Technorati tags: Humor, Satire, The Onion, 500ft Osama
UPDATE: Giant Bin Laden Destroys New York, Washington |
500-Foot Terrorist Emerges From Sea To Wreak Havoc On U.S. |
Just weeks after his body was buried at sea, Osama bin Laden burst forth from the ocean depths early this morning, rising to the monstrous height of 500 feet and rapidly making his way down the East Coast of the United States in a rampage expected to leave hundreds of thousands dead and easily eclipse 9/11 as the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history. |
Currently, much of New York City and Washington, D.C., including the Empire State Building, the White House, and the Capitol Building, lay in ruins, with overwhelmed rescue crews struggling to assist a country ravaged by the gigantic, irate al-Qaeda leader. |
"Our nation faces its gravest challenge yet," a visibly shaken President Obama said, interrupting his prepared remarks to both houses of British Parliament in London. "I cannot say that we will prevail, only that we will fight to the last." "May God help us all," Obama added as the walls and ceiling shook around him. |
The first stirrings of bin Laden were felt in the form of early morning tremors off the Atlantic Coast that reportedly rattled windows as far inland as Ohio. Shortly thereafter, stunned witnesses from a nearby fishing vessel reported that bin Laden, in full robes and with a beard described as "at least 100 feet long," suddenly rose from beneath the water. Read more at www.theonion.com |