Wading neck-deep in the straits of dire

Technorati tags: Humor, Politics, Perak, Rajinikanth, Dire Straits

A rather intriguing headline from The Malaysian Insider caught Walski's attention earlier today.

Unlike what we've hearing from our own leaders, Singapore's PM, while acknowledging that things are bad, does it in a way that isn't insulting to one's intelligence. A stark contrast from the "Semua OK, Semua OK" statements in the last 3-4 months followed by "Alamak! AlamakI" panic stations right about now.

And technically, PM Lee Hsien Loong is absolutely right - geographically, Singapore is not in dire straits. It is actually at the end of the Malacca Straits. Or maybe even stating that it's in the Tebrau Straits might be half-way correct.

And a quick check with the last known band line-up... Mark Knopfler, John Illsley, Alan Clark, Guy Fletcher...

Ok folks, it is confirmed. Singapore is definitely not in Dire Straits. Unless you see something in the picture on the left that Walski can't.

And according to the sources that Walski checked online, Singapore never ever was, either.

But there is a group of people who apparently feel that they are in dire straits - and not the musical kind, either - BN's Perak Chief-Minister-in-limbo and his executive council, also in limbo.

According to another report from The Malaysian Insider, it appears as though the BN's lawyers are throwing every single possible legal implement they can think of to prevent the special session of the state legislature from sitting tomorrow.

Even that hallmark democratic principle - separation of powers - which usually prevents the courts from having jurisdiction over legislature, won't stop BN from trying their darndest to prevent the sitting.

And the latest turn of events, as a last ditch effort, they're locking down the State Secretariat Building tomorrow, in order to prevent an emergency sitting.

All we need now is Rajinikanth barreling down the road towards the secretariat gates in a beat up jeep, strapped with C4 (with some intense dance scenes at the Ipon train station thrown in), and we'll have us a bona fide Tamil box-office action movie on our hands...
(stranger than strange, truer than true, and more, in the full post)

Just as the explosive-laden jeep rams the gates, Rajnikanth does a triple sommersault, with a quadruple backflip, and two and a half twists (difficulty = 5.4), over the exploding gate, lands on his feet, but not before doing a stylo-tumble or three, and ushers in the assemblypersons into the compound.

The audience goes wild... roll credits... and then proceed to burn the cinema down because the ending wasn't happy enough.

As additional comic relief, maybe we can hire those goons who intimidated Karpal as extras, just to provide superhero Rajinikanth with some additional casualties.

That would be like a YouTube hit of the century... and then some. Oscars, even. Oh, hang on a sec - we need a theme song...

Mumbai Superstar

Click ► to play

Personally, something from Dire Straits would've been nice... but ok - now we're set!

Sorry folks, Walski knows that it's no laughing matter, but the situation in Perak has actually gotten that ridiculous. No harm in throwing in another busload of stupid into the mix... makes it more fun, don't ya think?

It would appear that the political chess game in the Silver State has upped several notches since Walski last wrote about it. And Walski also reckons it should be pretty obvious why BN is so desperate.

Recall that the MB and his ex-co in limbo are still banned from the assembly. That would mean if the emergency sitting were to go ahead, BN wouldn't have the majority of votes in that session.

The plan, of course, would be for the house to call for a dissolution, paving the way for state elections. Which, as most reasonable and rational people would agree, is the best way forward. Let the people of Perak decide whom they want to helm their state government.

But reasonable and rational probably doesn't jive with the Zambry School of Democracy... what more just weeks away from the UMNO General Assembly and elections, and Najib taking over as President of UMNO, hence becoming leader of BN, and hence becoming the next Prime Minister. Won't look good if the Perak coup falls apart in just a matter of weeks. One that was executed with him helming the Perak state UMNO liaison watchamcalit.

As if the guy didn't already have enough problems, huh?

Speaking of Dr. Zambry, as if things couldn't get any funnier, the man has called the emergency sitting of the state legislature a "threat to national security, particularly in Perak" (via Malaysiakini). Now, if that's not a sign of desperation, Walski doesn't know what is.

The prospect of Rajinikanth saving the day is becoming more and more plausible... how much more ridiculous can this whole situation get?

In the meantime, the riot police have cordoned off the Perak State Secretariat building, in light of the circular that came out, announcing that the main entrance to the building would be closed.

And apparently this was something that surprised even Zambry.

Zambry also appeared to be at a lost when presented with a state secretariat circular which stated that the state secretariat building would be closed to the public tomorrow.

"Who did it? It is not from me. It is from the state secretary... you have to ask him. I have nothing to do with it. Only now have I seen this," he said.
(source: Malaysiakini, subscription required)

If it wasn't done on Zambry's instructions, then who ordered the closure? Hmm... the dalca thickens... Yeah, yeah, we know... Zambry's not really running the state yet. It's pretty much operating on auto-pilot.

What transpires today, whatever happens, is definitely going to be interesting... whether or not Rajinikanth makes his heroic appearance, or not.

And it wouldn't surprise Walski one single bit if one day it were uncovered that Zambry and his crew in limbo turn out to have once been secret members of Dire Straits.

Because as of right now, it looks as though they wading neck deep in it...

Walski's political (and musical) hurt responsibility disclaimer footnote: No politicians were harmed during the making of this post. Any damage, either emotionally, to their egos, or political career has been solely and totally self-inflicted. Incidentally, the song "Mumbai Superstar" is by Ben's Bitches, and has been taken from their 2007 album, "Mamak Conspiracy". It has been used in this post without any consent from the boys whatsoever. But somehow Walski doesn't think that they will really mind...