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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Selamat Hari Halloween

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Image from Forever Halloween, hosting by Photobucket
Well, just a few more minutes before midnight. And that means the end of Halloween for this year. At least in this time zone.

Walski initially had some elaborate post in mind, but time wasn't being very co-operative.

So instead, we give you a newly created theme song, in Bahasa Malaysia, for Halloween. Walski will risk the ire of the language police, but the word Halloween has been left as is (so has candy and Snickers).

Halloween is a lot easier to work into song lyrics.

And what other favorite Malaysian seasonal song to pick, but the evergreen, ever popular, ever wonder who wrote it, Selamat Hari Raya. The one sung by Saloma.

So here is the first ever Halloween song in Bahasa Malaysia.
(in the full post)

Selamat Hari Halloween
(original lyrics here, originally sung by Saloma)

Selamat Hari Halloween
Kepada semua makhluk halus dan jin
Setahun hanya sekali
Merayakan hari menakutkan ini

Di masa bulan lain
Di senja kita pergi jalan-jalan
Pabila hantu menjelma
Lintang pukang kita lari jatuh longkang

(Korus 1)
Budak-budak membuat lampu dari buah labu
Mengunjung jiran mintak cokelat dan candy
Sungguh hebat kostum hantu lansuir dan jembalang
Makcik sebelah lari lintang pukang

Selamat Hari Halloween
Kepada semua makhluk halus dan jin
Marilah memakai topeng
Merayakan hari menakutkan ini

Kat rumah Freddy Kruger
Ada bermacam jenis gula-gula
Mintak lah Snickers sepotong
Hantu lain pun nak jugak, gotong-royong

Hoo hoo hoo... bunyi hantu
Kanak-kanak datang ketuk kat pintu
Ngek ngek ngek hantu mengilai
Halloween meriah, jin dan hantu galah

(Korus 2)
Tiada maaf kalau tak bagi budak makan candy
Nanti kena belasah ramai-ramai
Lampu kereta habis hancur, tayar pun habis angin
Perangai budak pakai baju hantu

Selamat hari Halloween
Kepada Jenglot, toyol, dan pontianak
Malam ngeri di ucapkan
Langsuir kenyang makan sampai tahun depan

Selamat... Ha... ri... Hallloweeeeen...

Walski's footnote: Usually, posting utter rubbish like this is a sure sign that Walski's suffering from writer's block, compounded with other time commitment distractions. But one interesting thing is that this particular Hari Raya song is structured so simply that it can be modified to suit just about any celebration. Try it for yourself!

Click here for the full post......

It's Halloween in Darul ToyoL

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Walski's Quickie Glossary:
Toyol - a mythical Malay child-ghost, common in South East Asian mythology.
Darul ToyoL - State of Toyo Ltd.

Here's some highly recommended music for you to groove to while reading this post.

Should I Stay or Should I Go? by The Clash

Click to play
(Learn more about The Clash)

It's sorta fitting this news should be in today's news. You know, being Halloween and all.

Image hosting by PhotobucketCorruption? OK! Semuanya OK!
(click on image for the news report)

One would have thought that once the Sultan had told him to go, that would have been that. Apparently, there are powers wanting to be mightier than the esteemed ruler. Or at least louder.

For the cynics like Walski, the message the Klang UMNO buggers are giving seems to be this:
Break the Law? Semuanya OK! Sultan silap! Dakyah pembangkang! (Everything's OK! Sultan is mistaken! It's Opposition propaganda!).

Incidentally, along the same lines, KTemoc has an update on some shamefully thuggish behavior exhibited by these die-hard supporters, hurling threats (and racial slurs) at protesters calling for the demolishing of Castle Md Deros.

It also shows how unblinkingly loyal some of these UMNO grassroots people can be. The concept of wrong and right doesn't register. Instead it's loyalty to the leader of the pack, 24-7. And it doesn't matter if said leader is good, bad or ugly.

And being that time of year, The Star reports that the troubles plauging Datuk Zakaria Md Deros may have its roots in the choice of land for the assemblyman's palatial abode. Yes, folks, it's yet another case of bad feng shui.

Aahh... it really feels like Halloween in Darul ToyoL - what a state this state is in... And now it appears that Datuk Zakaria may not be the only bad apple councillor in Klang. The Star has also reported another two Klang councillors getting stop work orders on their houses, which - surprise, surprise - also didn't have their plans submitted to the council.

Meanwhile the Big ToyoL himself has begun spinning to his defense, that he had actually asked Zakaria to resign before the audience with the Sultan.
(more Halloween spin to make your head spin in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketSpin, Spin, Spin... said the spider ToyoL
(click on image for the news report)

Too bad he only thought of releasing this little piece of news nugget long after the audience with the Sultan had been reported far and wide. Walski supposes that mythical creatures of such dimunitive proportions move at a slower pace than the rest of mankind...

As per standard operating procedure, esteemed blogger The Malaysian has his take on this.

Is it Walski? Or is it Memorex? Or is it simply just Halloween magic, here in the wonderfully strange and almost mythical land of Darul ToyoL?

Click here for the full post......

Monday, October 30, 2006

The lyrical resonance of Marilyn M.

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(and that's 'M' for Manson, not Monroe)

What do Marilyn Manson, Malaysian Democracy and the typical Malaysian driver have in common?

Image from AllPosters.com,  hosting by PhotobucketWalski will answer that in due course, but first, a look at some resonating insights contained within the works of one very misunderstood artiste - Marilyn Manson. Because Malaysian commercial radio sucks big time, Walski listens to whatever's on the CD changer whenever in the car. Almost 90% of the time.

Currently in the changer are, among other thing, Nine Inch Nails, The Cocteau Twins, Killing Joke, and of course, Marilyn Manson. More specifically, the Mechanical Animals album.

Oddly enough, the lyrical content of this album resonates with Walski's feeling of what's been happening in Malaysia of late.

Ask any person you pick randomly from the crowd and ask them about Marilyn Manson, you'll either get a blank stare, or they'll immediately start talking about Marilyn Monroe instead, or they'll start rambling on and on about how evil this shock-rock outfit is.

Not surprising, really. The typical Malaysian probably has mush-fo-brains as far as music appreciation is concerned. Especially music that's pretty far off the commercial beaten track, like that of MM.
(lyrical wisdom and the common denominator in the full post)

The first lyrical nugget of resonance comes from the bridge (the in-between of verse & chorus) of Great Big White World.

Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors
We used to love ourselves,
We used to love one another

Maybe it's just Walski, but isn't this exactly what the anti-diversity religionist are doing? Irradicate any form of difference (by labelling them subversive or anti-Islamic) so that at the end of the day, Malaysia becomes the ideally drab, puritanically "white" nation of Islam.

No doubt, there are a number of problems plauging our nation. But using religion as the cure-all pancea is probably not going to produce the desired results palatable to all Malaysians. In pursuing religion-driven solutions, there is always a tendency to go overboard.

Religion aside, the music of Marilyn Manson, if one takes the trouble to listen beyond the shock value, reveals an underside of intelligence and social commentary. A lot of the songs talk about the numbing effects of the plastic commercial mainstream culture of America, and of course lambasting the (sometimes) damaging influence of the Bible-thumpers - the religious right that is exerting a clear influence on America.

Closer to home, though, the next resonating lines come from I Don't Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me) from the same album.

You and I are underdosed and we're ready to fall
Raised to be stupid, taught to be nothing at all
I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me
I don't like the drugs, the drugs, the drugs

What struck Walski was this thought: When you’re bombarded 24-7 about how life can only be lived with institutional crutches, and that certain oblivion is waiting if those crutches are taken away, how else are we expected to turn out? Crutch-dependent, what else. Either that, or you turn to something to numb the pain of non-conformity - drugs and alcohol, for example. When you're psyched up for failure, the likelihood of failing becomes all too real.

Any of this ring a bell? Without stating the obvious, Walski thinks you know exactly what Walski's on about, right?

A third and final example (there are tons more, by the way). This one's a little more on the lighter side of things, and just goes to show that the fascination that the common people have for celebrity-hood is universal. This one comes from The Dope Show.

They love you when youre on all the covers
When youre not then they love another

The point of putting this realization that Walski's had, is two-fold. First, and the more obvious one, is that music is universal, and usually talks about univerally applicable situations, despite the author being thousands of miles away, in a totally different culture. Some problems, and feelings, are there regardless of where one may physically be. It's just the universal beauty of music - even alternative, off-the-beaten-path music. Which goes a long way to explain why people of such varied backgrounds can be attracted to what a particular group or artiste has to speak about, through their music.

The second, and perhaps more important reason, is that most people only care to look at the surface of things they come across in life. In the case of Marilyn Manson, for example, it's really easy to be immediately put-off by how the group (and the frontman of the same name) looks like. This, of course, naturally leads to censorship - without even bothering to understand works of music, writing or art - we all know how The Malaysian Information Gestapo bans particular bands, and their music simply for how they appear. No need to bother with finding out what the band is all about, no need to actually listen - because they appear distasteful, it must mean they're a bad influence.

The same applies to books. Despite the fact that Malaysia has improved a few notches in the world press freedom rankings, everybody knows that books are still being banned. And if you take a look at the actual list (of books banned between 2002 and this year), it amazes Walski at the amount of "protection" our fragile little Malaysian minds are being given.

Walski believes in the saying "you reap what you sow". Book-banning - in fact any banning - simply sends a message that it's okay to not know. To not know is to be ignorant - so the message is, Walski supposes, that it's okay to be ignorant.

Makes sense, actually. The ignorant are the easiest to control and manipulate. And it's not at all surprising that Marilyn Manson's got something to say about that as well [from a different album this time - Holy Wood (In The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death). From a song called GodEatGod].

Before the bullets
Before the flies
Before authorities take out my eyes
The only smiling are you dolls that I made
But you are plastic and so are your brains

Oh, Walski almost forgot - the question we asked at the very beginning of this post: What do Marilyn Manson, Malaysian Democracy and the typical Malaysian driver have in common?

Well, depending on whom you ask, all three are abominations. Walski, however, would probably exclude Marilyn M.

Click here for the full post......

Missing Person: Anybody seen this girl?

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UPDATE (Oct 30 7:04pm): Based on feedback received, the following post has been updated from the original posting. The case was reported in The Star on October 26th. Many thanks to buddy Howsy, and Cyberpartygal for helping verify this.

A few minutes ago, Walski just received a picture of Tang Kuan Yee from her brother, who says that she has been missing since around October 19, 2006. The e-mail stated that she went missing from a shopping complex in Ipoh. This case was reported in The Star on October 26th (Nation, pg 21, if you have the hard-copy, or online here).

Image hosting by PhotobucketRecent photo of Tang Kuan Yee, reported missing since around October 18th.
(click on image for a larger view)


To avoid nuisance contacts, myAsylum wll withhold the contact information of the brother. However, if you have seen this person, or knows here whereabouts, kindly e-mail Walski (or leave a comment) and he will forward it to Kuan Yee's brother. Be sure to include an e-mail address which can be reached (i.e. no Anonymous comments, please).

Also, if you happen to have any information pertaining to the validity of this missing person claim, please let Walski know immediately, and this post shall be amended (or removed) as necessary. Hoaxes do happen from time to time, so we can't be too careful, now, can we?
In addition, you may also contact the following official channels if you have any information: The Perak MCA (+60 5 253-6981), Wisma MCA (+60 3 2161-5678), any MCA branch or the nearest police station.

myAsylum thanks you in advance for your attention.

Click here for the full post......

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Fortunes of the Dead and Celebrated

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So, who's your favorite dead celebrity?

Image hosting by PhotobucketWith Halloween just around the corner, Forbes.com has just released their Top 13 List of Highest Earning Dead Celebrities. While the celebrities themselves are very dead, death has had an opposite effect on their earnings, are very much alive. In fact they just keep on growing. Undead fortunes, you might say.

Since the list's inception 6 years ago, for the first time, Kurt Cobain has topped the list, edging out Elvis Presley as the top-grossing dead celebrity.

The complete Lucky 13 List is as follows (figures indicate earnings in the last 12 months, all figures in USD):
1. Kurt Cobain ($50 M)
2. Elvis Presley ($42 M)
3. Charles M. Schulz ($35 M)
4. John Lennon ($24 M)
5. Albert Einstein ($20 M)
6. Andy Warhol ($19 M)
7. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) ($10 M)
8. Ray Charles ($10 M)
9. Marilyn Monroe ($8 M)
10. Johnny Cash ($8 M)
11. J.R.R. Tolkien ($7 M)
12. George Harrison ($7 M)
13. Bob Marley ($7 M)

The Forbes.com article page also runs a survey on which currently living celebrity would make it to the Top 13 list - eventually, once they're in the great beyond, of course. And the list does not include Siti, or Mawi, so don't be disappointed, okay?
(some thoughts about Kurt Cobain in the full post)

BBC Image, hosting by PhotobucketWalski's glad that Cobain's topped the list. Nirvana will always be, to Walski, one of the greatest bands ever to have emerged from the Seattle Grunge Scene.

Kurt Cobain was not only the frontman for Nirvana, but also the band's spiritual center. It's no surprise, therefore, that the surviving members Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic didn't continue Nirvana, and instead went in their own musical directions.

Grohl, of course, is now the front-man and guitarist for Foo Fighters, while Novoselic has done several one-off or short-lived musical collaborations over the years.

Although Nirvana was around for only seven years (1987 - 1994), their influence on popular rock music has been quite profound, especially after Cobain's death, and the eventual disbanding. This would not have been so, if not for the prolific songwriting legacy that Cobain has left behind. Cobain died on April 5, 1994, of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.
(Source: Wikipedia)

Click here for the full post......

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Dissecting the Saturday morning news...

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It used to be that Saturday mornings were totally dedicated to catch up on the cartoon shows on Astro - Cow & Chicken, I am Weasel, Johnny Bravo... modern-day classics, all of them. Walski's not too keen on the superhero type cartoons, although he does watch them occassionally.

Well today, Walski decided to do something different for a change - to scan the mainstream news to see what the rest of the nation would be forced to read reading. And the nice thing about the Internet and RSS technology is that these days, all the news perusal can be done without harming a single tree.

The first bit of news - more a Public Service Announcement, actually - comes from The Sun e-paper (free subscription required).

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe most educational comic book you'll read this week

This is undoubtedly better than one of those "Send RM 10 to the following address" type ads, which are a real money black hole for the extremely gullible. And there are a lot of gullible Malaysians, that's for sure.

Mediums - large and small - seem to be the favorite go-to people for all kinds of problems - also large and small. Anything from persistent itchy scalp to rebellious children to getting so-and-so to fall in (or out of) love - people consult mediums as the de facto problem solvers. The spirit world, it seems, never seem able to get their eternal rest.

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketMoving along to the next story: An update on that unfortunate American elderly couple, whose apartment got raided at 2am by Langkawi's version of the Mutaween. It appears that Mr. & Mrs. Barnhart are seriously reconsidering making Malaysia their second home.

Duhhh.... well, yeah... who in their right mind wouldn't?

Meanwhile the Kedah state authorities have taken the usual I'm-a-f*cktard-but-too-f*cking-stupid-to-realize-it stance - something called plausible denial, officially. Walski calls it plausible f*cktardiness. From The Star (emphasis by myAsylum):

State Religious and Humanity Development Committee chairman Professor Datuk Wira Dr Othman Ishak said he would investigate the matter.

I was not aware of this case. I will ask the Religious Department head. We will get feedback from the vice-prevention squad in Langkawi before making comments,” he said.

Kedah Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Mahdzir Khalid said he would check with the state Religious Department to find out what really happened.

I was not informed about this case. I will find out what really happened before making any comment,” he said.

Same 'ol, same 'ol... Geez... don't you people read the newspapers (apart from Siti or Mawi stories)? Or surf the 'Net (for things other than porn)? Or do we actually have a bunch of ignorant doofuses running state departments, and entire states, for that matter?

Reminds Walski of I.R. Babboon, for some reason...
(more news dissected in the full post)

Another story from The Star - and this really has to be filed under the WTF?!? category.

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketRail services suspended for 20 minutes - literally.
A stupid accident, with some REALLY stupid onlooker uppers

Perhaps this is a wake-up call to tell us that something is seriously wrong with our public transportation system, particularly in KL. Look at the picture closely. Now, how on earth could anyone have approved an elevated track design that just ends. No barricade, no barrier (a flimsy guard-rail doesn't count, okay?) - just freakin' ends at the last pillar, plus whatever little pre-mixed concrete they had left-over to extend the track-support into oblivion. Or at the very least, a 10-meter drop.

Apart from services at the Sentul East station being "suspended" (get it?) for about 20 minutes, no other service disruptions were reported. More importantly - no casualties (apart from the train).

But the most interesting quote out of all this came from Transport Minister Datuk Seri Chan Kong Choy (emphasis by myAsylum):

“I want them to submit a report to me. It has to be specific, identifying the cause of the incident and who is to be blamed,” he said.

With every problem, blame must be assigned, right? This must be a standard line from the "Malaysian Politician-speak for Dummies" handbook. And at the end of the day, can you blame the Malaysian public for losing confidence in a Government that puts more emphasis in assigning blame, rather than finding long-term, viable, and blame-less solutions?

And finally, a case of "you say to-MAY-to, I say to-MAH-to".

Image from The Star, hosting by PhotobucketNo matter how you pronounce it, it's still
a very essential ingredient in any good spaghetti sauce

Same story, different spin. Apart from the brevity of the New Straits Times report (Walski figures they're bored as well) being the most noticable difference, both news agencies highlighted the very keris-wielding remarks from Baby UMNO Youth chief, Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Hussein.

Whether Bored or Tired, the truth of the matter is that despite the bravado displayed on the exterior, our political stalwarts in UMNO are getting skiddish - they're not used to this type of vocal challenge. Their style is more of an elegant STFU and comply. The ripples of malcontent as a result of this open tirade between Ex and Present is probably going to provide the political underlings (and hopefully more forthright underlings) of this party the gumption to finally speak out en-masse against the ills plauging UMNO. The entire government actually. Or is Walski being over-optimistic?

In the meantime, however, it looks like the battle between Dr. M and the UMNO Juggernaut continues...

Click here for the full post......

Friday, October 27, 2006

Jumping on the Policing Bandwagon

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A few days ago, esteemed blogger The Malaysian asked the bloggerhood a rhetorical question: Is Malaysia really a Police State? This was in relation to the allegation by Tun Dr. Mahathir that Malaysia has become one. The irony of it, eh? And who was it that contributed much to Malaysia being a "Police State"? Who? Who?

In any case, Walski's answer to this is YES, Malaysia is definitely a police state. But not only for the reasons Mahathir claims.

It seems like everybody seems to want in on the action of policing. And we're not even talking about the de facto Police, i.e. the Royal Malaysian Police force. So, lets look at some of the police-wannabes, in no particular order of dasterdliness.

Religious/Moral Police
About a couple of weeks ago, an elderly American couple in Langkawi had a rude awakening at 2am by six men from the Islamic Affairs Department, on the suspicion of khalwat (close proximity between unrelated and unmarried males and females). Nevermind that the couple, Randall & Carole Barnhart (62 and 61 years of age, respectively) have been married for 42 years and grandparents of four. Great publicity for next year's Visit Malaysia Year, isn't it?

Image hosting by PhotobucketMoral Police Tourism - the next big thing for VMY '07?

And with this kind of wonderful publicity, we can expect the foriegn tourist to flock into the country in droves - NOT. Unless of course, the tourists are from equally, or more, repressed parts of the world.

It was not too, too long ago that the disasterous JAWI raid on Zouk in KL took place. But it's okay for the tourists, though, the targets are usually Malaysians - specifically Malay Malaysians. This is probably in hopes that the fun-loving Malay youths will turn religious and change their political affiliations to, you know, a less worldly political party. What a great recruitment tool! Snag 'em, charge 'em, recruit 'em!

Soon, all the youth will remain in-doors, off the streets, with nothing else to do but to listen to the music they love... Oh, wait! Only music that's authorized, though. None of that heavy, black, speed, metal evil stuff... Oh no... not in Malaysia. We love our youth. We cannot let 16 years of mindless education go to waste! Only mindless music is permissible for our youth...

And undoubtedly, some die-hard Malaysian Islamic moralistas, at the end of the day, probably yearn for something like the kind of Moral Police in Saudi Arabia - the mutaween. So steadfastly puritanical, over-zealous and literalist are these moral f*cktards, that their enforcement caused this unforgettable 2002 tragedy to occur. Is this the kind of life we have to look forward to?

But seriously, if you're young and fun-loving, Malaysia is probably not the place to be to enjoy your youth unharassed. For the Young and Malay, it's fun on the edge - constantly looking over your shoulder for the possible sudden appearance of the Moral Police (or their voyeuristic spies), lest ye be nabbed.

Volunteer "I'll-Kick-Butt-for-Free" Police
Otherwise known as RELA - the volunteer, pretty much untrained, civil defence corp. Yes, what better way to spend your free time than weilding a deadly baton, and relishing the possiblity to get called up for the opportunity to crack some skulls. We're told that illegal immigrant skulls are particularly fun to bash.

Ok, in all fairness, not all the RELA members are head-busting brutes. Probably just a handfull, or three. But of late, numerous complaints have been filed against these volunteers for abuse of power (here, for example), particularly in their mobilization to track (and hunt) down illegal immigrants, including illegal breaking and entering (without warrants).

Speaking of lack of training, just the other day, Walski personally witnessed some members of RELA trying to regulate traffic at the Duta Bus Terminal - needless to say, they didn't do a particularly good job. The real traffic police were probably busy doing other things (as in manning Ops Sikap XI). And so these poor volunteers were given the task to control an impossible traffic situation, made possible by a bus depot that was never designed for holiday season volume of travellers - Walski heard that it's bad enough on normal days.

And while RELA does have an important role to play, let's hope that heed is taken to the latest call by the Government to keep them testosterone levels down, and be a civil volunter force, as they're meant to be.
(more wannabe police types in the full post)

Black Metal Police
Walski mentioned something about music earlier, and how this too is being policed by the so-called moral guardians of our police state. Early this year, the Malaysian music scene was shaken by the raid on Paul's Place, on New Year's Eve - a.k.a. the GoatGate incident. Ever since then, the Malay-language tabloids, Harian Metro in particular, have been indiscriminately labelling any loud guitar-driven music genre as Black Metal.

As an educational public service to any of you readers aspiring to be moral music police, actual Black Metal is only one of the 17 or so sub-genres of Heavy Metal (and numerous other pseudo sub genres). A week or so ago, Harian Metro ran an article "lauding" Pos Malaysia for stopping the entry of music CD's of what was described as Black Metal. In the article, they mentioned a few bands by name, among them:

Abnegation
(actual genre: Thrash Metal)


Click to play
(Song title: Follow The Evil)

Unsolemn
(actual genre: Death/Thrash Metal)


Click to play
(Song title: The Turmoil Begins)

In other words, if it's loud, got lots of guitars and gutteral vocals - hey presto! Black Metal. In fact some of the names quoted in the article are not bands at all, but probably compilation titles. But hey, Walski doesn't expect these ignoramuses to know the difference anyway.

And through the proud-ignorance (bodoh sombong) exhibited by tabliods like Harian Metro, anything that is metal-like, or in any way resembling or sounding like metal, immediately gets labelled as Black Metal. And if something isn't understood, or feared, or both, label it with a Black Metal appendage - like Black Metal Aliens.

Oh, and t-shirts - let's not forget black t-shirts. Walski's got a whole closet of them, by the way... that must make Walski evil somehow. In truth, what's evil is the stupidity proudly emblazoned on the foreheads of these moralistic morons, who've got nothing better to do than to take yet another avenue of enjoyment from our music listening youth.

Language & Culture Police
The latest in the collective of wannabe police, otherwise known as Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka (DBP), under the auspices of the Inspector General of the Culture and Language Police, Datuk Seri Rais Yatim.

Incidentally, the Bahasa Malaysia acronym for his ministry (The Ministry of Arts, Culture and Heritage), the Kementrian Kebudayaan, Kesenian dan Warisan, is KeKKWa. Which is simply just too funny. No wonder the ministry is run with such fascist zeal.

Soon, the Language Police will be given the authority to fine owners of signboards which contravene the National Language sensibilities, which presumably they alone know the fine details. There's even talk about unleashing the Language Police at official functions where the National Language would be used.

There was also some talk about the language police being sicced on lawmakers or officials (in Parliament, for example) who do not use the National Language, but instead use English, without prior approval at official functions.

And rather than concentrating on producing quality translation of books into the National Language, which the DBP is apparently seriously behind on, they choose instead to obfuscate their shortcomings with a new policing role. How excellent. Freeze - Language Police!

Image hosting by PhotobucketWither Starbucks Coffee?
(Original images taken from here and here)

Let's just see if they actually do anything about Starbucks Coffee. Like, maybe, change it to Kopi Bintang Kuda Lompat.

And so on, and so forth...

There's probably a lot more policing that various interested parties will probably want to do. Except for the policing which we don't already have, but probably should - like the Turtle Police, or Air Quality Police, or perhaps even the Coral Police...

But then again, being that there isn't even the political will to once and for all create the Police Police, what, realistically, can we expect?

Except, maybe, for more unnecessary, citizen-unfriendly, harassment type of policing... just so that Malaysia lives up to its reputation for really being a Police State...

And the old man has the bloody cheek to whine...

Click here for the full post......

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Anger (Mis)Management: 16 virtual ways to Whack Your Boss

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Walski's note: Some of you may find this somewhat inappropriate, being the festive season and all that (okay, it's a post-holiday filler post, of sorts). However, Walski thinks that this is a good tool to keep your anger under control - particularly the workplace related kind. It also helps with road-rage, so Walski's told... Regardless, enjoy the tool...

Walski found this Flash animation game a last week, before the holidays (hat-tip: Matrix Chronicle). No, Walski doesn't actually hate his boss... at least not enough to whack him off. See if you can find all the ways to whack this hypothetical office terror-monger of a boss. At least it's more legal than actually doing your human boss in... a lot less messy, too.

Instructions: Move your mouse pointer around to search for an object to whack the boss with (the object will get highlighted), then left-click the object. The rest of the dirty deed is done for you. This version has 16 objects in all. After each whack-job is complete, click the Cleaner button (your bloody handiwork will be cleaned up for you), then proceed to look for the next object. You may want to check WhackYourBoss.com, as they do update the game with more objects, from time to time.
(Boss-icide fun in the full post)




Important Disclaimer: Neither Walski, nor the management of myAsylum, condones any form of real physical violence. Virtual violence is tolerated... plus it's better than taking out a bad day at work on your dog, cat, kids, wife, neighbor's wife... also helps with road-rage, so we're told...

Click here for the full post......

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Eid Mubarak - Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

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Image hosting by PhotobucketA time for family, friends and loved ones
Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri...

myAsylum takes this opportunity to wish all Muslim readers Eid Mubarak. Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri.

May the inner strength gained during the month of Ramadhan continue to strengthen us all for the remainder of our time on God's good earth.

For Walski, the only travelling he has to do, fortunately, is around Kuala Lumpur. Yes, a true-blue KL city boy. The next 72 hours will typically be time spent with family and loved ones, and so expect a little scarcity of fresh new posts during that period. Except maybe later in the day.

In any case, Walski hopes that this holiday season, the last shared Kongsi-raya for a long while, allows all Malaysians to put their differences aside and be as one nation, in celebration.

Thanks, by the way, to those whom have left their Raya greetings (Anak Merdeka and Howsy, to name a couple) in the comment space the last few days. All you readers (regardless of pigmentation or belief) will be in Walski's thoughts - while he enjoys Mom's love, which she expresses by feeding her kids to near bursting!

Okay, enuff of the emo crap... Go enjoy yourselves, people... And if on the road, do drive safe and conscientiously - and give a friendly wave to the boys and girls unfortunate enough to have to spend their festive time manning Ops Sikap... we know they're just following orders...

PEACE to all...

Click here for the full post......

Monday, October 23, 2006

Ops Sikap XI: Another record-breaking harvest day...

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Related posts:
Ops Sikap XI: Same 'ol, Same 'ol Eleven Times Over
Ops Siakap... Fishies Beware!! (parody)

As expected, days 4 and 5 of Ops Sikap XI have proven to be a bumper crop for the Grim Reaper.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThis holiday season has been a productive one for the 'ol Reaper

On Deepavali day, October 21, 2006, an additional 17 deaths have been reported. Total number of reported road mishaps (of various severities) were 1,239! Up to Day 5, since the start of the 10th operations franchise sequel, a total of 5,752 accidents have occurred on Malaysian roads. The future looks very bright for the Malaysian kereta potong industry.

But didn't they say the speed limit has been lowered? Hate to say, "Walski told you so", but...
(more vellu-added commentary in the full post)

So much so that the Malaysian Cabinet's official living fossil vented his frustration and disgust in The Star today. But what's there to be disgusted about, Uncle Sam... the killer stretches and black spots still remain year after year, ever ready to be the subject of your media fodder... Why don't you actually do something about it, instead of bitch and moan about how much it will cost. What? Afraid you won't have enough money to continue with those hair weave treatments? It's not your money after all... (Walski's note to potential commenters: Let's not even go there, OK?)

Better yet, do what myAsylum commenter WTF has suggested: lower the toll rates so that more motorists will use the toll highways, which have been proven to be statistically safer. Even better: improve our rail network, nationwide - and not just along the West Coast main rail trunk line - but a nation-wide world class rail network. Malaysia, boleh?

There are solutions, no doubt - but not the will to do it.

That, and the fact that without all these needless road deaths to moan about from time to time, the rakyat will once and for all realize that Uncle Samy is way past his shelf-date, and no longer a Vellu-add component of the (almost wooden) Cabinet.

Meanwhile, the Grim Reaper looks forward to a busy week ahead...

Click here for the full post......

Sunday Afternoon Chit-Chat: Pak Lah & Dr. M Meeting Reports

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Late-breaking news item...

The Star has just released a couple of news reports and four videos surrounding the meeting between Dr. M and Pak Lah, which took place at 3pm on Sunday, October 22, 2006. The meeting was held at Pak Lah's official residence in Putrajaya.

In Dr M: I had my say, the first report, a summary of the former Prime Minister's reaction to the meeting is provided. This is elaborated in the three videos of the press conference with Dr. M, held later in the same day, at Dr. M's residence, plus a video report by The Star, which can be viewed online from the news item. Alternatively, you can view them here on myAsylum (in the full post).

The Star has also included the transcript of the press conference.

The meeting was reported to be cordial, and was a one-on-one between the current and former prime ministers, without anyone else in attendance.
(videos of The Star report, and Dr. M's reaction, in the full post)

The Star Report

Download this video

Tun Dr. Mahathir's Reaction (1)

Download this video

Tun Dr. Mahathir's Reaction (2)

Download this video

Tun Dr. Mahathir's Reaction (3)

Download this video

Walski's commentary: The actual result of this meeting will only be known during or after Hari Raya Aidil Fitri. The only certainty is that Tun Dr. Mahathir, if the need arises, will continue his criticism of the government. As of the time of this posting, no other political figure, including Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, has made any statements in the press. In all likelihood, there will be statements of relief, statements of disbelief, as well as statements of grief (whch Walski expects to possibly come from PAS). Meanwhile, a fictitious sandiwara-style dialog prediction made by Walski's buddy Howsy, should be checked out for comic relief. Surprisingly, some of it actually sounds plausible!

Backgrounder reading: Bernama has published a chronology of events surrounding the spat between Pak Lah and Dr. M - a quick refresher on what's happened when (since the Malaysian public has a notoriously short memory).

More to come out of this meeting in the coming days, Walski quite certain...

Click here for the full post......

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Mercy

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Image hosting by PhotobucketNo, this post is not about the nebulous universal concept, or about the children's game, but about an organization that every Malaysian can, and should, be proud of - the Malaysian Medical Relief Society, better known as Mercy Malaysia.

Walski just found out this morning that on Friday, October 20th, Mercy's founder Datuk Dr. Jemilah Mahmood was conferred the Gandhi-King-Ikeda Award by the Martin Luther King Jr International Chapel of Morehouse College (located in Atlanta, GA).

Receiving the award on her behalf was her husband, and co-founder of Mercy Malaysia, Datuk Dr. Ashar Abdullah.

The award was conferred for Dr. Jemilah's untiring efforts in improving the human condition, achieved through providing medical and humanitarian aid. She is the first Malaysian to receive the award, and to Walski, it couldn't have gone to a more deserving person.
(more on Dr. Jemilah and MERCY in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketWalski feels very privileged that he has had the opportunity to make Dr. Jemilah Mahmood's acquaintence in person. And although the time spent speaking with her has been very brief, her sincerity, inner strength and sheer goodness (for lack of a better word) cannot help but be felt. A true model Muslim, in Walski's opinion, and someone that all Muslim's should be proud of. In fact, someone that all Malaysians, regardless of creed or color, should take pride in.

She has personally been in the thick of conflict, for example, leading Mercy's team of care-givers in the early days of the American invasion of Iraq, during which time Dr. Jemilah was even shot at. Thank God, her injury was not very major. More importantly, the experience, in Walski's opinion, has made her a stronger person.

And being conferred this award recognizing her humanitarian work, as part of Mercy Malaysia, is proof that charity and kindness knows no boundaries of faith, nationality or color of skin - good works are recognized simply for what they are. And knowing Mercy Malaysia, they are perhaps the best ambassador's of goodwill that Malaysia has witnessed in our nation's relatively short history.

Rather than gloating about how Malaysia has the tallest this or the biggest that, we should feel proud that our nation has produced an organization that has been duly recognized for helping those in dire need. It is this kind of "world record" that Walski feels, is more important.

As Malaysians, all of us can do our part in assisting Mercy Malaysia in carrying out their good work. Dr. Jemilah once told Walski that they could always use a helping hand. So, do visit their website to find out how you can help.

The news of Dr. Jemilah being conferred the Gandhi-King-Ikeda Award has once again reminded Walski that despite the isolated bleakness we sometimes choose to see about certain aspects of life in Malaysia, it's not all bad all the time. It helps make today a little easier to deal with, knowing that there is still some true good left in the world. And it gives us all hope for a better tomorrow.

May God bless Dr. Jemilah, her husband and family, as well as Mercy Malaysia, for being the agents of goodwill, self-less charity, and unrelenting mercy.

Click here for the full post......

Ops Sikap XI: Same 'ol, Same 'ol Eleven Times Over

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Related parody post: Ops Siakap... Fishies Beware!!

Image taken from Wikipedia, hosting by PhotobucketAs of the third day, Ops Sikap XI, launched last Tuesday has shown the same effectiveness of previous holiday traffic operations. In other words, not much difference.

The only other "franchise" Walski knows of that has had so many sequels is probably the Friday the 13th series of films. And probably no less gory.

Granted, without the operations we wouldn't really know if the accident rate, and more importantly the death toll, would be higher or not. But one thing is for sure, the reduced speed limit has not produced the magical effect most simple-minded Malaysians were expecting.

Yes, that was meant as an insult... but only to those who really actually thought the reduced speed limit would be an instant panacea.

The sad reality is that when it comes to driving, a large number of Malaysians simply lack the discipline. Even sadder - this includes the police personnel themselves. This comes from Walski's own experience, so don't take his word for it - observe yourselves, if you get a chance, a police car on patrol (and not in pursuit, or escorting some dumbass VVVVVIPs whizzing past, pissing-off drivers caught in congested traffic).

Lane change without signalling, not stopping properly at intersections... you know, the usual stuff moronic Malaysian drivers do whilst on the road.
(more fishy Ops Sikap commentary in the full post)

Based on data made available by the Royal Malaysian Police, and news reports the last few days, Walski found out the following, almost fishy, interesting points:

Siakap #1: The death toll during the first three days of Ops Sikap XI (52 deaths, 3175 accidents) is the second highest ever recorded, while the number of accidents is the highest ever. The highest death toll recorded during the first 3 days was during Ops Sikap V (53 deaths) in late 2003.

Siakap #2: The leading cause of accidents, as reported in the news, was jumping queue and driving on the emergency lane (yeah... tell Walski something he didn't already know).

Siakap #3: Not a peep about how wonderful the reduced speed limit has been in curbing the number of accidents and/or deaths. Possibly because it hasn't helped one single bit, perhaps?

But to expect Malaysian drivers to change their driving attitude from bad to tolerable (at least) is not going to be achieved by periodic operations codenamed the Bahasa Malaysia equivalent of attidtude (that's sikap, not siakap - which is a type of fish).

Walski has no easy solution to offer. In fact, an "easy" solution probably doesn't even exist. Especially when we are dealing with a problem that has been allowed to compound itself for way too many years.

Reducing road accidents is going to involve efforts from the Road Transport Department, the Ministry of Public Works, the Police - just to name a few off the top of Walski's head. There are problems in all areas related to the infrastructure - road design, road maintenance, road sign standards, lane demarkation standards... in short, a total overhaul of everything road/highway related. And don't let Walski even get started on the driver certification process.

Improving long-haul land public transportation will also help - improving the rail network, that is. While express buses do help, they are not a long-term solution. Ad hoc licenses for school and factory buses are also short-term solutions, which have become, unfortunately, a mainstay of peak holiday season long-distance travel.

Image hosting by PhotobucketUnable to accept the death-toll, Jason decides to take public transportation this Balik Kampung season...

And while high-tech gadgetry in minivans may for make good PR, Walski really wonders what good they will do. In all likelihood, the results of this expensive research venture will probably only reveal what we already know. At a mere RM 200k a pop (plus the cost of the van).

For the remainder of this holiday season's Ops Sikap, we'll just have to wait till the end to see if the measures taken will produce the results intended. The skeptical and cynical side of Walski says that this time around will see an all-time high in road deaths and accidents.

Time to call in the Malaysian Book of Records...

Click here for the full post......

Saturday, October 21, 2006

And then there was light... Happy Deepavali, Malaysia

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Image hosting by PhotobucketWith light, vanquished is the darkeness

Walski would like to take this opportunity to wish all Hindu readers a very Happy Deepavali. Or Diwali, as the case may be. And to all Malaysians in general, enjoy your holidays! Drive safe, to and from wherever you may need to be.

May our thirst for the light of knowledge continually grow to one day illuminate the dark recesses of where our ignorance used to be...

Peace to all...

Click here for the full post......

Friday, October 20, 2006

What holds the Future when the Past is overemphasized to live the Present?

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Walski's note of forewarning: Some of you will find this post offensive. Some may find it enlightening, maybe. But in the quest of knowledge, one must question, especially question dogma that is blindly accepted. So label Walski anyway you wish - he makes his own peace with the One he answers to.

Image hosting by PhotobucketIt's official - if you are a Muslim, it's okay to wish your fellow Malaysian of another faith Happy Deepavali, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukkah, or Happy Whatever. And the author of the e-mail that started the furor has since apologized.

But that, of course, didn't stop Baby PAS (to borrow from blogger Alphabet Soup) from lashing out at those who spoke up against the e-mail, including members of the Cabinet and IKIM. Baby, it seems, agrees with the prohibition (as do Daddy, and probably Mommy, too). More political mileage on rethreads. Worn rethreads, at that.

All that said, don't be surprised if some of the Muslim friends you've invited to your open house (whichever celebration it may be) don't show up. While it's okay to wish, there are many who feel that it is not ok to cross-over and actually attend open houses of another faith's celebrations.

In June this year, Walski posted about the statements, and subsequent resolution, made during the Ulama Conference 2006, pertaining to the practice of Kongsi-Raya, urging for a review of this practice. It so happens that the Perak State Mufti had already issued a fatwa (religious decree) a couple of years back. A commenter, known only as Anonymous #3, pointed Walski to the Perak Mufti website, specifically the news item pertaining to the prohibition of celebrating festivals of other faiths, as well as the full written decision (PDF file) for the fatwa.

Walski's in-post note: If these are no longer available for any reason, alternate links are provided here for the news article and for the full decision.

In Anonymous #3's long comment (which you can also read here), he/she states that the ideology exhibited by many of Malaysia's conservative ulama, in part, originates from the opinions of a renowned 13th century Islamic scholar by the name of ibn Taymiyyah. Now, Walski being Walski, he decided to find out more about this scholar, an apparent favorite of our nation's ulama.
(the investigation continues, in the full post)

A rather fair, non-partisan, look at ibn Taymiyyah's career can be found at, where else, but Wikipedia, although you can find numerous other sites containing biographies of the scholar (here and here, to reference a couple).

ibn Taymiyyah, known for his prodigious memory and encyclopedic knowledge, may have contributed a lot to Islamic thought in general. He came from a family of renowned Hanbali jurists, and succeeded his father at a very young age.

But he was very much a literalist when it came to the interpretation of scripture. As to theological knowledge, ibn Taymiyyah held that the knowledge of the ancient scholars is superior compared to that of current ones. This is diametrically opposite to the generally accepted precept that knowledge actually grows over time.

And despite the fact that during his lifetime, he was the thorn in the side of many contemporary Ulama, ibn Taymiyyah is today regarded by many as a foremost jurist, earning him the title of Sheikh ul Islam (lit. Leader of Islam).

He rejected any ideas whose origins were extra-Islamic, and so his stand on celebrating, or even acknowledging, anything not construed to be of Islamic origin, is no big surprise. This also explains why those ulama who reference ibn Taymiyyah's work tend to exhibit similar opinions as the ancient scholar, as well as the conservative leanings of the Hanbali school of thought.

Anonymous #3's comment mentions the four sources of classical Islamic jurisprudence. Specifically, an ulama relies on four sources of juristic reference (in order of authority):
1. the Quran
2. the Hadith/Sunnah
3. the Ijma’ (i.e. consensus of traditional Islamic scholars)
4. the Qiyas (i.e. analogy of a known injunction/opinion applied to a new problem)

What Anonymous #3 did not mention was that the the first two sources of authority, the Quran and Hadith/Sunnah are not independently referenced or interpreted. Rather, established interpretations of classical scholars are used, primarily that of the four major Sunni schools of thought.

Which may sound reasonable, until one realizes that the four schools of thought were established sometime between the 8th and 9th century CE.

The roots of this practice is frequently attributed to another renowned classical scholar Al-Ghazali, whose teachings are thought to have laid the foundation for the closing of the doors of Ijtihad (independent interpretation of the Quran and Hadith/Sunnah).

So what we have today, therefore, is the derivation of Islamic laws and edicts based on the opinions of the classical jurists, in totality, most of which were already fully established around the 10th or 11th century CE. The last time Walski checked, the world has changed tremedously since then.

And herein lie some of the problems associated with classical Sunni methodology. Because independent interpretation of the Quran is not allowed, rather relying on millenium old views, and because the Qiyas cannot contradict the Ijma', what we have therefore is an application and rehash of ancient ideas and views upon current problems. Particularly when the application is done in the spirit of theology alone, disconnected from the realities of everyday life.

And when the choice of classical juristic references (and the ulama do have a choice) are literalist and conservative, so too will the derived rulings be.

Another problem is that the interpretation of established juristic norms are done in a purey textual manner - relying on text references of previous opinions and rulings - with little, if any, studies done on the impact on current society, or even a study and quantification of the perceived "problem" which requires a ruling. The emphasis becomes more on theological reasoning and a text-book application of established jurisprudence concepts, detached from the realities of everyday life. Empirical research and analysis is just not one of the tools the ulama utilize in the process of making judgements. No fault of theirs, however - the tradition and classical methodologies simply do not focus on this area.

Now, there is no doubt in Walski's mind that the prohibition issued by the office of the Perak Mufti was done purely out of noble intentions - to safeguard the faith of the Muslims from syirik - the association of any entity with God almighty. But the prevailing conservative leanings and literalist views have made it such that any nebulous association could become tantamount to syirik. All it takes is an authoratative statement from an ulama.

Attending another faith's celebration out of friendship and courtesy, therefore, becomes construed an act of piety towards that other faith. Nevermind that God, and God alone, knows what's truly in a person's heart. Nevermind that a Muslim's faith is probably not going to be swayed by oil lamps, simply because said lamps are used in another faith's rituals.

But consider this:

The Quran makes it crystal clear that associating any being or entity with God is syirik - no if's, and's or but's - for a Muslim, one's Submission must be to God, and God alone. And the Quran also makes it clear that the Prophet Muhammad's status, in comparison with the other prophets of God, is not any higher, or lower. Great and exemplary a man that he was, Muhammad was just a man.

Why, then, does the Sunni Islam Shahadah (declaration of faith) necessitate the inclusion of a declaration that "Muhammad is a messenger of God"? And that the declaration of "There is no god but GOD" (as stated in the Quran numerous times) is somehow not sufficient.

Now, isn't that, in itself, an "association"?

In the end, however, it is God, in His infinite wisdom, that knows best...

Walski's source acknowledgements: Many of the references made in this post have come from Wikipedia, and this has been done purely for the sake of convenience. It does not, in any way, imply that the other available references are of lesser value. The idea behind the reality-detached nature of contemporary juristic rulings comes from an article written by Dr. Mohammad Omar Farooq (Associate Professor of Economics and Finance, Upper Iowa University, USA), entitled "Islamic Fiqh (Law) and the Neglected Empirical Foundation".

Walski would also like to thank reader/commenter Anonymous #3 on the comment, which is what prompted this post. If Anonymous #3 doesn't mind it too, too much, kindly drop Walski an e-mail (not a comment) so that Walski can thank him/her properly.

Click here for the full post......