One of the more surreal things Walski saw the night of March 8, and into the wee hours of Sunday, was the coverage of the General Elections on TV. Particularly on NTV7 - didn't bother to note down who the panelists were, but they were justifying why the sudden swing to the opposition, discussing the threat to the Malay Agenda, etc. Everything except that BN simply were being taught a painful lesson by the people. Okay, they did mention that, too, but at the same time still defending BN to no end.
In other words: Excuses, excuses, excuses...
So, with that in mind (and courtesy of an idea suggested by Alliedmartster during the result-watch), here are Walski's top ten excuses he thinks you're likely going to hear on why BN/UMNO did so badly (plus another list of those excuses that didn't quite make it to the top ten).
Top 10 Excuses why BN/UMNO did so badly in GE2008
10. Some idiot included Daniel Powter’s Bad Day on the BN Indoctrination iPods
9. Dead voters got on the wrong bus
8. Makkal Sakhti! much catchier than Hidup Melayu!
7. The keris is so 15th century – should’ve used M-16s instead
6. Fell asleep while waiting for Pak Lah to wake up
5. The Dead Voters Society’s last-minute boycott
4. Pos Malaysia lost the postal votes
3. Penang too overwhelmed by Jeff Ooi’s guitar solo
2. Denial, denial, denial – Semuanya OK!
And the number 1 excuse why BN/UMNO did so badly is....
(#1 excuse, and the reserve list, in the full post)
#1 - Honestly thought Malaysians’ unhappiness was just Opposition propaganda
Here are some of the other ones that didn't quite make the Top 10 list (in no particular order):
- Bomohs couldn’t conjure enough phantom voters
- Blame it on PUNDAK
- Stupid Mat Rempits terrorized the wrong supporters
- Datuk K’s moustache distracted ceramah-goers from Siti’s glamour
- Tun Dr. Mahathir and his big mouth
- Couldn’t find enough C4 to blow up opposition candidates
- EC simply wasn’t unfair enough
- Democracy sucks that way
- Those damn bloggers
- Flyer/banner typo caused people to believe FRU was performing
- Rosmah’s gravity field simply not strong enough to attract voters outside of Pekan
- It's all God's
Well, GE2008 is over, and the results speak for themselves. But this doesn't mean that Walski's work is over... Nay... it's just the beginning of a different phase. Politicians, regardless of which banner they stand under, are politicians, and it's the duty of all citizens to make sure they stick to the program. In other words, we need to remind them to stay focused to what they've been elected to do.
Regardless of the results, let's hope they leave the politicking aside, and focus on work. Today is the first work-day of a (hopefully) new and better Malaysia - okay, 2nd day for Perlis, Kedah, Kelantan, Terengganu and partly Johor. And let's hope those elected don't forget that they serve ALL Malaysians - not just those who support the party they were elected under.
Also, Walski realized that myAsylum, of late, has become a tad too serious... and for that, please accept Walski's apologies - we always need to look at the silly side of things occassionally. It helps us keep our sanity. Or, Walski's, at least...
And so, myAsylum, with this post, resumes it's offbeat wackiness... Sure, there will need to be some serious posts every now and again... but Walski offer won't any excuses for not keeping to the program... Heh heh...