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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Top 10: Michael Learns To Rock PAS Youth

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No, it’s not news that PAS Youth wants to ban the Michael Learns To Rock concert. Given a free hand, they’d probably like to ban a whole lot of other stuff, too. Anything that doesn’t jive with their we-hate-fun sensibilities.

But nevermind, PAS Jr. will be PAS Jr. Which is probably why daddy PAS remains an enigmatic animal, as superbly articulated by blogger Art Harun yesterday.

Behind every anomaly, however, lies a reason – in this case ten of them – why PAS Youth hate MLTR. This Top Ten came about from random tweets that Walski had made over the past couple of days, and thought he’d compile it.

And so, without further ado, from ten downwards, here are myAsylum's Top Ten Reasons Why PAS Youth Hates MLTR
(the Top Ten list, and more, in the full post)

10. 25 Minutes is too damn long
At most, on average, they last only 6 minutes – tops. And the worse documented case, 25 seconds.

9. They're Danish
... and therefore evil. Just like butter cookies.

8. PAS Youth believe MLTR is a rip-off of their own defunct music project – Abu Learns To Nasyid
ALTN just didn't have that Lebai Effect they’d very much hoped for...

7. Offended by the word "Rock" in MLTR
Rock? PAS Youth still has problems getting past sand... okay, they won Permatang Pasir, but that's a different story.

6. MLTR refused to write the theme song for Hassan Ali's new moral police squad
Somehow, going on beer raids with Sleeping Child-like melodies as an attack theme is just plain wrong.

5. Neither Raihan nor Rabbani allowed to open
Too much Lebai Effect, in this case. Oh, and MLTR cited artistic differences, too... infidels!

4. MLTR refused to come earlier and help campaign in Permatang Pasir
Grueling tour schedule was simply not good enough an excuse for PAS Youth...

3. Can't stand the fact MLTR looks more morose than they do

... then again you’d look just as depressed, too, if you knew your songs were being butchered daily in the karaoke abattoirs.

2. "Girl, you lookin' fine... TAKBIR!" not used in any of MLTR’s lyrics
You gotta have at least one good Muslim pickup line to qualify as PAS Youth kosher...

And the Number 1 reason why PAS Youth hates Michael Learns To Rock is:
MLTR appeals to too way many beer-drinkin' Muslim girls for PAS Youth's liking
...makes it difficult for PAS Youth to go around making sure all of 'em get the whipping they deserve...

So now you know… At the rate we’re going, it wouldn’t surprise Walski one bit if the next concert that manages to book in Malaysia carries the “for non-Muslims only” label…

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