The Miracle of Immaculate Sodomization
Technorati tags: Miracles, Immaculate Sodomization, Politics, Police
Do you believe in miracles? Miracles come in all shapes, forms and sizes. Some are obvious, while many are not. One miracle - or at least Walski considers it one - is the Miracle of Immaculate Sodomization.
Immaculate Sodomization - the act of buggering without actually making physical contact, or leaving worm-signs that such an act actually took place. The miracle part? That many believe it actually happened, despite signs indicating the contrary.
The police investigation, it seems, has been completed, and the decision of whether to formally press charges lies with the Attorney General's Chamber - without any involvement of the actual Attorney General. Or so says Syed Hamid. Only his chamber. And presumably his chamber maids.
Unless, of course, we're stuck in some Transformers-like alternate reality where buildings can actually do stuff.
It seems a lot of people do believe in this miracle - particularly those who are convinced Anwar Ibrahim is guilty of sodomizing his aide. No matter what.
Every micracle has its proponents - or apostles, as Walski prefers to call them. The miracle of Immaculate Sozomization is no different. One of the chief apostles is none other than Uncle Pet - the "uncle" of the alleged victim, Saiful Bukhari Azlan.
Not to be confused, of course, with Raja Pet, Malaysia's leading whistle-blower. But Raja Pet also has a role in this miracle. More on that later. For now, it's Uncle Pet we'll spotlight for a bit.
In a recent Malaysiakini news report, the apostle uncle who only wishes to be know as Uncle Pet rubbished the leaked medical report stating that his nephew showed no signs of sodomy.
"That is just bull****. They just want to exaggerate the story and divert attention. The important thing is Anwar (Ibrahim) is doing that thing and it's happened.
(source: Malaysiakini, subscription required, quoting Uncle Pet)
Spoken like a true apostle... so sure is he that his "nephew" was sodomized. Regardless of what really happened, or who is really getting screwed in the process of the entire charade.
But at least Uncle Pet got one thing right - there certainly is a lot of bullshit projectiling around...
(uncles, uncle fuckers, and more, in the full post)
Uncle Pet, of course, has his own beef with Raja Pet. Earlier, the latter somewhat snidely suggested the possibility that it was the former's DNA that was found - instead of Uncle Anwar's - hence preventing charges to be immediately levelled against the embattled PKR supremo.
Incidentally, reading that Malaysia Today post immediately brought to mind this South Park classic...
In truth, we don't know for sure who fucked whose butt, or if there was any uncle fucking going on to begin with. But miracles do happen. In particular, the miracle of Immaculate Sodomization. Because some people are firm believers that the act occurred. Not once, not thrice, but six times, apparently.
And as is standard operating procedure, whenever there's a case implicating an opposition politician, the police are quick to conduct an investigation. But do the Malaysian people even trust that the police can, and will, conduct a thorough, and unbiased investigation? Well, Walski will let the recently concluded poll speak for itself.
The "Nays" have it... by a huge margin
The answer, it seems, is a resounding No.
But still, it's best to leave due process to how due process processes itself, Walski reckons. But as Haris Ibrahim has correctly wondered, now that the investigation has been completed, is justice gonna be served, or is it simply going to be a case of No Further Action (NFA)? Logically, one of two things must happen - either Anwar gets charged unlawful, or Saiful gets charged for making a false report.
Whether charge or NFA, Walski thinks that this entire episode should be put to rest - pronto. Otherwise, the court of public opinion shall continue to remain in session, with all kinds of speculation and guesswork spewed out into cyberspace, after leaving the realm of coffeeshops. And Walski, too, promises to avoid dwelling on it as well after this post. Unless something related that's really, really worth dwelling upon surfaces.
Be that as it may, the nation now awaits the outcome of the recently completed investigation, and the decision of the AG's chamber on what to do with the case. Whatever that decision may be.
In the meantime, some of us (particularly those with political motives) will still insist that they believe in this miracle, that despite no clear evidence revealed, Anwar is guilty, as not-yet charged. Most, however, believe that he's not, and that this entire episode is a result of trying to prevent Anwar Ibrahim's political aspirations from gaining any more momentum than it already has.
Come to think of it, those who'd prefer that the PKR numero uno be guilty are probably of the UMNO/BN persuasion. They've got enough internal problems to worry about at this juncture, as it is, with the pleaded for power-transition not going down the acceptance gullet as smoothly as hoped.
Anwar, however, remains unperturbed, having announced his intention to contest for the Permatang Pauh parliamentary seat, recently vacated by his wife. Resiliant ol' feller...
So, until and unless something happens to stop Anwar in his political tracks, all the UMNO/BN folk have is to believe in miracles... like the Miracle of Immaculate Sodomization.
Walski's disjointed apology footnote: If the post seems a little disjointed at parts, it's the result of it being written and edited over the span of a week. Not really a good thing because the train of thought gets derailed when you do that. Couldn't help it though... work, and all that un-fun stuff related to working life...
