Idiots PiMP'd my Parliament
Technorati tags: Humor, Politics, Malaysian Parliament, Decorum, Parody, Ebonics
Yesterday, Malaysiakini reported on the verbal slagging between de facto Law Minister, Datuk Seri Nazi Nazri Aziz, and Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang. The topic of the bitch-slap exchage? Corruption. And Malaysia's dismal year-on-year performance in Transparency International's rankings.
But what was more interesting than the stupid-stupid-stupid exchange, was what Speaker of the Dewan Rakyat had to say, refusing to make a ruling on improper language, as asked for by opposition MPs:
Yo! Yo! Y'all... Speakah in da House, y'all... y'all gonna chill out or y'all gonna get some whoopin'... Yo!
Okay, okay... he didn't actually say that. What MC RN Tee Dewan Rakyat Speaker Ramli Ngah Talib actually had to say was this (source: Malaysiakini [subscription required], emphasis by myAsylum):
“Improper language is used all the time in Dewan Rakyat. If I make a ruling every time it happens, we will not have any time for debates.
“Even though I don’t encourage rudeness in the House, I will not make a ruling. However, I hope MPs will be more careful with the language they use in future,” he said.
Some time back, Walski remembers reading this about "debate":
Debate - de stuff you put on de hook to catch de fish...
in which case, Nazri really fell for it, line and sinker.
But what really got Walski's noggin' into overdrive was the implication of what da spekah in da House had to say about not making a ruling on the stoopid-stoopid-stoopid exchange...
And what future sessions in Parliament just might sound like...
(Yo! Yo! Lots more to come, dawg... in the full post)
Speaker (MC RN Tee): Yo! Yo! Shut da fuck up y'all... da Speakah's in da house! We here gonna be talkin' bout fixin' dat... Yo! Bizkit! Yer done yappin? Now shut yo' mouth and an' lissen up... Dang!
Opposition Leader (MP Lime BizKit): Sorry, dawg... jiz gettin' mah crew to simmer down... Yo! Chill, y'all!
MP Whip Nazty Z: Biatch... yo... shut da fuck up... da speakah in da House!
MC BizKit: Dang it... dawg! Who u callin' a bitch? I oughta come over there and bitch-slap the fuck outta yo ugly ass face...
MC RN Tee: Enough.. ENOUGH chirrens... Okay, y'all... as I be sayin' before.. we here to bitch.. err talk.. about fixin' da leaky roof and how we's gonna get da moolah tuh do it...
MP Mo' Zed Yoo: And dem leaky ho's too...
MP Bung: You da man, dawg! You da man! Yo! Yo!
(Da House breaks into a 2 and a half minute frenzy of cacophonic laughter, cat-calls, table banging... with appropriate background scratch-rap hip-hop by DJ Z Muddlin', natch!)
MC RN Tee: Yo! Yo! Niggaz... shut da fuck up, y'all.... You! YOU! Yeah, YOU! Sit yo ass down, NOW! What da fuck you ass wipes think this place be? (try picturing Samuel L. Jackson saying this for added EFX)
MP Whip Nazty Z: Speakah in da House! Speakah in da House!
MP BizKit: Yo asswipe... dun be yappin' bout my ho, aaight? Dang! Yo! Mizz Thaang... chill, girlfirend!
MC RN Tee: Y'all gonna get some kick-ass whoopin' if y'all don't shut da fuck up... Order in da House, y'all... Order in da house....
... and so on, and so forth...
Okay... enough is enuff... Well, turns out that Ebonics is more difficult to do written-like than Walski initially thought, but y'all get the picture... aaaight? So are we finally gonna see some naasty talk on TV someday, once Parliament get televised, or what?
Or is da speakah in da House gonna finally get his ass down and lay down the law like he's s'possed to? Like, as in do his job, dawg?
Or should we just rename the Parliamentary records as the Humsarp'd instead?
Talk about minimal testicular fortitude, y'all.... Yo!
Walski's back-to-planet-Earth reference footnote: For a more down to earth look, from a slightly different angle, at this stupid-stoopid Parliament exchange thingy, do check out Howsy's post. Cartoon, cartoooon.... y'all.
