500: This is Splattar!

Technorati tags: Humor, Religion, Mutant Mullah, Islam, MENJ

It's true what they say - time flies when you're caught in an endless loop having fun. And before Walski's realized it, this is post number 500. And ironically enough, it's about Walski's favorite Mutant Mullah, and his latest faux pas.

In one of his posts today, MENJ, via HypoCritical Thoughts, decided to deride Zainah Anwar, Executive Director of Sisters in Islam (SIS), and in the process, proves to the world just how dense he can be.

It takes a lot of effort to NOT know the difference between The Star and the NST

You know, it really would take someone a whole lot of effort to actually mistake The Star for the New Straits Times, but MENJ has apparently achieved this arduous task. With ease, and his usual impunity. This, by the way, is a screenshot of the article MENJ refers to.

The New Straits Times, formerly known as the Straits Times, but never as The Star
(except that some people can't seem to tell the difference)

What really perplexes Walski is that he's "taken the liberty to upload her article". From where? Now, that's the real question. And it is a question only MENJ can answer.
(more Splattar-ing, in the full post)

Unless, of course, somebody sent him the article, told him that it was from The Star, and MENJ being MENJ, didn't bother to verify its source - not necessary, usually, when he lambasts people he dislikes. And so lock, stock and barrel... which means that "the most liberal in the NST editorial circles" CAN "stomach the writings of that liberal bitch".

By inference, since he claims that the Islam Zainah Anwar speaks of is not the "true Islam", it means MENJ would then be the poster boy for "true" Islam. Which would also mean that MENJ's Islam encourages its adherents to call females they dislike bitches, or in Walski's case, an illegitimate son of a whore (in not so many words) - as if he was there when Walski was born.

All Walski can say is that it takes one to know one, MENJ.

Of course, delusional presumptiousness is one of MENJ's hallmark traits - present something whose truth he cannot confirm, yet claims it to be true, and believe it with all his heart. Like claiming Zainah Anwar has never read any of Karen Armstrong's books. As if he knew. So, is this, too, the trait of a "true" Muslim?

Oh, and not verifying your sources and make yourself look like an utter twit in the process.

Of course, when confronted he displays a level of arrogance that is in its own class. But then again, arrogance and self-righteousness is probably also one of those traits recommended in MENJ's "true" Islam. (Also the tendency to change, and sometimes delete, his posts, in retrospect)

Like the kind of arrogant self-righteousness exhibited by the Jakim officials who raided the restaurants Walski mentioned about in a previous post. If you read Zainah's article, the restaurants were located in the Bangsar area. This incident was also reported in Malaysiakini yesterday. Okay, it was probably about not using the Jakim approved Halal sign, more than anything else (that's just what Walski thinks), but the heavy-handed way it was done gives a whole new meaning to the word tolerance that's allegedly practiced in Malaysia. Mutant Mullah style tolerance, more like.

The "we only tolerate people who think like us, and agree to think like us, and the rest of you lot can go fuck off and die" kind of tolerance.

Niiice... as a certain Khazak dude would say.

So apparently, in addition to the numerous attempts at trying to have a morality police squad (which we know MENJ supports), we also now have religious food police. Nevermind if the eatery is unhygenic, or if the staff are aware of the basic hygiene requirements - like washing your hands after handling trash or going to the bathroom. Nooo... all that is unnecessary as long as the eatery staff are Muslims, and the premise carries the Jakim Halal logo.

After all, no such thing as transmission of disease, right? Isn't that what the Prophet said, supposedly?

Oh, well... in truth, Walski even wonders why he bothers with trying to counter whatever bullshit MENJ occassionally comes up with. It's not like he'll ever come to his senses, and realize that all his beligerance and arrogant stupidity does is to chip away at whatever little credibility he has.

Which, after today, is probably a lot less than when he decided to go on a hate-driven slur-fest, without thinking (and checking) first...

And if that is supposed to be model Muslim behavior... well, may God save us all...

Click here for the full post......

Wake up and smell the 21st century...

Technorati tags: Malaysia, Religion, Islam, Commentary, Progressive, Regressive

Recently, there has been a series of letters at Malaysiakini arguing about Islam, it's interpretation and relevance today. As is usually the case, it is between support for the traditional, tried and true approach, versus a call for a more contemporary interpretation.

It all started with a letter from Azza Basaruddin, writing from Cairo, commenting about the Lina Joy decision, particularly about the apparent obsession of some to keep Lina within the fold of Islam. Part of his argument quoted the oft quoted verse from the Quran - Surah 2 Verse 256 - that there shall be no compulsion in religion.

This was rebutted by another person writing from Cairo, Abdul Rahman Abdul Talib, protagonist for the traditional (and conservative) view, stating the usual argument that the verse does not apply to those whom are already Muslims.

Walski wonders, though if Abdul Rahman and Azza actually know each other in the real world. Assuming, of course, both are Malaysians studying in Cairo.

In any case, Abdul Rahman's letter was rebutted by Syed Alwi Ahmad, and the ongoing back and forth has been primarily between these two. One calls for maintaining the status quo, while the other calling for a more contemporary interpretation. In making his case, however, Abdul Rahman states some pretty interesting stuff, which gives us a glimpse into how conservatives view the question of the Quran, and its role in Islam today.
(more back-n-forth, in the full post)

In the letter written by Abdul Rahman, entitled "Secularism the anti-thesis of Islam", while rebutting Azza's interpretation of 2:256, he had this to say (emphasis by myAsylum):

Azza’s understanding of the verse would also introduce massive contradictions in the Quran. Azza should also be fully aware that the source of jurisprudence in Islam is not limited to the Quran alone. It is also based upon Al Hadeeth, Al Ijma and Al Qiyas. The Quran alone is not sufficient to answer all the needs for jurisprudence for the entire time until the Hereafter.

That is why the Quran tells us to follow the Prophet SAW (Al Hadeeth) who then taught us how to use Al Ijma (consensus) and Al Qiyas (comparison) when making a ruling based on Islam.

Obey God, and obey the Prophet... which is found in many places in the Quran. This, however, has been used as justification that EVERYTHING the prophet said, ate, wore, and did must be followed verbatim. Ironically, in many cases, the word hadith in the Quran comes with it negative connotations, such as "In what Hadith after this will they then believe?" (Surah 7 [ Al-Araf] verse 185) - of course, leaving the word hadith untranslated.

But what's more surprising is the dogmatic belief that the Quran alone is insufficient, despite the many verses which makes claim that it is detailed and complete. It would appear that this belief, too, would give rise to contradictions within the Quran. And it reminds Walski of this verse from the holy book:

Quran chapter 17 (Bani Israel) verse 46

And We put coverings over their hearts (and minds) lest they should understand the Qur'an, and deafness into their ears: when thou dost commemorate thy Lord and Him alone in the Qur'an, they turn on their backs, fleeing (from the Truth)
(Yusof Ali translation)

In his reply to Abdul Rahman, Syed Alwi has this to say, among other things ("Time for moderate Muslims to put their foot down"):

With this sort of blind following of dogma - totally devoid of questioning and criticism - it is no surprise that the Muslim world is in a pathetic state today. It is time for moderate Muslims to question Islamic dogma.

We cannot blindly follow dogma which is based on the socio-political context of the 10th century to guide us in the 21st century. Scientific progress is based on the freedom of thought, conscience and speech. Ignore or oppress those liberties at the expense of progress.

And this continues over two more rounds of back and forth. Walski will not delve into the details, but will provide you the links for your further reading (see the end of this post).

Another interesting thing to note is that while Malaysian Muslims (the majority anyway) seem to be so caught up in upholding the traditional-conservative approach, Muslims elsewhere are starting to realize that it is high time to live in the now.

Walski came to know about the initiatives of a group of Muslims in North America, calling themselves Muslims for Progressive Values (MPV), who are promoting a more inclusive and progressive approach towards Islam. Much emphasis is given to the basic principles of tolerance, inclusivity, mercy, compassion, and fairness. These are, after all, principles that are abundantly talked about in the Quran. A press release about the recent MPV Founding Conference can be downloaded here (in PDF) for anyone interested.

What also makes MPV interesting, to Walski, as a Malaysian, is that it is co-lead by a Malaysian, Zuriani Zonneveld.

Quite different, however, with what's happening in Malaysia itself, where conservatism, coupled with a very narrow worldview, and intolerance, is being promoted as being what Islam is all about. Where exclusivity of who can, and cannot, speak about Islam, is strongly articulated. And even more disturbing, is some of the actions being carried out by Islamic authorities, in the name of "protecting Muslims".

We all know and have read about the more high profile cases involving belief, and so Walski won't rehash them here.

Very recently, Walski got to know about a raid carried out by JAKIM on an Indian-Muslim and one non-Muslim Indian eateries. This was also reported in Lim Kit Siang's blog (see here and here). Apparently, in the case of the non-Muslim eatery, JAKIM took offense (via some person's "complaint") to the fact that there were Hindu deities on display in a restaurant that Muslims frequent - the food is apparently halal (kosher for Muslims) based on the halal certifictes from the food suppliers, but the restaurant didn't have the JAKIM Halal logo (which costs money).

In the case of the Indian Muslim restaurant, the charges were even more bizarre. JAKIM claims that the restaurant didn't have the proper JAKIM Halal certification (which they probably didn't), although the restaurant did produce certification from the bulk food suppliers to state that what was supplied was halal. Then, JAKIM also confiscated the Quranic verses which were adorning the restaurant - were these too not the JAKIM approved kind? Then there was the charge of not having Muslim staff (everyone working there is Muslim, although not Malay).

The above accounts, incidentally, come from reliable sources, including eyewitness accounts.

To Walski, it's up to the individual, and not the state, where one wants or doesn't want to eat at. If there is doubt, then don't. Apparently, someone had complained to JAKIM, and so they took action - interestingly enough, whenever there is a complaint about ex-husbands not paying up alimony and support, etc. the excuse given by the Syariah courts is always that there is a shortage of enforcement manpower to pursue the ex-husbands. It would appear that there is more than enough feet to do other enforcement, including the invasive kind.

Is this the Malaysian version of being progressive? Or have the more vocal Malaysian Muslims (majority or minority, Walski truly doesn't know) totally lost any sense of being able to rationalize anything in their lives, and choose to let some other authority do the thinking for them? It's almost as if the Muslims here want state intervention in more and more areas of their lives... Walski wouldn't be surprised if one day even the freedom to have a conscience would be made illegal for Muslims - rather, only rely on what the state says what one can, or cannot believe.

Certain things, Walski strongly believes, is up to the individual, and not the state to dictate. Like what to believe, and where to eat. At the end of the day, it is the individual, and not the state, that's answerable to the higher power. Which is again something that many Malaysian Muslims don't agree with - that the state must intervene and police, even in the most mundane of everyday activities.

In any case, Walski has digressed... the real point here is this: God gave us two things, our intellect, and the Quran, as our guide.

Why have many chosen to totally abandon both?

If this question can be answered, then perhaps, there is still some hope that Muslims may one day wake up and finally smell the 21st century...

Chronology of Malaysiakini letters
For those interested, Walski has compiled the list of related letters pertaining to the back and forth mentioned in this post. One other letter writer not mentioned earlier, is Mahdar Tahir, who leans more to the traditional camp. There are a number of things of interest that have been brought up by both sides of the argument, so happy reading!

► June 11, 2007 - Gatekeeping will not stop apostasy
► June 14, 2007 - Secularism the anti-thesis of Islam
► June 18, 2007 - Time for moderate Muslims to put their foot down
► June 19, 2007 - Time for moderate Muslims to start learning
► June 20, 2007 - Find more contemporary interpretation of Islam
► June 21, 2007 - Muslims need to learn their religion properly
► June 22, 2007 - Whimsical interpretation of Islam wrong
► June 25, 2007 - Apostasy - what’s good for the goose also good for the gander?
► June 28, 2007 - Islam - learn first before calling for re-interpretation

Click here for the full post......

Death Row

Technorati tags: Dark City, Film, TV, Death Row, Film Noir, Malaysia, Astro

Related post: Strolling the Dark City

Catch this episode of Dark City tonight, entitled "Death Row".

"Death Row", this weeks episode of Dark City
(tonight, 10:30pm Astro Ria)

But if, for some reason, you can't catch it tonight (at 10:30pm on Astro Ria, Channel 4) - like being in Bintulu, stuck in a hotel room without Astro Ria - the episode will be repeated another five times this week at the following dates and times:

28-Jun-2007 at 4:30 AM
28-Jun-2007 at 5:30 PM
29-Jun-2007 at 5:00 PM
30-Jun-2007 at 10:00 AM
1-Jul-2007 at 3:00 AM

Still from "Death Row", this weeks episode of Dark City
(Wednesday nights, 10:30pm Astro Ria)

And what is this episode about? Director Tony Pietra was kind enough to provide a synopsis.
(episode synopsis, and trailer, in the full post)

"A stark, violent prison drama/thriller set in an imaginary SoutheastAsian country ... and beyond the grave. A brutal guard inflicts hell on the inmates, but hellbound is the one who remains unrepentant for his sadism."

And if that's not good enough to pique your curiosity, and persuade you to switch to Channel 4 tonight from whatever other crap you happen to be watching on Astro, here's a trailer (via YouTube) of the Dark City series.

Looks pretty cool, actually... About as much gore as one could possibly get away with on Malaysian TV. Walski will definitely have to catch one of the re-runs... as in, guess who's in Bintulu, stuck in a hotel room without Astro Ria...

Click here for the full post......

Cartographers declare Civil War

Technorati tags: Humor, Satire, Cartography, Civil War, Ministerial faux pas

Wind-Breaking News! A myAsylum exclusive!

Cartographers up in arms over the status of island nations!
(original image taken from fusionanomaly.net)

Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia), This Week - Unexpected seismic ripples have been resonating through the cartographic community following a shocking disclosure made in Malaysia's Parliament this past week, when Minister Mohd Nazri Abdul Aziz (whom some quarters allege is not a real minister anyway) stated that

“Singapore is not a real country, it is a small island. Singapore’s population is just three to four million and there are no opportunities for corruption, unlike in our country."
(source: Malaysiakini [subscription required])

While the Malaysian public and political fraternity had expected retalationary downunder tongue-action from neighboring Singapore, what has instead happened has been totally beyond expectation. And from a totally unexpected party. Cartographers.

Cartographers the world over have picked up on this disclosure and acted to finally come out of the closet, and be vehemently split into two factions - with one side being Pro Island Nation (PIN) and the other anti (AIN).

The leader of the pro Island Nation side, who only wished to be identified as Ayah PIN, stated that the minister's statement has caused the status of many nations to suddenly be in question.

"If Singapore is not a real country, then what about Fiji, Kiribati, Mauritius, Nauru and numerous other island nations? Does anyone have a clue how much work it's going to be to change all those maps, printed and online?"

On the other side of the argument, the AIN faction have hailed the ministers statement as being timely - about damn timely. A spokesman, who did not wish to be identified, spoke to myAsylum, from behind a grassy knoll.

"For year, we have been lobbying real, more continent-locked countries to issue a motion in the UN to revoke nationhood from these wannabe countries. We are in agreement with the esteemed Malaysian minister. In fact, we are even pushing for sanctions to be placed on larger island nations, to have their country-dom revoked. Beginning with Australia.

Those liberal freaks who are in favor of still having these wannabe countries keep whining about maps having to be changed. They ignore the bigger issue at hand here."

When asked what the bigger issue at hand was, the spokesman huffed and puffed and muttered something about blasphemy, Noman, and other nonsense, and rushed off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, Google reported that hackers, believed to be working with the PIN, almost managed to change the source code of their Google Earth application. It is believed that these hackers had intended to draw country boundries around every island imaginable.
(every island a nation, or not, in the full post)

PIN, in the meantime, has been busy preparing memoranda to present to the United Nations, and unlike AIN, believe in starting small. Their target? Brunei. PIN claim that Brunei is actually an island nation - to be exact, two islands bordering the South China Sea, and the sea of Sarawak. PIN claims that their action is merely trying to protect the sultanate's sovereignity.

AIN have not kept quiet, however, and in what can only be called a showdown, have allegedly been organizing clandesitne raids, in a bid to rid libraries and server farms the world over from "blasphemous depiction of islands as nations".

So far, physical violence has not been reported in this verbal battle, but unconfirmed reports have started to come in claiming that a vicious food fight spontaneously broke out in the cafeteria of Rand McNally & Company, at their headquarters in Skokie, Illinois. No human injuries were reported, but the carnage claimed the lives of six dozen apple cobbler pieces, twenty seven slices of pizza, nineteen scoops of vanilla ice cream, and an undisclosed amount of miscellaneous food bits - Chicago CSI has been sent in to identify the remains. Fifteen cups of Jell-o are so far still unaccounted for.

Such violence was not witnessed, however, in the offices of National Geographic, whose management reportedly imposed a lock-down, as soon as the Minister's statement was released on Malaysiakini. Some NatGeo staff have reported that they have been forced to sign an "I Promise" document, pledging to behave during office hours. Any disagreement, the document alledgedly states, should be "taken outside".

In the background, rumors have surfaced that plans are underway to reconcile the more moderate PIN and AIN, into a new organization, tentatively called PAIN. Negotiations, according to some one-eyed witnesses, are being led by an individual that looks suspiciously like Kevin Spacey. His relationship to the warring factions is not known.

The silent victims, in this latest controversy, are of course the users of online search engines, such as Google, Yahoo! and Ask.com. Unconfirmed reports have been received of 404 Page Not Found errors when trying to query keywords such as Haiti, Grenada, Palau and "Saint Kitts and Nevis". Could the reach of AIN operatives be wider than originally thought, or just a case of coincidental wrong-keystroke-itis?

Meanwhile, a seismic anomaly in Southeast Asia may just prove to be the catalyst towards reconcilliation between AIN and PIN. Attributed to the massive earthquake on Boxing Day in 2004, a landmass has mysteriously appeared - at the northern tip of Sumatera. A new island, in other words. This new landmass has tentatively been named Noman.

And as expected AIN and PIN cannot come to an agreement as to the soveriegnity of Noman. So far, no human inhabitatants have been reported, one of the prerequisites of an island being its own nation. Monkeys and flying creatures, however, are abundant.

Despite this, they can, however, agree on one thing - that Noman is an island.

Click here for the full post......

Strolling the Dark City

Technorati tags: Dark City, Film, TV, Independent Film, Film Noir, Malaysia, Astro

Mention film noir, and the next thing that comes to mind will most likely not be Malaysia. Or Astro. And even less likely, Astro Ria (Channel 04). Well, guess what?

Catch Dark City, every Wednesday night, 10:30pm on Astro Ria

Got this heads up from one of the directors, Tony Pietra, budding director, and the driving force behind Cinejam. The 13-episode series airs on Astro Ria every Wednesday, at 10:30pm, and debuted about 2 weeks ago, without much fanfare.

Actually, without any promotions whatsoever, as far as Walski can tell. He does watch a fair share of Astro, and doesn't recall seeing anything pertaining to the series.

Truth be told, if it were not for Tony's mail, Walski wouldn't have known about this series either. Astro Ria isn't exactly one of those channels Walski watches with any regularity. The second episode, which debuted last Wednesday, can be viewed early tomorrow morning at 3:00am (each episode gets repeated about 5 times throughout the week).

Featuring 7 directors, Khai Bahar, Keith Chong, Johan John, Virginia Kennedy, N'aa Murad, Tony Pietra, and Rob Nevis, Dark City features 13 half-hour long episodes a la omnibus anthology thrillers, in the vein of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, and The Twilight Zone.

This week's episode (you can watch the next re-run at 3am tomorrow morning) is Late Night Radio, directed by Johan John. Among other things, this episode's got DJs, and vampires...
(more bleeding edge TV, in the full post)

As for Tony Pietra, his episode, entitled Death Row, can be seen next Wednesday night. Walski met Tony for the first time during the Cinejam trial event some months back. And boy, is this guy talented. Among the work that he's done in the past are a music video for Shelly Leong (for the song Forgiveness), and this following music video, for the local group Rabbit.

In addition to Death Row, another episode directed by Tony Pietra for the Dark City series is Car Park Murders, whose air date is yet to be announced (hat tip: Ben Tan, actor featured in the episode).

Following Tony's episode (which will air on June 27), will be Cellphone, directed by Khairil Bahar, which is scheduled to air on July 4). Khairil, or Khai for short, is best known for his independent film Ciplak.

It's not often that such gritty film noir is featured on local Malaysian TV, and rarer still, a series of film noir created by local Malaysian talent. Instead, what gets promoted to death is inane, juvenile entertainment, like Akademi Fantasia, or even worse, anything featuring the persistently annoying Aznil Hj. Nawawi.

The same fate, it would seem, has befallen Dark City, for which, Walski has not seen one single bit of promotion on Astro - or anywhere else, for that matter.

So, try to catch the rest of the series, if you can - Wednesday nights, 10:30pm on Astro Ria.

Click here for the full post......

Idiots PiMP'd my Parliament

Technorati tags: Humor, Politics, Malaysian Parliament, Decorum, Parody, Ebonics

Yesterday, Malaysiakini reported on the verbal slagging between de facto Law Minister, Datuk Seri Nazi Nazri Aziz, and Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang. The topic of the bitch-slap exchage? Corruption. And Malaysia's dismal year-on-year performance in Transparency International's rankings.

But what was more interesting than the stupid-stupid-stupid exchange, was what Speaker of the Dewan Rakyat had to say, refusing to make a ruling on improper language, as asked for by opposition MPs:

Yo! Yo! Y'all... Speakah in da House, y'all... y'all gonna chill out or y'all gonna get some whoopin'... Yo!

Okay, okay... he didn't actually say that. What MC RN Tee Dewan Rakyat Speaker Ramli Ngah Talib actually had to say was this (source: Malaysiakini [subscription required], emphasis by myAsylum):

“Improper language is used all the time in Dewan Rakyat. If I make a ruling every time it happens, we will not have any time for debates.

“Even though I don’t encourage rudeness in the House, I will not make a ruling. However, I hope MPs will be more careful with the language they use in future,” he said.

Some time back, Walski remembers reading this about "debate":

Debate - de stuff you put on de hook to catch de fish...

in which case, Nazri really fell for it, line and sinker.

But what really got Walski's noggin' into overdrive was the implication of what da spekah in da House had to say about not making a ruling on the stoopid-stoopid-stoopid exchange...

And what future sessions in Parliament just might sound like...
(Yo! Yo! Lots more to come, dawg... in the full post)

Speaker (MC RN Tee): Yo! Yo! Shut da fuck up y'all... da Speakah's in da house! We here gonna be talkin' bout fixin' dat... Yo! Bizkit! Yer done yappin? Now shut yo' mouth and an' lissen up... Dang!

Opposition Leader (MP Lime BizKit): Sorry, dawg... jiz gettin' mah crew to simmer down... Yo! Chill, y'all!

MP Whip Nazty Z: Biatch... yo... shut da fuck up... da speakah in da House!

MC BizKit: Dang it... dawg! Who u callin' a bitch? I oughta come over there and bitch-slap the fuck outta yo ugly ass face...

MC RN Tee: Enough.. ENOUGH chirrens... Okay, y'all... as I be sayin' before.. we here to bitch.. err talk.. about fixin' da leaky roof and how we's gonna get da moolah tuh do it...

MP Mo' Zed Yoo: And dem leaky ho's too...

MP Bung: You da man, dawg! You da man! Yo! Yo!

(Da House breaks into a 2 and a half minute frenzy of cacophonic laughter, cat-calls, table banging... with appropriate background scratch-rap hip-hop by DJ Z Muddlin', natch!)

MC RN Tee: Yo! Yo! Niggaz... shut da fuck up, y'all.... You! YOU! Yeah, YOU! Sit yo ass down, NOW! What da fuck you ass wipes think this place be? (try picturing Samuel L. Jackson saying this for added EFX)

MP Whip Nazty Z: Speakah in da House! Speakah in da House!

MP BizKit: Yo asswipe... dun be yappin' bout my ho, aaight? Dang! Yo! Mizz Thaang... chill, girlfirend!

MC RN Tee: Y'all gonna get some kick-ass whoopin' if y'all don't shut da fuck up... Order in da House, y'all... Order in da house....

... and so on, and so forth...

Okay... enough is enuff... Well, turns out that Ebonics is more difficult to do written-like than Walski initially thought, but y'all get the picture... aaaight? So are we finally gonna see some naasty talk on TV someday, once Parliament get televised, or what?

Or is da speakah in da House gonna finally get his ass down and lay down the law like he's s'possed to? Like, as in do his job, dawg?

Or should we just rename the Parliamentary records as the Humsarp'd instead?

Talk about minimal testicular fortitude, y'all.... Yo!

Walski's back-to-planet-Earth reference footnote: For a more down to earth look, from a slightly different angle, at this stupid-stoopid Parliament exchange thingy, do check out Howsy's post. Cartoon, cartoooon.... y'all.

Click here for the full post......

Make mine a Smoked Salman Cheesecake

Technorati tags: Humor, Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses, Outrage, Islam, Muslims

It had to happen sooner or later. No, not the award that Salman Rushdie just got from the British government. Walski is talking about PAS rallying in front of the British High Commission (hat-tip: The Malaysian). It certainly isn't difficult to piss Muslims off these days, huh? Lina Joy, Sharifah Amani, and now this...

Among other things, PAS demanded that the British Government withdraws the award with immediate effect. Or else, suffer the consequences.

Yeah, right...

Of course, the action by PAS follows other protests, primarily from Pakistan and Iran, over the award given to author Salman Rushdie (whom, if he had been born in Hong Kong, may just have had the misfortune of being named Salman Rush Rush Die), which gives Rushdie the right to suffix his forename with the title "Sir".

There are those, of course, who view this - the award to Rushdie - as more evidence of the evil West conspiring against Islam.

"This honorary award given by the British Government to Salman "The Devil" Rushdie is indeed a confirmation that Rushdie’s work in insulting Islam is not just his personal contempt against Islam but an effort supported by certain governments in the West."

So much so that Walski could almost imagine this conversation having taken place:

Queen Elizabeth II: My, my... the world seems just too much at peace these days... **sigh**...
Queen's Advisor: Your Majesty... I have a cunning plan...
QE II: What is it, Baldrick?
QA Baldrick: Let's give Salman Rushdie the Knight Bachelor... that'll rattle them Moslems for sure...
QE II: What an excellent idea! It'll be Danish Cartoons all over again... make it so, Baldrick!

Somehow, though, Walski thinks not... the Queen probably has a lot of more important things to worry about. Like having a horse for a daughter-in-law.
(more horsing around with controversy, in the full post)

Meanwhile,

In neighbouring Iran a non-governmental organisation, the Committee of Glorification of the Martyrs of the Islamic Movement, said it was increasing its reward for killing Rushdie to 150,000 dollars from 100,000 dollars.
(source: Channel NewsAsia)

Walski really does wonder if any of those whom are so terribly riled have even read "The Satanic Verses"... or is it a case of just being pissed off because it's inherrently in their nature to be perpetually angry at the world? Or is it actually fun to be homicidally angry all the time?

Regardless, it's not like "The Satanic Verses" is the only book Salman Rushdie's ever written - he has, among others, nine works of fiction to his credit. In fact, his most acclaimed work is "Midnight's Children", which won him the pretigious Booker Award in 1981 (and Booker of Bookers in 1993).

But the riled-up Muslims seem to only focus on this one controversial book. Anyone who's actually bothered reading it (which admittedly is difficult these days in Malaysia) would know that the controversial bits surround one of the dream sequences, inspired, most likely, by a narration of the Prophet Muhammad's life, which according to Wikipedia, can be read in the reviews of historian Ibn Ishaq's works by scholars such as al-Tabari and al-Waqidi. In fact, the term "Satanic Verses" wasn't even coined by Salman Rushdie.

Anyone who believes that the Quran has God's protection against corruption would, of course, immediately refute that any of the narrated stories could possibly be true. And, as far as Walski knows, no one called for the execution for either one of these people in their time, or made sure that their descendents were hunted down like criminals. Progress, huh?

Of course, Rushdie took it to a new level of provocativeness and vulgarity, which is probably what pissed off many Muslims in the first place, accusing him of insulting the Prophet, his wives, and Islam in general.

But really - "The Satanic Verses" is as much about Islam, as the film "My Left Foot" is about pediatrics (or for that matter, podiatry), or "The Matrix" about math.

Regardless, the anger exhibited thus far is real. And how, pray tell, is this anger going to restore Islam to its desired ancient glory? Assuming that Britain withdraws the award (which we now know won't ever happen), will the Islamic world, overnight become a more glorious place?

Again, Walski thinks.. not.

The withdrawal may placate the angry Muslims, for a while, until the next thing comes along that pisses them off. Which could literally be anything that even resembles being insulting to their sensitivities pertaining to the Prophet Muhammad, or Islam, in general.

Who knows... with this anger du jour being targetted at Rushdie, Walski wouldn't be the least bit surprised if somebody somewhere gets the crap kicked out of them for ordering a slice of Smoked Salmon Cheesecake - just because it sounds a bit like "Salman".

For the time being, Walski thinks he'll stick to tuna. It's much safer...

Walski's culinary-aside footnote: Believe it or not, there actually is such a thing as Smoked Salmon Cheesecake. Walski's never tried it, but the recipe looks yummy...

Click here for the full post......

Poll Position: Perception is 99% of reality

Technorati tags: Poll Results, Candlelight Vigil, Law, Civil Society, Malaysian Federal Constitution

Some weeks back, Walski posted a poll to ask if you thought the Malaysian Federal Constitution was still the supreme law of the land. The result, although worrying, doesn't come as a surprise to Walski one single bit.

Our reality is based on what we perceive

You see, apart from being a straw poll to ask the obvious, it was also an implicit test - of reality vs. perception. And the results show that we base our reality on what we perceive. Walski doesn't really know if those who voted did so in view of what they believe the situation to be, or on the basis of how they felt it should be. And really, it doesn't matter.

It's the perception that's the real story, and is what Walski was really getting at with the poll.

The reality, legally speaking, is that the Malaysian Federal Constitution is still the supreme law of the land - this land we call Malaysia. Yes, it is increasingly being trampled upon, no doubt. And the apparent lack of will we see in the Judicial fraternity to uphold it as the supreme law of the land doesn't help one bit. But the reality of it is that the Federal Constitution still reigns over any other law in the country. Like it or not.
(a vigil, and maintaining Constitutional supremacy, in the full post)

Tonight, at 8pm, at the foot of the giant flagpole on Dataran Merdeka, a candlelight vigil will be held (hat-tip: The People's Parliament, and Malaysiakini, among others). There are a few reasons why you should be there, apart from giving Revanthi your moral support and prayers.

It is also to show your support and commitment in affirming the supremacy of the Malaysian Federal Constitution, particularly the parts of it that protects fundemental liberties. Like the Freedom of Belief.

The vigil is jointly organized by a whole host of civil society organizations and various women's rights groups, including All Women’s Action Society (AWAM), Sisters in Islam (SIS), Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO), Women’s Centre for Change, Penang (WCC) and Women’s Development Collective (WDC).

Click here for the full post......

Mutant Mullah: Balderdash Balderama

Technorati tags: Humor, Satire, Religion, Malaysia, Sharifah Amani, Muallaf, Mutant Mullahs

In a way, the balderdash from Fatwaman Harry "250,000" Z. and the other Mutant Mullahs, about Sharifah Amani going totally bald for her role in Yasmin Ahmad's upcoming Muallaf, comes as no big surprise. After all, there's no Lina Joy issue to really bitch about anymore, is there?

So what better way to keep the conservatism alive in the minds of the feeble Muslims than to harp on the first opportunity that comes along? Incidentally, in the New Straits Times report, the Perak Mufti was named as Harussani Idris.

Huh?!?

Did Fatwaman go and change his name without the knowledge of his flock? Or did the NST screw up? Regardless, the NST piece, later to be picked up by the rest of the world, was entertaining in its own right. Yes, folks, we finally now know the real position of women as far as these esteemed ulamas that time forgot are concerned - to be frowned upon should they ever deviate from the mental mould they have set for women.

Walski first got to know about this mini-minded uproar through Marina M.'s post (quoting the AFP version of the report), then via 3540 Jalan Sudin. Yeah, it's been blogged about by many, and admittedly Walski is a little late on this. And not to be left out, the Bandar Tun Razak PMIP came out with their two-bits as well (whose acronym is PIMP spelled backwards).

So, the Mutant Mullah Power Rangers seem to be in agreement that a woman is deemed to have sinned if she shaves her head.

"Unlike Muslim men, going bald for women is forbidden in Islam. It is sinful for men to act or behave like a woman and vice versa"

This interesting nugget of wisdom comes from the Selangor Darul "We so wanna be like Kelantan" state Mufti, Datuk Mohd Tamyis Abdul Majid. Interestingly enough, try hard to find it as you might, you'll probably not find any such prohibition in the Holy Quran. Minor detail, one supposes. A millenium of compounded consensus (or ijma) of the many theologians and scholars, based on extra-Quranic sources, can't possibly be wrong, right? But more about that later on.

Going by this reasoning, Walski proposes a new business venture for whomever wants to take up this one-time franchise offer: a chain of rehab centers for the gender-role confused Muslims of Malaysia, and for whomever else the Mutant Mullahs deem as sinners. Since we just love to put our transgressors into rehab (or prison), why not make some bucks while we're at it.

Walski calls this franchise idea Role Over, and is your opportunity to inflict some rehab love, while raking in some moolah in the process.

Because, come to think of it, going by the reasoning given by Datuk Mohd Tamyis, (and the other Power Rangers) there be sinners all over the damned place. The rehab business never looked so promising!
(gender bender rehab, and more, in the full post)

Walski hasn't quite worked out the business plan for Role Over just yet, but here are some of the rehab program modules that he has in mind:

Un-Manning De Chefs
Perhaps one of the most abhorrent facts of culinery excellence is that many great chefs the world over, many Muslims included, are male. This is simply unacceptable. Males are not supposed to cook - that be the work of women. This program will rehabilitate any Muslim male chefs that are turned in, and upon the successful completion of the program, will not any longer know the difference between puree and pulverize, or a skillet from a wok. Praise the Lard!

Femina 101
It is truly shocking that Muslim women these days, in Malaysia particularly, are way too capable for their own good. Why can't they be more like the women folk in Saudi Arabia? Femina 101 de-educates them from being a human citizen of the world, and restores them to the proper role of woman as defined by a millenium of male-dominated servitude - as their place should be, out of the limelight, and preferably out of sight altogether. Keep them womenfolk in check, and surely all social ills will go away - it's all their fault anyways.

Facial Hair is Righteous
True Muslims like their women like they like their shag rugs - as hairy as possible, eyebrows in particular. Any attempt to rectify this is therefore sinful, and truly abhorrent. This program module will ensure that the righteous women look the way they're supposed to, and not like the unbelieving women (note: the definition of how exactly an unbelieving woman looks like is still being worked on - we'll get back to you once a consensus on this has been reached).

Facial hair, particular eyebrows and hair - the thicker the more desirable

Screw Science & Progress
Similar to the female eyebrows, any attempts to change the natural way of things as God has ordained is a grave sin. This includes cutting of hills and clearing forests for development (ABHORRENT!), not using beasts of burden, and instead, motorized vehicles, for transportation purposes (ABHORRENT!), using science to seed clouds for rain (ABHORRENT!), electronically graven images (the Devil invented TV and DVDs - Doubleplusungood ABHORRENT!), and numerous other transgressions witnessed on a daily basis. This module fixes that by re-educating those in the fields of science (yecch!) to be more God-fearing and find other fields of study that are more religion-friendly - like religion. Unlike lawyers, society can never have enough of religious scholars, in oder to change society back to the groovy way it was a millenium ago. We have way too much knowledge for our own good these days.

De-Dogification of Society
One of the biggest transgressions is the use of dogs in today's society. This module will change that. Instead, we aim to replace all uses of dogs in society to the preferred, more Muslim-friendly, more righteous beast - the cat. Once this module is in place, and those who need re-education have been re-educated, we will proliferate society with guard cats, seeing-eye cats, drug-sniffer cats, etc. All dogs currently used for such purposes will be decommissioned - permenantly. Filthy beasts... them dogs should've never been allowed on the ark in the first place... but hey.. **it happens.

Toe the Line with Tow Trucks
This applies specifically to the so-called artistes, particularly the female ones (who really should stay home and make babies anyways). This special re-education module aims to make the Malaysian Entertainment Industry Syariah-compliant, with the ultimate aim of eliminating the industry altogether in the long run. Since Jakim has already come up with some preliminary guidelines, we aim to add to these to make life as an artiste a living hell (this is still in draft form):
► Muslim artistes shall be prohibited from being in scenes where the sexes are mixed.
► Phase 1 - female Muslim artistes shall have their voices dubbed over with male voices (but not falsetto). This shall apply to TV, Film and Audio. Phase 2 will have images of Muslim female artistes edited out.
► Strict implementation of the existing guidelines, failure of which will cause any associated media to be banned, and any losses incurred.. well, tough. In addition, all artistes who knowingly go against the existing guidelines shall find themselves thrown into the friendly moral rehab centers in their state of residence, and their transgressions widely publicized in the media. We've made a deal with Jabba the Newsman to see to that.

~ o o o o o o o ~

Granted, some of these Role Over franchise modules are still pretty preliminary, and need some tweaking. But Walski guaran-freakin'-tees you that this franchise will be a hit in Malaysia, what with the mindset that Muslims seem to want to adopt. Great business opportunity, Walski tells ya.

Never mind that Karen Armstrong chick and the nonsense that she had to speak about world religions... ya da ya da ya da... When it comes to religion, nothing works better than fear, loathing and a certain amount of holier-than-thou attitude to make sure the multitude of mindless masses toe your line... or we'll sic the tow trucks on you... straight to rehab, where you belong.

Walski's Amani 5-0 footnote: Dear Nani... thanks for the inspiration which contributed to this post. And sorry for all the bullshit you've had to put up with. Mo' power to you, girl... Hope the rest of the shoot goes well... and don't mind the noise from the noisy few... do what you gotta do!

Click here for the full post......

At webloggerheads... on International Weblogger's Day

Technorati tags: International Weblogger's Day, Solidarity, All Blogs, Flame Wars

Yesterday, June 14th, 2007, was International Weblogger's Day. The theme this year: Solidarity. Not much fanfare on the local scene, unfortunately. It seems to have come and gone without much being noticed. That said, there will be an event in conjuction with International Weblogger's Day, organized by Geng Jurnal, this Saturday, June 16th.

Date : 16th June 2007
Time: 9:30am to 5:30pm
Locations:
Dataran Merdeka (treasure hunt).
Titiwangsa Lake Garden (ice breaking & games)
Registration Fee: RM7 per person (or RM21 per group of 3)
Who should attend: GJ members and non-member bloggers are welcome!
Official website: Geng Jurnal

Walski's not sure what ice breaking is exactly, but he's sure it will be fun...

Meanwhile, in the Malaysian bloggerhood, the tea cup has been stormy of late, and observing what's been happening, solidarity, it would seem, is the last word that comes to Walski's mind.
(at bloggerheads over free speech, in the full post)

It is kinda disconcerting to see how flame wars sometimes spill over into our real lives. Walski thinks that this is a little silly. It's almost like bad science fiction - the cyberworld comes to life, so to speak. In the worst of ways.

Yes, some people have it in them to inflame other people, for whatever reason - Walski doesn't need to name names here, but if you really wanna know, go read about it at Shar 101's blog (and the numerous associated links).

As Walski has stated more than once, free speech can hurt. If we believe in freedom of speech, in the truest sense, we should realize that occassionally, scum, like cream, rises to the top. And if you think that certain speech is hurtful, hateful or even dangerous, it would then be incumbent upon ourselves to counter said speech. Everybody has an opinion about everything, and sometimes we may feel those opinions to be skewed.

That's life. Live with it.

What has happened in the meantime is that Kickdefella, the bloggerhood's Numero Uno poster boy, has resigned from the All Blogs Pro Tem Exco, apparently as a result of the ongoing flame wars. Okay... that's his prerogative, and his right. Even though the whole argument has nothing whatsoever to do with All Blogs, Sheih has every right to do what Sheih feels is the right thing to do. This has also been reported by Rocky's Bru and O.B.E.

Walski will say this, however: let's keep online blog-comment flaming online where it belongs, and not allow it to spill over into the real world. It certainly isn't healthy, and as far as Walski is concerned, totally unnecessary.

Kind of like how some people cannot distinguish between fictional depictions on TV and film, with real life. Getting so absorbed into the world of TV/film fiction, and mistaking what you see for real life can be funny to observe (at least for Walski), especially when people start talking back to the the TV.

Human nature is such that our emotions sometimes get the better of us. We lose our objectivity, start to become partisan on issues. Worse still, towards the actual people who stand on different sides of issues. We go further than oppose the ideas, we start opposing the people whose ideas and speech we oppose. And when things get personal, the inevitable spillover into real life can get unnecessarily ugly.

The one thing that gets hurt in the process is the one thing that this year's International Weblogger's Day is supposed to be about: solidarity.

We all do this thing called blogging for numerous, varied reasons. In Walski's mind, the only thing we can claim to have in common, across the board, is probably our passion for it. And that is probably the only thing that truly binds the various individuals behind All Blogs, and not some implicit politically motivated agenda. Yes, some of the things that individuals within the Exco have done were probably misconstrued as being representative of the organization.

But what are we, if not a collection of individuals? In a loose grouping such as All Blogs, the actions and views of a few can easily get misconstrued as representing the many, or the all. Or All Blogs, as the case may be.

Let's not get emotionally carried away, and make All Blogs about more than what it is intended to be - a single voice, in solidarity, fiercely protecting our passion for blogging, and our right to blog... nothing more, and definitely nothing less.

Click here for the full post......

Wanted: Type A-Negative blood

Technorati tags: Public Service Announcement, Blood Donation, SJMC, Type A-Negative

Walski got this in the mail moments ago. Although he's on the road, it's something worth posting. Hopefully you A-Negative types read this. And there's not much time to act.

Type A-Negative blood urgently needed!
(click to view image source)

There is a patient at Subang Jaya Medical Center (SJMC) who is about to undergo a heart bypass this coming Tuesday, June 12, 2007, and needs about 8 pints of blood. The blood bank doesn't stock this variety of blood, hence the need for fresh donations. So far, only 2 pints have been donated, and more is needed.

The patient's name is Lachamanan Vasudevan (MR No. 340577).

If anyone reading this has A-Negative type blood, and would like to donate, please contact the SJMC Blood Bank at (03) 5630-6575. You'll need to mention the patient's details as stated above when contacting SJMC. Alternatively, you can call the patient's wife [Susan Yong @ (017) 362-4843].

Screening for CABG Donors (and donations) is done at the SJMC Blood Bank, located at the 5th Floor of the SJMC Outpatient Center. It's open weekdays from 0830 to 1730 hrs (also during lunch time).

Walski has it on good authority that this is indeed a genuine request, and hopes that anyone out there who can donate to do so ASAP. And if you can't, but know of someone who is type A-Negative, kindly pass the word along.

It's the small things you do that sometimes make a world of difference for those in dire need.... and a mere pint goes a long way in this case.

Click here for the full post......

And they lived happily ever after...

Technorati tags: Wedding, Pak Lah, Mak Lah

The End

Where fairy tales usually end, in this dimension we call reality, is where the true adventure begins. And today marks the beginning of a new adventure for our PM and his bride-to-be. Walski, on behalf of the laborious gnomes and elves at myAsylum, wishes the First Couple the heartiest of congratulations.

The quicky-announced, quickly-done wedding also proves that there is no smoke without fire, as the rumor of this wedding had already been floating around for the past few months. Or where there's a will, there's plausible deniability.

Oh well, now that we've put that speculation to rest, let's get on with our lives, shall we?

Walski has, however, heard a number of people express relief that the PM was sensibly dignified enough to marry someone of Jeanne Abdullah's age, and not some nubile young thang, as some of his political contemporaries had done in the past.

The truth is that the two have known each other for quite some time, and the "history" of the couple is quite well-known - so, Walski won't repeat it here.

Now what Walski really wants to know is what pet name the media will adopt for her. Mak Lah, perhaps?
(more fairy tale endings, in the full post)

Well, whatever it may turn out to be, Walski, as he's sure the rest of Malaysia does, wishes the nation's first couple well.

Anyone that's been married for a while or has been in a long-term relationship will know that at the end of the day, it's all about companionship, and going through the passages of time with someone you care about. And living the rest of your life with someone you've already known (presumably quite well) makes it all the more easier to focus on the real things in life.

And real life is definitely no fairy tale.

That said, Walski does pray that the First Couple will have their Happily Ever After. Isn't that, after all, what every single one of us would wish for in our own relationships?

On that note, Walski, once again, wishes the couple well - Selamat Pengantin Baru.

The Beginning

Click here for the full post......

In Memoriam: Loganathan Arumugam (1953 - 2007)

Technorati tags: In Memoriam, Loganathan Arumugam, Loga, Alleycats, Music

Hat-tip and further reading: Jeff Ooi's Screenshots & The Great Swifty Speaketh

Those of you who know Walski, either through this blog or in person, would probably have an idea of what Walski's musical taste is. It's pretty eclectic, and usually shies away from Top 40 or very commercial music. Be that as it may, it would be a lie to say that Alleycats did not, at some point touch Walski's life.

Loganathan Arumugam, or Loga, as he was also known, co-lead singer and flutist of Alleycats, passed away on Monday, June 4 2007 at 10.50am, at the Mount Miriam Hospital in Penang (via The Star).

Loga (center, in light-colored shirt) with the rest of Alleycats
(click on picture to view source)

Walski cannot claim to have known any of the members personally (although Mrs. Walski, being a Penagite, was at one time a major fan), although he's bumped into David many times in various places in KL. Loga's passing, and its timing, however, is significant.

At least to Walski.
(more thoughts on Loga's passing, in the full post)

You see, Alleycats is a musical outfit that Walski quite liked while he was in secondary school between the mid-1970s and into 1981. Back then, as Walski remembers it, we were definitely more a nation, celebrating our diversity as citizens of one nation. One Malaysia.

And Alleycats, to Walski, was the musical epitome of muhibbah. Here were a bunch of ethnic Indian and Chinese musicians, singing in Bahasa Malaysia and English. More importantly, the appeal Alleycats had transcended racial barriers. Everybody loved their music, as Walski recalls.

Loga's passing comes at a time when the nation is much more divided - be it along racial or religious lines. Or even both. The recent events surrounding the Lina Joy case has truly brought out the worst in us, as witness throughout the bloggerhood. And admittedly, Walski is, to a degree, guilty of allowing his emotions get the better of him.

Perhaps, we should take a little time out from our collective cynicism (Walski included), and think back to the times when we could truly call ourselves Malaysians, regardless of background, and be proud of it. Back to the Alleycats heyday.

True, this does not take away the fact that there are serious differences and inequalities that we should work hard towards eliminating. What we once had, collectively as a nation, is fortunately not all lost. And it is something we can still regain, if it were our desire to do so.

And perhaps God, in His infinite wisdom, picked now to take Loga away for a reason.

To Loga's family and close friends, kindly accept Walski's deepest condolences. Loga, with the rest of Alleycats, showed the nation, through their music, that we do indeed have commonalities. And that is something Walski will never forget.

May you rest in peace, Loga, and may God shower you with mercy... And finally, courtesy of YouTube, one of Walski's all-time favorite Alleycats numbers...

Terima Kaseyyyh!!

Click here for the full post......

Sparta! and other bad analogies...

Technorati tags: Humor, Religion, Politics, Malaysia, PAS, Kelantan, Sparta, Bad Analogies

Big hat-tip to The Boinq, for pointing Walski's attention to this...

Yesterday, as part of their coverage of the ongoing PAS Muktamar (Convention), Malaysiakini carried an article focusing on PAS' Mursyidul Am (Spiritual Advisor), Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat, who is also Kelantan Chief Minister. The part that Walski found interesting was this (making an analogy about those leaving the fold of Islam):

“It’s like joining the army. You can choose to join. But if you wear a uniform, start training only to desert later, you’ll be caught by the military police,” he told a press conference in Kota Baru last night.

Reading this analogy, the first thing that popped into Walski's head was

Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight... we dine... in Kelantan!

(more bad analogies, and Spartan thoughts, in the full post)

Yes, once again the film 300 finds itself as the source of unlikely comedy. Walski knows just how cliche this is... he simply could not help it.

Now, Nik Aziz's analogy is pretty bad for a number of reasons. First off, no one is born into the army, unless you're talking about ancient Sparta. Unless you come from a totally different yet-to-be-discovered dimension, no one chooses to be born, nor chooses which family to be born into. It's a different case altogether with those who embrace Islam, as adults, coming into the religion on their own free will.

Secondly, it's the uniform bit. There is no uniform, per se, in Islam - you know, as in the dressing kind. There are a number of Muslims, however, who think that wearing robes and turbans are a requirement of piety - following the Prophet Muhammad's example, they say. It's a requirement if you wanna look like an Arab, maybe.

Lastly, as pointed out by a commenter in The Boinq's posting on this, these kind of analogies don't help one bit in ridding the mis-perception that Islam is a militant religion. Neither does the kind of analogy that equates apostates to being spies and traitors to a country - as made by a certain self-acclaimed pro blogger.

We're not exactly talking about Sparta here, people. Granted, the good Tuan Guru Nik Aziz does live a rather spartan lifestyle... to his credit.

Here's something interesting that Walski would like to relate to you. And it kinda exemplifies how some people, whom we may generally pooh-pooh as being backward, are actually quite liberated when it comes to religion. It's about what Walski's uncle's domestic assistant (otherwise more commonly known as a maid - a Muslim, from Indonesia) had to say about the whole Lina Joy thingy - "Why all the big fuss? If someone doesn't want to be a Muslim anymore, why not just let her change her religion? Things like this don't happen in Indonesia".

Incidentally, it is this same liberated mindset that many conservatives within the Malaysian Ulama circles are trying so hard, tooth and nail, to fight. Walski won't digress further into this right now. Suffice it to say that while Malaysia may have come a long way in terms of material development, we have an equally long way (if not further) to go before our collective mindset is truly liberated from being colonialized. It's just that in most cases we simply don't realize from whose colonization we're trying to liberate our minds from.

And since one bad analogy deserves another, here's Walski's analogy about why it is futile to force someone to remain a Muslim when in their hearts their faith lies with another system of belief.

You can bring a horse to water, but you can't force it to play Water Polo

Get the general picture?

Click here for the full post......

The sensationalist stylings of Jonathan Kent

Technorati tags: Humor, Journalism, Obfuscation, ZAM, Propaganda, BBC, Jonathan Kent, Lina Joy

Sensationalism. It sells news. And so when Walski spotted the following headline this morning, he knew something bone-chillingly exciting was afoot. Or a-0.3m, to be Metrically correct.

Althought the article doesn't delve into what tune, or music genre, ZAM says DON'T

It doesn't quite say what tune, though. Naughty Star... knowing damn well that incomplete reporting such as this irks music afficionados like Walski to no end.

I'm too sexy for my by-line, too sexy for my column-inch, too sexy.... somehow this Right Said Fred tune keeps buzzing in Walski's head.

Being that it's been a rough week, and Walski needed some sensational stuff to pep up his Saturday morning, what else could he do but head on to the very BBC article that ZAM was referring to. Excpecting, of course to find mayhem, maybe even a trumped up murder or three, sex... oh yes... what could be more sensational than sex...

Caution: This BBC article contains extreme non-sensationalism

Okay reading thru paragraph one... Where's the sex? Where's the murder mystery? It has to be in paragraph five or later... read on, Walski, no turning back now! Knowing damn well the reputation that Jonathan Kent carries with him - Mr. Sensational himself - there has to be sensationalist drama-queen stuff in here somewhere... Okay, he may not be as sensational as his possible-relative Clark, but hey... good 'ol Jon definitely knows how to ruffle feathers with his extreme Western bias and sensationally written articles... right? Err.. right?
(more deflated sensationalism, in the full post)

WTF??!?

Walski's been had!! The BBC article couldn't be more humdrum fact-filled... Damn. Was really looking forward to some adrenalin-jolting stuff, instead of the totally butt-numbing, straight-laced reporting that Walski had to endure through this morning. Butt-numbing, because he had to sit down while reading it.

And unless you're totally and incurably tone deaf, and have no dancing capability to save your sorry ass, you can't only NOT dance to the BBC article, Walski found it even impossible to hum to. The only humming Walski could hear was from air-conditioning in his home office. That's how musically challenged the BBC article was.

Which begs the question: exactly which part of the article was sensationalist?

Was it this?

Malaysia's constitution guarantees freedom of worship but says all ethnic Malays are Muslim. Under Sharia law, Muslims are not allowed to convert.

Or perhaps this?

Ms Joy has been disowned by her family and forced to quit her job. She went into hiding last year. A Muslim lawyer who supported her case received death threats.

Unfortunately, both quotes happen to contain factual information. Some of us may not like to hear it, but they are, in fact, true. Damn the BBC for printing such truth Western bias.

Or was it possibly the offending file photo and the equally offending caption that accompanied it? Look at the photo and caption carefully (on the right). Can you spot the offensive bits? Yes? No? Maybe?

In fact, the only misleading sensationalism Walski could spot anywhere in the article was the photo of a few big and small domes, which were irresponsibly captioned to allude to the possibility that Lina Joy could actually be seen in the picture. So, which dome represents Lina, and which of the family that disowned her? And is the boss of the job she quit even represented by any of these domes?

Why these particular domes? What's the significance of these very domes - which come to think of it, are somewhat phallic, if you stare at them long enough. Is it a blatant attempt by the BBC to pollute the minds of innocent and naive Malaysians, through this irresponsible use of domes?

And if one were to deconstruct the word dome, what do you get? DO ME. A ha! They want to DO US IN! And get us to DO IT to our ownselves. By our own selves. It's all subliminal and devious, Walski tells ya. All hail ZAM! Protector of the feeble-minded!

Sensationalist Western propaganda, Walski tells ya...

I'm too sexy for my Ministry,
Too sexy for my obfuscation,
So sexy... my dick hurts...

Damn it - that stupid Right Said Goebbels ZAM Fred song is still echoing through Walski's synapses... don't you just hate it when you wake up in the morning and a certain song keeps playing over, and over, and over again in your head all fucking day long? Like a broken record - or ZAM?

Which actually reminds Walski of this wonderful children's book he had read when he was a wee little lad... L. Frank Baum's The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. ZAM kinda reminds Walski of the Scarecrow. Not because the Scarecrow is made of straw and is kinda flimsy.

But because at the end, when they all get to see the Wizard, the Scarecrow asks the grand Wizard for something they both need in common ... a brain.

Walski's furious DO ME footnote: With apologies to Jonathan Kent - who, while not officially credited for the article (Walski couldn't find a by-line), is the BBC's Malaysian correspondent, and therefore the obvious target of scorn by anyone dissatisfied with how the BBC reports. No domes, foreign or local journalists, idiot Ministers or oft-parodied artistes were physically harmed in any way in the process of writing this post.

Click here for the full post......