Fast Food Syndrome

Technorati tags: Satire, Fast Food, Social Stupidiy, Social Stupidiy, Politics, Knee Jerk

We want instant results. And we want them yesterday.

Easy and lazy solutions are rarely effective measures to address problems, real or imaginery, but still these are exactly the type of solutions that get put into place time after time.

How to promote a healthy lifestyle? Ban fast food ads, and the knee-jerk support structure that immediately follows - in a fashion best described by the Bahasa Malaysia idiom membabi buta. Or in a "blind-pig fashion", literally translated. Appropriate perhaps for the recently ushered in Lunar New Year.

But is banning fast food ads going to change us into a society that practices a healthy lifestyle overnight? If you think it does, then you certainly are delusional. Seriously fucked in the head, Walski thinks.

Why stop at banning the ads? Why not ban fast foods altogether? And not just the evil-West variety of hamburgers, fries, greasy fried chicken, pizzas... all types of fast foods, including the roti canai - the empty calorie favorite of Malaysians, young and old of all walks of life. And definitely the more deadly canai-mate - the teh tarik.

Speaking of teh tarik. What should be banned off the face of the planet is the uber evil condemned condensed milk. One part dairy milk, 56 parts sugar. Now that's really worth getting hyperactively worked up over. If anything, banning this scourge of culinery expediency is probably going to promote healthier eating/drinking habits a lot more than the banning of McAdverts or Krinkly Fried billboards.

Aisehman probably has hit the nail on the head on why we go for fast foods. We simply don't have the time to eat right. Especially the urban folk. You're either stuck in traffic on your way to work, at work, stuck in traffic coming back from work... 75% of our time is at work or trying to get to/from there, and what's left of the remaining 25% has to be allocated to some sleep at the end of the day. Quality life? Yeah, as much quality as you get nutrition in a can of condemned condensed milk.
(more faster than fast food solutions in the full post)

But the culture of fast-food solution dumping doesn't stop at foods. Nosiree.

The solution to why the bureaucratic machinery is slow in delivering the goods to the people? More bureaucracy, by forming a task force to study why bureaucracy is so bureaucratic. And if that task force doesn't deliver the goods in 6 months? Probably institute another Royal inquiry into the failure of the task force. Fast food solution with fast food expectations. Want an extra helping of lies with that?

Bureaucracy, as they say, makes the world go round. In circles, usually.

In another Star news article (hat-tip to Howsy), Terengganu will implement snoop squads to check "vice". And they're recruiting and training ordinary people to do the snooping for 'em. Walski calls this invasion of privacy. But of course, for these nutcases, the idea of privacy doesn't appear in their vocabulary, and probably should be another thing banned. It's the mentality of everybody is guilty until proven guilty. Nobody is innocent, and everybody should be spied on.

“Mat Skoding” will be part of the voluntary squad, under the guidance of state religious advisors, acting as vigilantes here.

State Islam Hadhari and Welfare Committee chairman Datuk Rosol Wahid said: “Some of these ‘spies’ could be waitresses or even janitors at hotels acting as auxiliary undercover agents for our religious department.”
(source: The Star)

Too politically unpopular for state religious personnel to act as vigilantes? Fast-food solution: get somebody else to do your dirty work, and probably the blame, when something goes wrong. Not if, but when.

In other words, Terengganu may no longer be a safe place to be in, unless you are armed with your marriage certificate. You never know... that waitress serving you.. SPY! Hotel check-in clerk... SPY! Housekeeping person... SPY!

Funny part is that it isn't even the Puny Arab-wannabee Slimeballs promoting this, but the good 'ol BannaNa Republican sponsored Hadharites. Probably another fast-food knee-jerk reactionary plan since the equally (if not more) ludicrous suggestion of implementing chastity belts to prevent the rising incidences of rapes and sexual assault. And belts for females only, of course - since females are the root of all evil after all. Abu Hassan Din Al-Hafiz, the proposer of this rash solution, has since done a turnaround to say that it was all a joke. Yeah, right... believe that, you'll also believe that there are visual physical differences between married and unmarried couples.

“Accurate details are required for the enforcement officers to act, otherwise they would be pouncing on married couples,” he said.

Rosol said the “spies” would keep surveillance at parks and secluded areas to nab dating couples intending to engage in sex.
(source: The Star)

Holding hands? SEX!! Tangkap! Tangkap!

Sitting closer than one meter to each other? SEX!! Tangkap! Tangkap!

Walking in the park in clothing that doesn't cover up every single bit of the body except the face and hands? SLUT! SEX!! Tangkap! Tangkap!

And you wonder why you see more and more same-sex couples these days? Logical workaround to a mind so warped up over close proximity between the sexes. They legally can't nab you if you're a girl-girl or boy-boy couple.

Better yet, why not ban sex altogether? Since these numbskulls find the prospect of sex so distateful, and for them the real purpose of marriage is, after all, breeding, why not cut to the chaste chase and get everyone to reproduce in vitro?

So the problem, boys and girls, is a fast-food mentality in wanting to get things done for political expediency. It doesn't matter that the solutions are not workable, or worse, give rise to other unforeseen problems in the future, for which more fast-food solutions are implemented.

Hey, let's ban everything. Build more jails for the offenders. "But what am I being arrested for?"

"For living", the men in flowing straightjackets say.

Or, better yet, institutionalized death-squad style execution of every citizen by the age of 21. No people, no complaints, no problems. If life is to be made so unbearable to live, why not just end it all? It's the solution to end all problems once and for all. End of story.

Crush. Kill. Destroy.

Now, if that isn't a final solution, Walski doesn't know what is.

But in the meantime, enjoy the silly insanity of respectable people proposing less than respectable future problems as remedies for current problems. More problems tomorrow means more opportunity to introduce even more further down the road future problems.

That, after all is the fast-food way of doing things. And you don't need advertisements of any kind to remind you of this fast-food nutritious fact.

Walski's important footnote: There is a reason why one of the Technorati tags for this post says Satire... Walski is against any form of violence. But Walski also cannot tolerate stupidity, regardless of whom the committers of stupidity may be...