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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Guest Quiz: How Malaysian Are You?

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This post comes courtesy of regular reader brighteyes, who left this delightful little quiz, to determine "How Malaysian Are You?" Not to be confused with the other degree-of-Malaysianness quiz that's been quite popular.

How Malaysian Are You?
(answer this quiz)

Question 1. A bunch of youths are performing illegal stunts on the road in addition to their dangerous driving. Many have been killed, including innocent road users who happened to be there at the wrong place and time. What is the solution?
A) Crack down on these yobs with the full force of the law and increase traffic police patrols.
B) Legalize hunting these road menaces. Use of firearms allowed. No bag limit.
C) Try to bring these gangs into your political party. Use Newspeak and rebrand their name to sound more successful/"cemerlang".

Question 2. As local councillor, your plans with the budget is to:
A) Spend it on road repair and drainage.
B) Spend it to lobby/build greater police presence. Snatch thefts & muggings are getting more common...
C) Build more gigantic metal birds in the middle of a sterile concrete & tile park. Or put clock towers everywhere. Its for tourism, dumbass!

Question 3. An MP has been suspected of interfering with Customs action against a company that upon further investigation, belongs to him. As Prime Minister, what do you do?
A) Order an ACA investigation on him.
B) Ask Customs if they have any special discounts on their latest Beemers.
C) Say nothing... "Hey, is that a pink elephant over there?"

(more questions in the full post)

Question 4. You are browsing over CD titles and you come across Death Cab For Cutie's latest album (which isn't as good as the previous ones). You...
A) Buy it, listen, and write a review on your blog, giving it 7.5 of 10.
B) Download the album later on BitTorrent with your lazer fast Streamyx.
C) Label it a Black Metal band & write about the resurgance of Black Metal & Emo in your Hairan Metro/Mastika/Bacaria column

Question 5. A local insurance agency has warned its employees not to extend seasons wishes to customers of another religion. What do you do?
A) Tell your agent you're switching to ING. When he says you're going to hell for that, you sarcasticly reply that 'at least I'll meet Kurt Cobain in person'.
C) Condemn those protesting heathens for not knowing their place in this country.

Question 6. Illegal moneylenders are posting their services everywhere. People have been hurt or killed for being unable to repay these people. As IGP of the PDRM, you...
A) Plan a massive sting operation. Detectives pose as borrowers & the Force nabs the Ah Longs when they threaten the borrower for not paying back.
B) Call the numbers from a public phone and make prank calls. (Hard: finding a working payphone. Harder: finding a working AND clean payphone)
C) Someone put a poster for the Freedom Film Fest amongst those stickers. Must be subversive. Send a SB officer there. What did you say about Ah Longs again?

Question 7. Turtles are becoming extinct in Malaysia. Their numbers are dwindling day by day and once plentiful on nesting beaches, you'll be lucky to see one today. To solve this:
A) Declare the nesting areas as Protected Areas with Perhilitan ranger patrols.
B) Summon more Ziggurats!
C) Against all common sense... legalize the gathering of turtle eggs.

Thanks very much, brighteyes! Walski cannot wait till you start your own blog... and you're always welcome to guest at myAsylum any 'ol time...