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Saturday, May 23, 2009

HENN: Police uncover seditious keyboard

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Police Mistake DAP HQ for Digital Mall 
myAsylum has discovered a new inanimate object considered seditious - keyboards - reporting straight from Hell, and soon-to-be Hell-on-Earth, Malaysia. Another episode in the continuing series from the Hell-on-Earth News Network (HENN)

PETALING JAYA - It started innocently enough. 11 police officers, bored out of their wits, went on a shopping spree, wanting to purchase DVD’s and other computer supplies. Due to their really crappy driving skills, however, what started as a trip to Petaling Jaya’s Digital Mall, ended in victory when the eleven officers, frustrated for not finding the mall, raided  the Democratic Action Party’s (DAP) Headquarters instead.

Picture of Leng Han and party leaders during the police raid ... on TwitpicVictory, because the police have uncovered the world’s first seditious QWERTY keyboard. Another world record for a country with a penchant for the world’s first this, that, and the other.

This latest heist by the police adds to the ever growing list of objects considered seditious in Malaysia, after butter cake and black t-shirts.

The Royal Malaysian Police, also known (in Bahasa Malaysia) as Polis Raja Di Malaysia, were reported to have been overjoyed at their unique find. More so because it was a chance raid, and in particular, because they didn’t have to go through the hassle of securing a warrant. Like would be the case in most other civilized countries.

“We’re kings in this country, you loser reporter,” an unidentified un-flying police officer of objectionable behavior allegedly said.

It is believed that in addition to PC supplies, the police officers in question were also looking for their uniforms. This has been surmised by HENN’s video analysts after viewing images of the arrest, captured earlier during the raid.
(the arrest video, and more, in the full post)

Through Twitter - that annoying Web 2.0 application, which makes censorship and suppression so 20th century - HENN was alerted to a 3-part video, now on the DAP’s YouTube channel, taken during the raid earlier today.

DAP HQ Raided (1 of 3)
DAP HQ Raided (2 of 3)
DAP HQ Raided (3 of 3)

It is so far unconfirmed whether or not the 11 officers were sober or not when they carried out the raid, as HENN has been made to understand that the DAP Headquarters looks nothing like the Digital Mall, despite both being in the Petaling Jaya area. And Petaling Jaya is a huge friggin’ place.

Also, speculation is rife that the police may fault the raid on a sabotaged sat-nav device which pointed them to the wrong building.

HENN will keep a close eye on this, and other related (and maybe some unrelated) seditious news. Meanwhile, our editorial staff has advised the public to not flaunt their QWERTY keyboards in public areas. 
(© 2008 - Hell-on-Earth News Network)