Walski’s pre-post content mild warning: This post contains material that may be a little NSFW. It does not, however, contain any offending pictures. Only potentially offending text and ideas.
Those of you whom have been following myAsylum since the beginning may just remember that way back in 2006, Walski blogged about a local curry house, McCurry Restaurant, being prevented from using the ‘Mc’ prefix, as the High Court felt that McDonald’s (and only them) had the exclusive right to do so. There was, of course, other silly stuff in the post, but those were triggered by the news item.
Well, guess what? The decision was yesterday reversed, as reported by The Sun, by the Court of Appeal.
And this latest tidbit of news, of course, brings up all kinds of McPossibilities…
(McBoundless fast-food possibilities, Swine McFlu, and more, in the full post)
Take, for starters, Air Asia. Tony’s airline could conceivable go into a catering tie-in with the global fast-food giant to sell their foodstuff on board. Just imagine…
Now, Everyone Can McFly
… which may cause Marty McFly to not be too terribly pleased, but then again, who really cares how a fictional character feels anyway, right? In any case, it’s not like we’re pissing off Jack Bauer… now that would be almost suicidal!
While he’s no big fan of fast-food, Walski has to admit that McDonald’s does serve the best fast-food French Fries. Which are only tasty when they’re hot, though. Cold McD’s fries has this unique quality of tasting like flavored Styrofoam, and yes, their cold burgers like beef-flavored cardboard. Probably the same with those other fast-food pushers, too. Which will pose a problem for Air Asia if the two ever tie up – keeping the McD’s toasty.
You probably wouldn’t want to see…
Now, Everyone Can McPuke
… as their follow up campaign. A flying puke-fest is an interesting and novel proposition, but probably one that won’t really take off.
Another possibility… if sex workers can somehow unite (with permission from their respective mommies and pimps), they can actually franchise what they do, calling it McFuck. A simple and concise name, definitively explaining what they offer – fast-food sex. Wham, bang, and hold the mayo, please. Plus, it has the added advantage of sounding better, and less cumbersome, than Kentucky Fried Fornication.
And Menus! Walski can almost imagine what some of the interesting offerings their menu would have. Needless to say, everything on the menu is a happy meal. As with their food analogues, these can be had in-house, or to go – just call 1-800-MCFUCK.
- Chicken McFuck – this will be the most basic menu item, available in Regular, Spicy, Extra Spicy, and Cardiac Emergency flavors.
- Double Sleazeburger – this delicious dish is actually a rebranding of that very well known activity called a “threesome”. It can also be ordered with cheese… which is an assortment of enticing body oils and other pleasurable liquids.
- HawtCakesTM – these can be ordered in various quantities, depending on one’s appetite. This is one of the few items on the menu that are gender-specific. What’s offered here are model-grade girl hotties, dressed most succulently, and as an option, drenched in the best quality perfume and pancake syrup.
- HawtCakesTM with Sausage – this variant is specifically for those who take it whichever way, and comes with one (or more) hot-bod male.
- Prosperity Bugger – Walski will leave this to your imagination. Suffice it to say that it involves anal action, and pregnant people.
There are, of course, a lot more to choose from, but McFuck has explicitly warned Walski not to reveal too much. It would just give their official announcement a little less bang. Deflate their exciting roll out, in other words.
Walski’s just come up with another term – McPanic. Essentially, it’s when you have widespread, and totally unnecessary panic. Being that we’re still stuck in the days of swine and bourses, the easiest way to exemplify what the term means would be in relation to the current, and worrying, swine flu outbreak.
Incidentally, the WHO (as in World Health Organization, and not the classic rock band) has been reported to have upgraded their 6-scale pandemic preparedness plan, to level 5, as reported by Malaysiakini today.
The first death outside of Mexico has also been recorded, with one toddler (who was Mexican, by the way) succumbing to the virus, while visiting relatives in Texas (via the same report).
Prepared as we must be, however, is it a time to McPanic? Well, Egypt seems to think so.
Not surprisingly, the move has been criticized by health experts as being unnecessary and a waste of resources. It also raises another question in Walski’s mind: how are they going to properly dispose of 300,000 pig carcasses, so that it doesn’t become another health hazard?
The Egyptian action of McPanic proportions is apparently the same way the avian flu epidemic, which hit the country hard in 2003, was handled – via culling.
Fortunately for Malaysia, such drastic action has not been called for. Pigs reared here have so far been tested negative for the virus. What we should be more concerned about is to screen all passengers arriving in the country, particularly from North America. Malaysia Airlines was reported (by The Star) to have issued standard operating procedures to handle passengers in wake of this outbreak. It would be safe to assume that culling is probably not one of the procedures.
Similarly, screening of passengers arriving at the airport is being carried out, similar to what was done during the SARS outbreak.
And finally, a implication of the High Court reversal decision on McPolitics.
Actually, it’s all very simple – just rebrand anything that’s unsavory politically. Like calling corruption Money McPolitics – or it’s Bahasa Malaysia equivalent, Politik McWang. As long as it’s not called corruption, it’s all good.
And what about Crony? Re-label it as McCrony. Hey, if it sounds delicious, it can’t be bad, right? Walski will, however, leave it as a reader exercise to determine what McCrony with Cheese would be…
Well, it is unfortunate, but McTime is not a luxury that Walski has in McAbundance, and so it’s back to work for him. It’s a necessary evil – to make loads of McMoola so that he’s not forced to resort to having to survive on generally unpalatable, fast-food McCrap…