys at Jakim have warned that imported turkeys purchased around Christmas this year, in Malaysia, will not be halal.

Image hosting by PhotobucketTurkeys after November 19 will not be Halal

Regardless of where they're imported from. Even if they're from Turkey, probably. And what about stocks that were imported before November 19, that were Halal imports - would they too magically become non-Halal? What a bunch of turkeys.

But then again, who needs imported turkeys when Malaysia's almost overrun with 'em. The recent UMNO General Assembly, and the turkeys at the Persatuan Pengguna Islam Malaysia (or PPIM, aka The Biscuit Police, or Cross Turkeys - take you pick), are proof enough for Walski.

And Persatuan Pengguna Islam Malaysia, literally translated into English is the Malaysian Islam Users Association - [insert your own druggie joke here] - but we'll save that for another post.
(more gobble gobble in the full post)

Image from www.airhog.com, hosting by PhotobucketBut back to Turkey. The nation is facing yet another obstacle in joining the EU - again as reported by the BBC - this time stemming from their ongoing feud with Cyprus. Cyprus, one island, two governments. And lots of turkeys. And of course, the protesting turkeys back in Turkey aren't helping Turkey's bid in joining the EU.

For Turkey, at this juncture, the EU remains a moving target. For the EU, Turkey looks like a sitting duck, having now another reason to slow down the ascencion discussions to a grinding halt. How fowl.

But really, why can't the Felicity Party - the political body responsible for organizing the anti-Pope rally - let bygones be Byzantium bygones? What more do they want Pope Benedict XVI to do?

"Speaking in the Vatican on Sunday, Benedict said he wanted the visit to show his "esteem and sincere friendship" for Turkey and its people.

A visit to Istanbul's famous Blue Mosque was added to the Pope's itinerary at the last minute, a move seen as an attempt at further reconciliation with the Muslim world.
"
(source: Reuters)

If it were up to Walski, he'd just politely ask these bunch of turkeys to get stuffed. Which is probably why Walski would make a lousy politician.

But of course, the Felicity Party doesn't speak on behalf of all Turk(ey)s. In fact, like PAS in Malaysia, they're but a miniscule voice in the Turkish political landscape. But as is often the case, it's always the minority that gobbles the loudest. And having CNN showing clips of their protest rally over, and over, and over, does give the impression that the entire population is against the visit.

Which is why Turkey is caught between Europe and a hard place.

And come Christmas and New Year, Malaysia too will be a very hard place - if you happen to like Halal turkey.

But why this year? Who knows.... Maybe it's a conspiracy to prohibit Christmas and New Year open houses, which may cause Muslims to be at risk of unity. It could happen. The Fatwa method didn't work. The SMS method was a dismal failure (especially for one poor turkey and her husband, who are now out on bail, incidentally). So, maybe makng turkeys non-Halal this festive season would be more effective.

This is, after all, Malaysia - where men are men, the muftis nervous, and where the turkeys are chicken. Stuffed, with attitude.

Click here for the full post......

Stavanger Sunday Walkabout

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Image hosting by PhotobucketBreiavatnet - from Walski's hotel room window

One thing Walski found out about Norway - everything just about shuts down on Sundays. Except for the 7-Elevens that you can find scattered around the city. Another thing Walski discovered is just how bloody expensive everything here in Norway is. Probably the most expensive city Walski's ever been to. Even Tokyo didn't seem this bad.

Stavanger, population 115,000 thereabouts, is Norway's fourth largest city, and is the Oil & Gas hub for the nation. One thing Walski noticed about this country is that a lot of buildings are built in harmony with the surrounding geology. The hotel we're staying at, for example, is built into a rocky hill, with a large boulder seen from below Walski's window. And there are lots of tunnels, with minimal cutting into the glacier sculpted landscape.

Two years from now, Stavanger will be European Capital of Culture 2008, an honor it will share with Liverpool. The selected city gets to showcase its culture, and retains the title for one year. Great program, don't you think?

In any case, walking about town on Sunday morning, Walski noticed that there is a lot of art all over the city. One interesting series of sculptures is called Broken Column.

Image hosting by PhotobucketOne of the Broken Column statues, beside Stavanger Cathedral

It consists of 23 identical 1.95m tall statues, each one installed at an altitude of exacly 1.95m lower than the next. The series of installations is the work of British artist Antony Gormley. These figures have been placed at various spots around the city, some indoors, some inside shops, and one even in a private home. The series of sculptures were commissioned between December 1999 and 2003 (more information here).

Now, that's imaginative public art. Something completely lacking back home in Malaysia, where giant fruits, pitcher plants, drums and what-not, adorn select roundabouts around the country, in their wonderfully tacky splendour.
(more Stavanger walkabout in the full post)

Incidentally, Walski stumbled across this blog, by a transplanted Indonesian by the name of Tanty. Lot's of nice photographs of Stavanger, and its surroundings, for you to look at.

The rain came on and off the whole Sunday. Apparently this wet weather had been around for the past two weeks. And rain in 12 degC weather is not very pleasant. Take Walski's word for it.

We saw some more street art around town, which was pretty much deserted. One that caught Walski's eye was this bit of grafitti, which adorns the parking lot just outside the Stavanger Petroleum Museum.

Image hosting by PhotobucketStreet art - something you don't see encouraged in Malaysia

Grafitti, if done properly, can be quite attractive. Another thing that Malaysia lacks - out of the box thinking when it comes to art works.

And sheep! Great bronze, heavy metal sheep!

Image hosting by Photobucket"Baa.. Baa.." the Heavy Metal sheep say...

That's one thing about European cities that make 'em interesting places to visit - art everywhere, in various styles, shapes and forms. It's no wonder artists from all over the world seem to end up at various places in the European continent. Artistic expression is encouraged, with less stiffling rules and conditions like what we find in Malaysia. Even the other Asian cities are starting to catch up.

And so the rest of the day was spent wandering around the city. Ducking under whatever shade we could find whenever the heavens decided to unleash its torrents...

More of the surroundings in a later post - Walski's got some studying to do. You know... training and all that...

Click here for the full post......

Saturday, November 25, 2006

In Norway, no one can hear Malaysia scream...

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Well, okay - not physically, anyway. In any case, greetings from Norway!

Yes folks, finally made it to Stavanger, Norway a few hours ago. It's not that cold (roughly about 12 degC or 54 degF), but very wet. Did Walski ever mention he loves cold weather?

Image hosting by PhotobucketRain, at 12 degC somehow feels wetter... 2pm local time!

One thing both Walski and the Mrs forgot to pack was umbrellas. And the forecast doesn't look too good either. Rain and more rain expected for the next few days.

This is Walski's first time in Norway, or for that matter, the Scandinavian region. Stavanger itself is a rather smallish town, but is Norway's Oil & Gas center. Perhaps, weather permitting, we might go venture out a little more. We were out for a bit while waiting for our hotel room to be ready, but the rain really put a damper on things.

People here are friendly, and more importantly, speak English. So communicating with the locals is no problem. Unlike France or Italy. But then again, that was about 6 years ago, and the language situation may have changed.

On the way into town from the airport, Walski noticed a couple of nice things. First, there are bicycle lanes all over the place. Secondly, drivers here are quite curteous, and actually stop at zebra crossings. Which is nice, if you're a padestrian.

So, what the heck is Walski doing here, you may ask? Well, Walski, in real life, works in the Instrumentation & Process Control industry as a consultant of sorts. Walski's in Stavanger to attend training on one of the new products that he will be involved with.

Yes, folks - Walski's an engineer.

Surprised?
(more in the full post)

Well, Walski didn't manage to get much shut-eye on the 18-hour journey here (KLM really crams their economy class passengers in like sardines), and the body is starting to feel a little weary... so, more on Stavanger later.

Another nice thing - the hotel has free broadband. And for a change, broadband actually feels broad... And so, while Walski can't actually hear Malaysia scream, he can sure as hell read about it.

Probably faster than reading about it at home, via Malaysia's not-so-broad broadband... Later!

Related post: Walski in transit...

Click here for the full post......

Walski in transit...

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... at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol, en route to Norway.

Image hosting by PhotobucketIn case you were wondering what Schiphol airport looks like

No, Walski's not hightailing it out of Malaysia for good, or anything drastic like that. Actually, Walski will be in Norway for the next week. The next few posts will be coming from much colder (and nicer) weather!

In the meantime, IOU on the reply to the comments you have left pertaining to the book review - Walski will get to that in due time (probably the next 16 - 24 hours or so).

Too bad there's no camera on this trip (there is a video cam, but it's a bit cumbersome) - but we'll try to post some travel images.

Click here for the full post......

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Book Review: Malaysia and the Club of Doom

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Image hosting by PhotobucketMalaysia And The Club of Doom (The Collapse of The Islamic Countries)
Author/Publisher: Syed Akbar Ali
ISBN: 9834261918
Paperback, 270 pages

If there is one word that could describe Syed Akbar Ali, it would be unconventional. And this is admitted to by the author himself. True to his unconventional self, therefore, "Malaysia And The Club of Doom (The Collapse of The Islamic Countries)" does not play to the gallery. The unrelenting honesty contained within makes this book a refreshing change from numerous other Islam-related books produced by Malaysian writers.

One year after his first book, "To Digress A Little", Syed Akbar explores further one of the numerous subjects he introduced in his debut. It is, without a doubt, an issue that most will find disturbing. In particular, if you're Muslim, and you abide by the mainstream "Islam" that is practiced in Malaysia.

And to most "mainstreamers", this book will most likely be offensive.

"Malaysia and The Club of Doom" essentially looks at how the fastest growing religion on planet Earth, "Islam", has been the key factor in the failure of the Muslim ummah and "Islam"-ic countries.

There is a reason why "Islam" has been put within quotes here. This book is not anti-Islam. Not by a long shot. Rather, it is an honest, no-holds-barred commentary on the religion that is being prostelyzed as Islam today.

The moniker Club of Doom itself refers to the failed Islamic countries, and those that are on the verge of failure.

Syed Akbar introduces, in the first chapter, the concept of the Failed State. He offers two different sets of criteria that characterize a failed state (p. 7 and p. 9), and throughout the book, numerous examples are given to support the premise that most of the Islamic countries around the world can be classified as such - failed states.

And here's the scary part - Malaysia, too, already has some of these characteristics exhibited by the failed states. The proverbial writing, as they say, is already clearly written on the wall. Written, in fact, with bright luminous paint - if only we bothered to look.

What exactly constitutes a failed state? Using one of the two sets of criteria (p. 7), Syed Akbar characterizes a failed state as one which exhibits the following attributes:

1. Restrictions on the free flow of information
2. The subjugation of women
3. Inability to accept responsibility for individual or collective failure
4. The extended family or clan as the basic unit of social organization
5. Domination by a restrictive religion
6. A low valuation of education
7. Low prestige assigned to work

Even a cursory look at the list tells us that several of these characteristics can already be observed in Malaysia. The possiblity of Malaysia becoming a failed state is all too real, and further explored in Chapter 3, Chapter 8, and in numerous other places throughout the rest of the book.

And it is with this realization that Syed Akbar explores how the Islamic countries the world over fit nicely into the unflattering category of failed state. While doing so, however, the author is quick to come back to Malaysia, pointing out areas where there are early (or even advanced) signs paralleling those found in Islamic countries such as Pakistan, the Arab states, and Somalia - which the author classifies as the ultimate "basket case" example of the failed state (pp. 206 - 207, and elsewhere).
(more of the book review, and Walski's thoughts, in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketThis book is not intended by the author to be an academic treatise. Rather, they are "a collection of [my] observations" (Introduction, p. vii). Having said that, Syed Akbar never fails to support his arguments with facts and examples - usually in the form of newspaper cuttings, or from the works of other, more academic, authors.

One such author referenced several times throughout the book, is Dr. Abdul Hamid A. Abu Sulayman, former Rector of the International Islamic University in Malaysia, whose book "Crisis in the Muslim Mind", provides a good historical background pertaining to the decline of the Muslim ummah, and is a recommended read by Syed Akbar.

So, what has led to the failure of Islamic countries, and making them members of The Club of Doom? There are quite a number, but this review will look at a couple.

Just about all the Islamic states mentioned in the book, at some point or another, were colonies of Western countries. Syed Akbar states that what was initially left behind by the colonialists were working civil systems and infrastructure, which over the years have been progressively dismantled, in favor of more “Islamic” systems.

Two cases are presented to support this assertion. One concerns India and Pakistan. Both nations were one country up until 1947 (chapter 2 and elsewhere). Another case concerns Malaysia and Singapore. In both cases, one country has Islam prominently in the public sphere, while the other has chosen a more secular path.

What the working systems get replaced with are usually more “Islamic” in flavor – but more detrimental is that the more “Islamic”-flavored systems are usually not well thought out, or inherently don’t work in the first place. We’ve seen this happening in Malaysia over the years as well. Pakistan has, in fact, already failed (Chapter 3). And when the systems don't work, society starts to break down in tandem.

Related to this is the desire to reinvent things in a more “Islamic” way, giving rise to things like Islamic economics, Islamic social sciences, Islamic political systems, etc. Syed Akbar calls this trying “to reinvent the wheel and call it the Islamic wheel” (p. 116). But in the process, these modified systems (that were functional originally) become more cumbersome, and in fact, instead of making life easier, complicates life even more. All done in the name of “Islam”.

Another failure factor stated is the role of the “scholars of Islam”. Syed Akbar states that what we have today is not the Islam as revealed in the Quran, but what he calls the “Religion of Ijma” (p. 189).

Ijma or consensus is a very big word among the scholars. In fact the entire corpus of beliefs upheld by the religious scholars is a result of ijma or consensus

And for the most part, Muslims are told that the ijma is “written in stone” and cannot be challenged. But the truth is that even within the community of scholars there is, and has been, great disagreement over which ijma are to be upheld, who is authorized to make ijma, etc. (p. 190).

The end result is the disarray of the overall Muslim ummah, and the numerous flavors of “Islam” we see in the world today.

Which brings us to what Syed Akbar postulates is the primary reason, or root cause, of the Muslims' failure. Muslims have pretty much abandoned the Quran as their true source of guidance, and have instead embraced the numerous flavors of dogmatic beliefs passed on from one generation to the next.

Without giving too much away, in a nutshell, the book makes the case that the majority of Muslims, in abandoning the Quran, have, in fact, abandoned the true teachings of Islam.

The basis of this argument rests, besides numerous examples and observations in the book, on two verses from the Quran:

Surah 48 (Al-Fath - Victory) Verse 28: He it is Who sent His Apostle with the guidance and the true way of life (deen) that He may make it prevail over all other ways; and Allah is enough for a witness.
Surah 25 (Al-Furqan - The Criterion) Verse 30: The Messenger will say "My Lord, surely my people have taken the Quran for a joke'

Walski's note: The translation used above have been taken directly from Syed Akbar's book, and not the standard English translation myAsylum usually utilizes (the Yusuf Ali translation). The gist of the translation, however, remains the same.

Syed Akbar notes that

What they follow today are the opinions of the so called scholars, religious leaders and others - many of whom have led them astray. That is why we find the Muslims bungling from one decade to another decade, one century to another century. (p. 80)

And perhaps it is this indictment which will most likely offend most Islam "mainstreamers". But Syed Akbar's intention is not to offend. Rather, it is an attempt to make Muslims open their eyes to the reality of their existence, and why they are in such a sorry state today. He also admits that this will not be an easy task.

The indictments made in the book are not without merit, however, and the assertion that what most Muslims consider as "Islam" has deviated from the Quranic Islam, is not new. But most "mainstreamers" will immediately label such assertions as heretical, upholding instead interpretations of scripture from over a millenium ago, through the opinions of the countless scholars of old and present, as "Islam".

As an example of the abandonment of the Quran by the Muslims, Syed Akbar devotes Chapter 11 to pointing out that many of the so-called Islamic Laws upheld by today's Muslims, are actually not found anywhere in the Quran, but have instead been imported into the faith from external sources. What will likely be a surprise to readers of this book is that many of these are actually from the Christian Bible, primarily the Old Testament. For example (p. 217):

The Quran does tell women to cover their bosoms and to pull their outer garments over them but there is no clear mention in the Quran that women must cover their hair or their head.

Syed Akbar proceeds to point out

But in the Bible there is a clear statement that women should cover their hair and their heads, especially during prayer. Here is the reference:

1 Corinthians
11:5 - 6 "And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head - it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head."

Chapter 11 (entitled: Falsely Accusing The Quran: A Clash of Fools) is presented in the context that the West needs to realize many of the supposed demands of Islam are actually not found in the Quran. Therefore, the labelling of what we are seeing today as a "Clash of Civilizations" is totally misplaced. The fault, Syed Akbar asserts, lies instead with the religion Muslims regard as Islam (p. 215).

But what is being practiced today by the various sects and shades of religion is actually a hodge podge of theologies and different interpretations by people who think they are 'scholars of Islam'. Often these are the real trouble causers in the world.

Many other examples are presented in this chapter. These include the punishment of adulterers by stoning (found in Deutronomy 22:20 -24), and adopting an Islamic dress code, i.e. beards, turbans, and robes - not mentioned anywhere in the Quran as a dress code, but can be found in the Bible as "the accountrements or dress code of the priests" ( p. 222).

How these have crept into what is labelled as "Islam" today is not discussed at length, as it is not within the intended scope of the book, although the author does give some hints.

Syed Akbar maintains that there is a solution to the problems plaguing the Muslims today - return to the true teachings of the Quran. He does not elaborate much, except to give some clues. And his reason for not presenting the solution(s) more explicitly is because "there is no real freedom of speech in Malaysia, especially about Islam" (p. 120). If the environment were more conducive, he would be more than willing to step forward to suggest some real solutions. (He has, in the past, run afoul with the religious authorities over what he's had to say, and does not want a repeat)

Walski must admit that this review provides only a small glimpse into the pitfalls facing the Muslims and Islamic countries. The complexities of the real problems facing Muslims today are compounded by the fact that what we have today is the result of several hundred years of progressive failure. And the real solution is not to throw more religion into the mix, contrary to what certain parties aim to do.

If you have not yet read Syed Akbar's first book, his writing style may be a bit of a turn-off at times. And the book could have benefited from tighter editing.

Nevertheless, Walski's verdict is that "Malaysia And The Club of Doom (The Collapse of The Islamic Countries)" is a must-read for all Malaysians, Muslims and non-Muslims alike. And if you only manage to read one book this entire year (Malaysians having such a poor penchant for reading), it probably should be this book.

The reason?

Herein lies what Walski feels is the gist of Syed Akbar's book - in pointng how and why Muslims are in the sad state they are in today, this book is actually a warning to Malaysians, particularly the Muslims. There are clear signs that Malaysia, too, is on the path towards failure, albeit not as advanced as some of the other countries mentioned in the book. The one aspect of Malaysia that has helped make it an exemplary nation among the Islamic countries is its diversity of cultures and faiths - which today is clearly at risk.

It is through the contributions of all Malaysians that we are where we are today - in fact, as Syed Akbar points out, more so, perhaps, due to the contributions of the non-Muslims/Malays.

But Malaysia's continued prosperity is at risk, not because there is not enough religion, but because there is too much of it in the public sphere. Already, we are seeing religion being the basis of communal hatred and animosity, which fortunately, is not yet widespread. And the real danger is that apparently the majority of Muslims in this country misguidedly want more religion in the public sphere. More, they want an "Islam"-ic state.

Perhaps it's appropriate that Walski closes this review with the following quote, attributed to Albert Einstein:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

The failure of the Islamic states the world over can be clearly seen. The reasons, too, are clear, as pointed out by Syed Akbar in his book. If the Muslims in this country can get over their deep seated denial (chapter 5), and accept that the root cause of their failure is their religion (not Islam), perhaps there is some hope yet.

Otherwise, we will surely succumb to the insanity of knowingly repeating the mistakes of others, and Malaysia, too, may one day become a full-fledged member of the dubious Club of Doom.

Click here for the full post......

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

In Memoriam: Robert Altman (1925 - 2006)

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Image capture from NBC News, hosting by PhotobucketOne of the film industry's great directors, Robert Altman, passed away on Monday, November 20, 2006. It is reported that he died of complications from cancer (as reported by CNN). He was 81.
(click on image to play MSN/NBC video report)

Born Robert Bernard Altman, he will perhaps be best remembered for his 1970 anti-war film, M*A*S*H. Altman was known to be a Hollywood maverick, bucking the movie establishment throughout his illustrious career. Although nominated five times for the Academy Award's Best Director, he never actually won it. Many have speculated that his outspokenness, and unwillingness to "play along" were reasons behind this. However, earlier this year, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences awarded Altman an Academy Honorary Award for Lifetime Achievement, for his career in film, which spanned some 50 years.

Other notable films by Altman include Nashville (1975), the live-action adaptation of Popeye (1980, which starred Robin Williams and Shelley Duvall), The Player (1992), and more recently Gosford Park (2001), which was nominated for seven Academy Awards in 2002, and for which, Altman won the American Film Institue's Director of the Year award the same year.

His last film, A Prairie Home Companion (released this year) won Altman an award from the Reader Jury of the "Berliner Morgenpost", at the 2006 Berlin Film Festival earlier this year.

The contributions this man has made to the motion picture industry are countless, much more than this post does justice. Robert Altman shall be remembered as one of the great directors in the history of filmmaking. Indeed the industry shall mourn its latest loss for quite a while to come.

Notable news agencies that have reported on Robert Altman's passing include: BBC, CNN, MSNBC, and The Star. (Google News and Yahoo! News searches reveal countless many more)

Sources: IMDb, MSN/NBC, CNN, Wikipedia

Click here for the full post......

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Captured: SMS Woman of Mystery

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Late breaking news, via The Star online:

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe SMS Woman of Mystery captured by the police

The question on many people's mind now is: will FatwaMan get off scott free? A teensy-weensy over eager was he to become whistle-blower, if you ask Walski.

Esteemed bloggerhood critic KTemoc has been following this case quite closely. Meanwhile, Alphabet Soup, who's also reported on this bit of news, has his own questions that remain unanswered.

The police (in the news report) consider this case now solved. But it seems that there are more questions that remaiin. Like, who acted (based on SMS rumors) to organize the mob that came down on the supposed baptism, and why aren't they being prosecuted as well. And who knows what other questions, once SMS-Woman makes here statement...

The gravy plot thickens...

Click here for the full post......

Obscuring the painful truth...

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It's truly and amazingly mind-boggling the length some party leaders go to remain in denial. Loyalty to party must never be in question, no matter how irrelevant, rotten and stupid the mindset of the party members has become.

Reminds Walski of the old Malay saying, which translates to "because of one mosquito, the mosquito net is burned".

Image hosting by PhotobucketObscuring the truth, not improvement, is the answer

Yes, the open access via live Astro telecast has opened the public's eyes - the world's eyes, in fact - to how low-brow the mindset of UMNO politicians can be, some of their leadership included. Anyone with the slightest bit of sentient intelligence would have realized that a live-broadcast would open up the party to criticism, particularly when racial hatred and blatant displays of xenophobia have almost become staple rhetoric at these annual them-bashing galas.

One would have thought that the televised GA would've been a golden opportunity for UMNO to show how grown up they've become, and how they are evolving to meet the real challenges facing the nation. Sadly, as witnessed by all last week, the reality of UMNO is that they remain mired in an antiquated rut.

And instead of a call for more constructive debate in the future (the intelligent sentient thing to do), we are now hearing calls for a stop to live broadcasts. Instead of curing the proverbial foul-smelling ulceration (pekung) on the chest, we're now hearing calls to simply hide the stench and blemish.

And what message does this send?
(more anti-xenophobic rantage in the full post)

Don't know about you, but to Walski the message he gets is that there's nothing wrong with the stupidity that UMNO, as is, exhibits. What's more important is that no one else gets to see the level of stupidity that UMNO, as is, exhibits.

The repercussions of the incindiary racist, testosterone-heavy chest-beating at the recent General Assembly is all too real. Almost immediately, reconcilliatory messaging could be heard from the UMNO ministers. Of course, the more-than-compliant other BN-component member ministers chipped in to the chorus of reconcilliation.

But sometimes, reconcilliation comes too little, too late. The damage has already been done, and the damage will last much longer than the lingering smell of durians left in the car trunk.

Listening to some of the delegates speak last week reminded Walski of the film Mars Attacks! The part when the Martians go on a rampaging killing spree, shooting their ray-guns and obliterating any humans in their path, while calling out "We come in peace, we are your friends".

Image hosting by PhotobucketSometimes it's better to be on the giving end...

Ack! Ack! Aaack! Ack! Ack! Ack ACK ACK ACK!!!

All this, and claiming that the Malaysian media is freer than ever before? And it may just be that freedom on the information front may yet see tighter grips on it in the very near future (check out this post at Rocky's Bru).

Ack ack, indeed.

Click here for the full post......

Monday, November 20, 2006

In Memoriam: Tan Sri Mohd Khir Johari (1923 - 2006)

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Al-Fatihah...

"I want to contribute to national unity. The national unity in the true sense of the word. Ask me to do any job which will contribute towards that and I will do it without any question" (source: Bernama)

Image hosting by PhotobucketKhir Johari while the Permenant Representative to the United Nations (1975 - 1976)

Yesterday, Malaysia lost a great statesman. Perhaps one of its greatest. And the quote above, chosen to open a Bernama report perhaps states best the nature of this great man, a true statesman and humanitarian. Perhaps more poignant today because that's what is sorely lacking in today's Malaysia. Especially having witnessed the UMNO General Assembly this past week.

And as esteemed blogger The Malaysian states in the comments section of his post, it is the young Khir Joharis that are needed in politics today, particularly in UMNO.

His accomplishments are many, both in Government and also outside of it. More notably, he was also President Emeritus of the World Wildlife Federation (WWF) Malaysia, and in December 2004 received an award celebrating his lifetime contribution towards conservation of nature and environmental protection. To many, Pak Khir will also be remembered for his tenacity in advancing sports in Malaysia.

Pak Khir was given a state burial today in Kuala Lumpur.

myAsylum extends our sincere and heartfelt condolence to the family of this great man. His contributions towards nationhood will forever be an important part of our nation's history.

Related posts from other bloggers:
- Jeff Ooi's
Screenshots
-
KTemoc Konsiders
-
Rocky's Bru
-
TV Smith
- and
countless others.

Click here for the full post......

Sunday, November 19, 2006

reacTable*: Is this the future of music generation?

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Hat-tip to: Kill Ugly Radio (which incidentally is an uber cool Frank Zappa-related site!).

This has to be the coolest music generation device Walski has seen in a long while. It's called the reacTable* - a "state-of-the-art multi-user electro-acoustic music instrument with a tabletop tangible user interface", developed by the Music Technology Group at Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, Spain.

And what better way to describe how it works and what it does other than seeing it in action...

Basic Demo #1


(Basic Demo #2, and more, in the full post)

Basic Demo #2

YouTube has a few more videos on this fantastic device. According to the developers, there are a few collaborative models possible with the reacTable (source: here and here). The device itself is based on a transluscent round table, connected to visual sensors and visual user feedback using a projection system. Up to four players can use the reacTable* at one time, for no other reason than ergonomics (it's a 1m-diameter table). Other collaborative models described are connected acoustic instruments, as well as remote collaboration via a computer interface.

Although still rather prototype-like in construction, Walski can see a whole lot of possiblities associated with this device. Needless to say, development on the reacTable* is still ongoing. This is the sort of scientific development that Malaysia should be pursuing, as opposed to playing kids games and making teh tarik in space...

It is Walski's guess that this is truly the future of music generation!

Click here for the full post......

Puteri & Wanita UMNO: The NEW Mothers of Prevention?

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Image from Wikipedia, hosting by PhotobucketBackground (from Wikipedia): Sometime in the mid-80's, wives of prominent United States politicians, led by Tipper Gore (aka Mrs Al Gore), set up what was called the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC), whose moral high-horse mission (among others) was to force record labels to put warning stickers on any music which contained explicit lyrics, or adult subject matter. The PMRC's campaign later escalated into a formal Senate hearing, during which Frank Zappa, along with Dee Snyder (of Twisted Sister), and John Denver (yes, that John Denver), testified at the hearing. The PMRC evoked all kinds of anti-Tipper sentiments, expressed in music, by musicians who saw the PMRC as a threat to free speech and freedom of expression.

The PMRC, to an extent, prevailed. At least in the area of having the record labels voluntarily placing warning stickers on music containing explicit language (now you know the history behind these stickers). The real backlash came later on when prominent department stores (such as Wal-Mart, J.C. Penny, and Sears) due to pressure from the ultra right-wing Christian lobby groups,

Voice recording excerpts of the hearing were later used by Zappa, and turned into a track called "Porn Wars", which became part of the US release of "Frank Zappa Meets The Mothers Of Prevention", the Mothers of Prevention of course referring to the PMRC.

Walski has come to the conclusion that the UMNO General Assembly is a little bit like watching Animal Planet, National Geographic or Discovery - the latter two when the focus is on the animal kingdom.

While a previous post focused primarily on the display of male testosterone overload, this one looks at how the female side of the animal kingdom wants to prove that it too has balls.

Two news articles come to mind, one from the NST and the other from Bernama (Hat-tips to The Malaysian and Rocky's Bru).

Image hosting by PhotobucketLike with photography, Puteri UMNO is allergic to overexposure

It's bad enough that we have to contend with conservative Islamist wanting to make Malaysia a restrictive living hell. Now we have the new Mothers of Prevention to deal with. It is interesting, however, to look at some of the things Datuk Noraini Ahmad had to say in the NST article (emphasis by myAsylum).

"Lately, there have been Malay films that are becoming more daring by exposing more and more.

"Producers are fond of featuring Malay women in the kemban (sarong wrapped up to the chest)."

She said such scenes
did not reflect eastern values.

Which makes Walski wonder - which part of the western world does have the women folk in sarong wrapped up to the chest? Another juicy quote from the same article:

Noraini also criticised "an English tabloid" for an article published on Nov 4 entitled Let’s Talk About Sex which she said openly discussed sexual behaviour.

This, of course, alludes to the well-known fact that humans (particularly of the UMNO animal kingdom) breed through bud-grafting, and not through sexual intercourse. Either that, or there must be some truth about the bangaus (storks) being responsible for baby delivery.

Which probably explains why some of the fiery rhetoric and incindiary remarks made at the assembly were so bird-brained.
(more Mothers of Prevention in the full post)

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketMilitant Makciks - the NEW Mothers of Prevention (source: IHT)

The target of restrictive actions called for by Puteri and Wanita UMNO the New Mothers of Prevention were far reaching, including foreign Bahasa Malaysia dubbed soap operas, the popular cartoon Crayon Shin-chan and even how some minister's wife's dressing. From the Bernama report, quoting Wanita UMNO delegate Rahimah Idris (emphasis by myAsylum):

She also called on Abdullah to take stern actions against Cabinet wives who wear sexy clothes in public.

"We, as women, feel very embarrassed. We teach our children to dress decently, to wear the scarf, but the action or one minister's wife puts us to shame," she said.

She claimed that the minister's wife, whom she did not name, was not even decently dressed at her former husband's burial recently.

Poor Datin Tiara... yes, the New Mothers of Prevention do get bitchy, don't they? It's tough being a minister's wife when you're attractive. Perhaps the New Mothers of Prevention should focus on how to improve their own self-image (internal and external), rather than to publicly shame other better-looking females just because they "put us to shame". But wait... isn't that the job of the Fashion/Culture/Museum Police, rather than the PM? Maybe the New Mothers of Prevention should look at how to improve their own grooming (and attractiveness) rather than bitching about how other people look to them.

Funny enough, however, sexual innuendos within the General Assembly itself were somehow more than tolerated (as very shrewdly pointed out by buddy Howsy).

And of course, to "safeguard" our morals, the path usually taken is ban, restrict and police. In the process, making Malaysia the wonderful hell-hole that the country will probably end up becoming, due to the ongoing War on Everything being waged between UMNO and PAS, in their quest to gain Malay mindshare and votes.

Make no mistake about it, folks - at the end of the day, after all the dust and hot air have settled, it's all about politics, politics and nothing but politics. The New Mothers of Prevention, through their display of testosterone-induced bravado, and nay-saying, are positioning themselves to ensure that more restrictions on society are what we can all be looking forward to. Peppered, of course, with the required rhetorical hatred and spite for others, that no General Assembly can do without.

But because this year's UMNO General Assembly has gotten an unprecedented amount of coverage (including live telecast on ASTRO), the incindiary remarks, thuggish racial threats and plain stupid bird-brained behavior will not be so easily forgotten. Already, the Animal Kingdom antics of the Assembly have been picked up by foreign news services and given worldwide coverage, raising (deserved) concern in the process. Hate politics aren't exactly the best attractors of Foreign Direct Investment.

And for the thinking Malaysian voters like Walski - not so easily forgiven, either.

The late Frank Zappa, had he been alive and in Malaysia the past week, would have really had a field day...

Click here for the full post......

Saturday, November 18, 2006

ReviewMe - a novel new approach to online marketing

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Some might think Walski sold out to blatant commercialism. But then again, Walski never ever said he doesn't like money, now did he?

How'd you like earning some $$ while doing what you like doing, i.e. writing. More specifically, blogging. Hat-tip to kukujiao.com, who pointed Walski to a new service called ReviewMe.

Image hosting by Photobucket(To become a reviewer, click on the logo image above)

Contextual advertising, like Adsense, which myAsylum uses, has its downside, and worldwide trends have reported a decline in click-thru rates - which means that less and less people are getting to the businesses advertising via contextual ad methods. The reason is probably what's known as banner blindness, where we tend to ignore ads on blogs and websites. Plus, because it's based on the context of what your site or post contains, there is always the possibility that the ads chosen may not be the best fit for your readers.

ReviewMe has chosen a quite different approach. Firstly, the advertising method is more subtle - it's done through sponsored blog reviews, written by bloggers, for products or services chosen by the review writers themselves. Yup, you get to pick whom or what you'd like to review. And get paid for it. Everybody can use that little extra moolah, right?

And in case you didn't already realize it, what you're reading now is in itself a paid review.
(more on ReviewMe, and how to sign up, in the full post)

The novel approach taken by seems to have paid off. In just over a week since its official launch (on November 9, 2006), the take-up success of this new service has totally gone beyond expectations. As of the time of this posting, a cursory check at Technorati.com shows that over 1,500 blogs are buzzing about this service.

Signing up is easy. First of all, register as a user at ReviewMe. This involves filling out some contact details about yourself, and more importantly how you'd like to get paid (a choice between PayPal or by check).

Next, submit your blog, or blogs, if you have more than one. Each registered user is allowed up to six blogs. In addition to your blog URL, you're also required to provide an RSS feed address. This is to verify that you've actually done a review, before a payout is made. There is some calculation that assigns a pay-out value for your blog, which according to blogger Timothy Tiah, is most likely based on rankings (from Technorati, Alexa, etc.), on how many RSS subscribers you have, and on what sort of traffic your site generates. Values assigned are between USD 20 TO 200.

And finally, your first assignment - to write a review on the ReviewMe service within 48 hours of signing up. That's about all there is to it. And since in the next 48 hours there is a very high chance that you're going to post an entry (or seven) to your blog, might as well make one of them paid, right?

Offhand, Walski doesn't know whom the advertisers they have on board are yet, and their blog has indicated that their focus now is on signing up a critical mass of reviewers before more aggressively pursuing advertisers.

But, if it takes off, this may just be the next big thing in targetted online advertising...

Click here for the full post......

Friday, November 17, 2006

The Great Gatsby

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Image hosting by PhotobucketHot air. Threatening innuendos. Bitchiness.

Three characteristics that almost quantify the atmosphere surrounding any UMNO General Assembly Meeting. And the 2006 meeting, which ends today, ended on a very bitchy note.

One characteristic of UMNO has been the unquestioning loyalty to whomever is heading the organization. The latest bout of bitchiness has been the reaction to comments supposedly made by Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir. As reported by The Star, the UMNO leadership has strongly criticized Mukhriz for "allegedly scoffing the policy speech of Umno president Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi and saying that it contained no new ideas".

Definitely not something which fits into the "Kami Sokong" mentality that has become synonymous with the party.

Adding to the fray is none other than Umno Putera chief Datuk Abdul Azeez "Rempit Wannabe" Abdul Rahim who went as far as to say that Mukhriz was, in fact, the source of the rift between the Prime Minister and Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad (from the same article in The Star).

He clapped his hands when he was listening to Pak Lah’s speech but gave a twisted statement when he came out."

Quintessential Malay characteristic of being a busy body, no less. And observant, too. Other leaders have put in their two-bits worth of hot air as well. So seriously is everyone treating this, that the UMNO Youth State Chiefs have called an emergency meeting to discuss the purported insult.

But what caught Walski's attention more than anything else were the fervent arm-flailing that usually accompanies these General Assemblies. It reminded Walski of the really God-awful series of TV commercials from the Gatsby range of personal cosmetic and hygiene products.
(Gatsby, The Great Gatsby, and why, in the full post)

To put things into perspective, Walski is referring to these two videos (not the exact Malaysian version, but close enough):

You're probably wondering what all that has to do with the UMNO General Assembly, right? Unfortunately, they only had budget for one keris to share...

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketGATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY!

The arm flailing exercise goes all the way to the top. Same hand-jive action from the Number Two, no less. Minus the keris, however.

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketGATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY!

The arm flailing will never be complete, though, without the participation of the Numero Uno himself.

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketGATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY! GATSBY!

Walski does hope that these folks actually had a sufficient supply of Gatsby, though. All day in those baju Melayu can get a tad bit warm. Phew!! What a symphony of odors otherwise.

Now, kidding aside, for those of you who have actually read "The Great Gatsby", by early 20th century American author F. Scott Fitzgerald, you would know that the book revolves around "the results of the Jazz Age generation's adherence to false material values".

Whatever wisdom and values (if you can even call it that) that have emanated from the 57th General Assembly are certainly ones that have been articulated before. In other words, Mukhriz is right - there's nothing new. And in the process, the fiery rhetoric from UMNO Youth has ruffled some feathers within the other non-Malay components of Barisan Nasional.

Of course, most people aren't alarmed, as this sort of fire and brimstone occurs year in, year out. But it has gotten the attention of the foriegn press, more notably the IHT and al-Jazeera. And what they had to say is not very concerting (see Rocky's Bru for more).

And from what Walski has heard, the Malay Agenda continues to be what UMNO say they fight for. 30 years following a policy that obviously has many shortcomings isn't enough, they say. It needs to continue. Which is no wonder why some have called NEP the "Never Ending Policy".

From the recent hoo-ha about how much equity exactly do the Malays own, it must be said that the policy must have had some beneficiaries. But whom within the Malay community that has benefited most remains the multi-billion dollar ringgit question. Definitely not the common Malays, for the most part. At the very least, not in the 30% kind of way.

UMNO has vowed that they shall remain the protectors of the Malays. The question is, who's going to protect the Malays (indeed, the rest of the nation) from UMNO?

Click here for the full post......

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ali Baba and the Seven Dwarfs

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Image hosting by Photobucket
nce upon a time, in a tropical paradise called Ehsailand, there lived a man by the name of Ali Baba. Now, Mr. Baba, by Ehsailand standards, was what you would probably call Upper Middle Class by today's economic measurements. Definitely better off than his youngest brother Sai Baba, who lived pretty much hand-to-mouth, working in Ali's rice mill, as he's always done for years. But not when he compared himself to his other younger brother, Toukeh Baba, renowned merchant of Ehsailand, with almost unlimited wealth - at least in Ali's eyes.

Needless to say, Ali Baba was extremely envious of Toukeh Baba's success and wealth.

Image from chrisbeetles.com, hosting by PhotobucketSerene view somewhere in Ehsailand
(click picture for image source)

You see, Ali was the firstborn in the Baba family, but sadly his mother died when he was still young. Daddy remarried, to Ali's stepmother, who already had Toukeh and Sai when she became the second Mrs. Baba.

Because of that, Ali was always the favorite child and got whatever he wanted from Daddy Baba. Toukeh and Sai, on the other hand, had a tougher time getting affection from their stepfather, and from a young age, had to start working in Daddy Baba's rice mill.

Sai worked hard in the rice mill, and did whatever Daddy Baba instructed him to do. Toukeh, too, worked hard at the mill, but instead of carrying out instructions word-for-word, he constantly thought of how the rice mill could make more profits. Then one day, he came up with the ingenious idea of using some of the polished rice to make other, more profitable things to sell. First it was rice cakes, then rice wine, and he even found ways to make use of the rice husks, turning them into chicken feed, which he then sold for a handsome price to nearby chicken farms.

When Daddy Baba discovered Toukeh's innovative ventures, he was so pleased that he relieved Toukeh fully of his rice mill duties to concentrate on the by-products business. Daddy, of course, took most of the profits from his elder stepson's endeavors. This was fine with Toukeh because for once, he finally won a little of his stepfather's affection.

Meanwhile, Ali was given the best education Daddy Baba's money could buy, in hopes that one day he would be able to run the rice mill. Despite the success of Toukeh's ventures, the rice milling business was still considered the family's core business by Daddy.

All was well in the Baba family until the day Daddy died. On his deathbed, Daddy Baba called his for his three sons. As expected, Ali Baba got ownership of the mill. But before Daddy Baba could convey what the other two brothers would get, the patriach breathed his last breath.

Ali immediately took charge, and claimed 70% his late father's liquid assets for his own. He left what remained to Toukeh and Sai. Neither of the two stepbrothers objected. Toukeh, of course, had his own business now, and wasn't really bothered. Sai, ever the obedient son, just took what he was given, and decided to continue working in the mill as he always had.

The years flew by fast. A decade later, Ali was still running the mill, and although profitable, the business suffered during the rice market crash a few years previously. For the most part, however, Ali still lived a comfortable life, partly from his inheritance, and partly from the rental he got from the mill operator. You see, Ali never was one to do anything someone else could be paid to do.

Sai squandered most of his inheritance on wine, women and song, and so continued working in the mill as he always had been. But Toukeh was the best off. The rice market crash was most great for him, as it made his raw materials much cheaper than before, making his diversified processed rice and mill by-product business very profitable. His wealth enabled him to diversify into other business, making him a renowned merchant in all of Esailand.

Discontent with his lot in life (compared to his brother, Toukeh), Ali spent a lot of energy and brain cells scheming and plotting - how to get some of that Toukeh booty. Ali couldn't care less about Sai, but was more concerned about how best to be rich like Toukeh Baba, with as little real effort and hard work as possible. Ali, of course, was too used to living the good life, not really having had to work all that hard to be where he was. First-born privilege, you might say.
(the dream, the dwarfs and the point of all this, in the full post)

One day, while taking an afternoon nap, Ali had a strange dream. In the dream, a Jenglot appeared and instructed him to go to an undisclosed spot, somewhere in Ehsailand, and there he would find a huge rock. The Jenglot told Ali to find the rock, and then, to utter the magic words "Zam.. Zam.. Asam Garam... Gurindam... Arti Um". And if Ali did this, the Jenglot promised that his Toukeh problems would go away.

And so for the next several months, Ali Baba despatched a huge team of private investigators (this is a fable, okay?) to scour Ehsailand for the location of this mysterious rock. Each week Ali would request the private investigators to their progress, via SMS. Week after week, the same short message reply would appear... "Nothing so far". This went on for about six months - and even in Ehsailand, in the once-upon-a-time days, private investigation services didn't come cheap. The mobile bills alone were stagerring, equalling the small fortune made by the Akademi Fantasia organizers. SMS's don't come cheap either, especially when you don't keep track of how many you send.

Then one day, the message he had been waiting for came through. "The rock has been found!" Ali was ecstatic with joy. Finally, he thought, he would be able to be as rich as his brother Toukeh Baba. Without delay Ali Baba got into his one-horse Proton carriage and travelled to the location of this mysterious rock. And after a two-week journey, there he was, standing in front of this gigantic rock, which was covered, almost in it's entirety with foliage - except for one spot.

And so he uttered the magic words taught to him by the Jenglot in his dream, "Zam.. Zam.. Asam Garam... Gurindam... Arti Um".

Silence.

Ali Baba was about to repeat the magic phrase, when he felt the earth tremble. The bald spot on the gigantic rock suddenly crumbled to reveal what looked like an opening to a cave. Ali Baba, in his excitement, started to walk towards the newly opened fisure. But before he could tread 30 steps, out jumped seven diminutive man-lings... dwarfs!

Image from bbc.co.uk, hosting by PhotobucketThe dwarfs, as captured by one of the private investigators
(click for image source)

"Freedom at last! Just as the great Jenglot had promised! What, kind sir, can we do for you!" the dwarfs cried out in unison.

"Who the fuck are you midgets?" screamed Ali Baba, not quite gotten over his initial fright of seeing these diminutive figures suddenly appear out of the rock. The small army of private investigators, eager to benefit from Ali's potential fortune, stood nearby, equally stunned by what they'd just witnessed.

"Oh, pardon our exuberance, kind sir", they proclaimed. Then one by one, the dwarfs introduced themselves:

"Slami"

"Nepi"

"Kroni", "Skohmi", "Rehsi", "Geridi", they cried out, one after another.

And finally, "Doc".

"Not midgets, sir. We are the seven dwarfs of antiquity, and your beckoning is our command!" they cried, once again, in commercial boy-band, not-quite harmonic unison.

Without delay, Ali Baba went on to relate what he wanted of the seven dwarfs, on how he desperately wanted to grab some of the wealth his brother Toukeh Baba had, at any cost, so that Ali, too, could be as rich.

The small army of investigators were just about to cheer, "Hidup Ali Baba", when they were interrupted by the dwarfs.

"No problemo!" screamed the dwarfs. And before Ali Baba could continue, the dwarfs suddenly scattered 45 paces in seven different directions, then stopped. Then, they ran back towards each other, to the very spot where they were earlier congregated.

A fiery white flash erupted as the seven dwarfs collided! KA-BOOOOOM!! The sound was thunderous, and the impact of the dwarfs running into each other created a small dustcloud.

Ali Baba, once again was in shock, having witnessed the strange collision in front of his very eyes - still trying to absorb in disbelief what his 20-20 vision had just revealed to him. As the dust settled, Ali discovered that no longer were there seven tiny dwarfs, but one gargantuan ogrish looking thing.

"BEHOLD!" the gigantic 18.9m tall ogre boomed, "We, the dwarfs of antiquity, by the power of Jenglot, are now Chaos, of future, past, present tense! Your wish is granted!"

And in a flash, the ogrish thing called Chaos disappeared into the sunset, each 45m pace taking mere miliseconds to traverse.

The two-week journey back home was perhaps the happiest in Ali Baba's life, every moment of it imagining the riches that were probably awaiting his return. And the wonderful life he could buy with his new fortune. No longer would he have to waste his energy on plotting and scheming against his wealthier brother. And not surprisingly, not a thought was given to poor Sai Baba, the youngest sibling.

Little did Ali Baba realize, however, the carnage the very Chaos he'd unleashed had created. In a short 14 days, the ogre had managed to totally obliterate not only Toukeh Baba's business empire, but the entire Ehsailand economy. That's just how diversified Toukeh's business interests had become. And in the process, Ali Baba's rice mill became collateral damage in Chaos's path of destruction. Sai Baba was lucky to have survived, having suffered a massive hangover from his night out, totally missing work that day.

It's difficult to describe the look on Ali Baba's face upon his return. Suffice it to say, he was not a happy camper. What he had was lost, and what he wanted remained one ugly Jenglot nightmare. In fact, Ali Baba totally lost it that day, and it is rumored, lived the rest of his days a wandering, destitute drifter, walking aimlessly muttering some gibberish, which sounded like "Zam.. Zam.. Asam Garam... Gurindam... Arti Um".

And Chaos? The 18.9m tall ogre, having totally obliterated everything in its sight, simply vanished into thin air. Not a trace of it, nor the seven dwarfs that it was composed of, were ever seen again.

Ehsailand lay in ruins from that day forth, never again able to return to its former economic glory. What natural resources were left, post-Chaos, weren't economically viable to salvage, shunned by even the richest of foreign direct investors.

Several thousand miles away, Toukeh Baba sat in disbelief as he watched what was happening to his beloved homeland, courtesy of the Al-Jazeera satellite newscast. And although Geneva weather was very pleasant that day, his fortunes, safe in the Swiss bank account he had secretly maintained, could not compensate the grief he had in his heart. Little did he know that it was his step-brother that was responsible. Just as well, one could say - there's only so much grief one person can take. Fortunately for Toukeh, the holiday cum business trip took him, his wife and children, safely away from the massive carnage he was witnessing on the TV screen.

"I do hope Ali and Sai made it through alright," Toukeh said to his wife, as they sat on their hotel bed, eyes glued to Al-Jazeera. Whatever fortune and infrastructure he had left behind was gone forever.

"But nevermind", he thought, as he gripped his wife's hand a little tighter, the boisterousness of his children running around the hotel room music to his ears.

And as the sun dipped below the horizon that beautiful Geneva summer's day, Toukeh Baba could only lament for his homeland. His determination to succeed in life, however, was not diminished.

It was time to start life anew.

~ The End ~

The moral of this silly fable? Well, there are a few, actually.

#. Never trust a Jenglot. Lying bastards, every single one of them. Ugly, too.
#. Be careful what you wish for. It might just come true.
#. Several dwarfish little mistakes, when combined, can become one giant insurmountable problem. One that you may never recover from.
#. Real rewards are the fruit of real efforts. A free lunch can sometimes cause indigestion, or worse, food poisoning.

Thus endeth the lesson...

Click here for the full post......