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Friday, June 26, 2009

A foot

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In all likelihood, no matter how shoddy an English language education you got in school, you probably would have heard that clichéd saying.

And yes, it is originally that foot...

If you actually haven’t, then the teaching of English is in even worse shape than Walski originally thought.

On top of that, there’s another saying: something is a foot. And since something can literally be anything, it means that our entire existence boils down to 12 inches. 
(12 inches of separation to rule the world, and more, in the full post)

Why? Simply because, 12 inches is a foot. And since anything in infinitely large numbers is everything. Our entire friggin’ universe – 12 inches.

If you’re trying to make sense out of all this, Walski’s advice is DON’T. Because it’ll never add up to what you hope it adds up to. It’ll just add up to 12 inches.

Because something is a foot. Something, like a standard ruler – 12 inches. Even those idiotic rulers with only metric scales on them. Centimeters on one edge, and millimeters on the other. Even if the ruler is physically a foot long. 12 inches, in other words. And what sense does a 12-inch long metric ruler make? Go figure…

Like, have you ever wondered if those foot-long hot dogs actually measure 12 inches? Or do you just take it for granted that they are, because measuring them would be too much trouble. But then, by default, if it were too much trouble, and since trouble is a foot… Yup – 12 inches, buddy boy. Case closed… and Walski would like fries with that, please.

Think of this post as one big tangent. But tangents, no matter how big, will always be 12 inches. If you’ve read enough posts on this blog, you’ll know that Walski is prone to go on tangents sometimes. And tangents can be a problem because it takes your mind away from the main point, discussion, or argument. Therefore, tangents to an argument can be trouble. Uh-oh… you got it… 12 inches. And it follows from there that tangents are a foot.

Exactly like that “unity talks is an Islamic duty" statement by Najib, which some say is contradictory to, and becomes a tangent from, the concept of 1Malaysia. And since tangents are always 12 inches, they are trouble.

Because trouble is a foot. Especially the kind that ends up in people’s mouths. Those are really trouble.

Walski hopes all this makes sense to you, because he sure as hell hasn’t a clue what the heck is going on anymore.

Trouble. Is a foot. Just like Something. Each.

And if you ain’t packing at least a full 12 inches, the best advice Walski can give you is to shut the hell up.

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