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Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Top 10 Reasons Why Malaysia is NOT Egypt

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myAsylum's Top 10 List

It's no secret that this Top 10 List has been inspired by Marina Mahathir's latest post, and by what senior lawyer Tommy Thomas wrote recently.

And despite the no-brainer that Malaysia is not Egypt, certain individuals in positions of power – and some formerly in positions of power – insist that Bersih 3.0 was an attempt to “occupy Dataran Merdeka” until the government in power is expelled.

Through free and fair elections maybe, but certainly not through a revolting revolution.

And Walski certainly doesn’t remember anyone attending Bersih 3.0 armed with their wardrobe or a supply of Maggi Mee to last a lifetime.

Seems like some people are in a state of desperate exasperation. Or exasperating desperation. Whatever…

So, once and for all, in hopes that certain numbskull individuals are finally convinced, here are the Top 10 reasons why Malaysia is NOT Egypt…  
(the Top 10 list, and more, in the full post)

10. Malaysia is NOT in Africa
Despite how some people like to compare us to Zimbabwe (and how we seem to love Robert Mugabe), and a stroll down some parts of KL reminds one of Abuja, Malaysia is NOT in Africa. Wrong continent, mate – failed geography much? 

9. Egypt has The Nile
On the other hand, what we have is denial. Lots of it. But that still doesn't make us Egypt.

8. "Malaysia" and "Egypt" only have ONE letter in common 
And that alphabet is the letter “y”. Yes, Why indeed. Why, Why, Why? So many questions left unanswered…

7. Egypt actually has a Spring
Despite the changing weather patterns, Malaysia does NOT have a season called Spring. Local fashion designers kindly take note. The only seasons we have are Wet, Dry and Durian. With the proliferation of Thai imports, however, even the latter is questionable these days. Any mention of a Malaysian Spring can only logically refer to mattresses. And there ain’t anything revolutionary about mattresses.

6. Egypt has pyramids
The closest we come here in Malaysia is pyramid schemes. But since these don't come with sarcophagi or mummies, they don't really count.

5. Camels are NOT indigenous to Malaysia
And on a similar note, the Tapir is not indigenous to Egypt. Incidentally, Wikipedia indicates that the Tapir is a browsing mammal, although it neglects to mention which browser is preferred. Personally, Walski, like many other Malaysians, prefers Chrome. As do many Egyptians, most likely. But that doesn’t make Malaysia anything like Egypt.

4. Egypt has a much higher FIFA ranking
The current FIFA World Ranking lists Egypt at #55, while Malaysia sits at an inglorious #156. No comparison whatsoever. There are at least 6 Egyptian footballers who have been in a Barclay’s Premier League team between 2004 and the present. Malaysian players? ‘Nuff said.

3. Sandstorms are common in Egypt
Whereas in Malaysia, sand creates political storms. Mostly in teacups. And sometimes, teacups in Selangor.

2. In Malaysia vehicular traffic travels on the left
While in Egypt, it's more a guessing adventure, so Walski's told. Egyptians will probably say we drive on the wrong side of the road, since they drive on the right side. Sometimes on the left, or center, too, to avoid camels, and other stray animals. In Malaysia, it’s only the stray mat rempit that we usually have to worry about.

And last, but certainly not least….

1. Malaysians DON'T walk like Egyptians (usually)

So there you have it, 10 reasons why we're nothing like Egypt.

Now to convince the numbnuts in power to stop the revolting notion that Malaysians are planning to revolt just like the Egyptians did. Not to say Egyptians are revolting, mind you. But they did revolt.

Come to think about it, all they wanted was to stop being trodden upon. And their leaders-that-were saw said desire to be revolting…. Maybe that’s just a disease of those in power for far too long. Who knows.

All we peaceful Malaysians want is free and fair elections. Any toppling shall only be done through the ballot box, and the ballot box alone.

Or is that desire revolting as well?