Youdecide

Technorati tags: Teoh Beng Hock, Humor, Coroner's Inquiry, Royal Commission of Inquiry

Earlier this week, the much awaited verdict on how Teoh Beng Hock died was delivered. The nation would know once and for all whether Teoh took his own life, or his death was a case of murder. And at least, in one small aspect of our troubled and often convoluted minds, we would finally be at peace, and that there would be closure.

Right?

Well, apparently not. The coroner’s verdict, in a nutshell: it was inconclusivicide. That’s Walski’s assessment anyway. But if you’re one of those humorless types, the good people at Loyarburok.com have put together a more serious summary of the verdict.

And after all these long months of drama, the wacky theory of self-strangulation (via Tony Pua’s blog), and an assortment of court theatrics, we’re pretty much back to square one. We still don’t know for sure.

But both homicide AND suicide have been ruled out. In layperson’s terms, he didn’t take his own life, nor did someone do it for him. Not sure about TBH, but it seems that the Coroner’s Court certainly was a victim of cantdecide, that well known mind killer.

So, what the heck really caused Teoh’s untimely death?
(the many possible “cides”, and more, in the full post)

Yes, smart ass, we know that he fell off the tower block of Plaza Masalam, which was the proverbial trigger that killed the guy. So, was it gravitycide? Obviously, the answer to that is yes. Any object in free fall accelerates at 9.8 meters/sec². Unless you’re on a different planet. In which case, Walski’s glad that you get Earth Internet access there, and can actually read this.

But gravitycide is merely the smoking gun. Gravity itself holds no grudges. What we’re more interested to know is whatcausedTeohtofallcide – who or what used gravity to off Teoh.

To the best of Walski’s knowledge, Plaza Masalam is not one of those hyperactive paranormal activity hotspots. Some might opine that the way MACC operates is in itself paranormal activity, but let’s leave that speculation simply at that.

That said, ghosticide could possibly explain how Teoh, at the time presumably bruised and somewhat battered, could have been magically been transported to a big enough window to be thrown out of. Apparently, the window of the MACC office (on the 14th floor) right above where Teoh’s body was found was also ruled out as being the exit point.

Walski wonders what Uncle Seekers would have to say about this ghosticide theory. If he can get time off from his new flame, that is.

So, what now? With the verdict in this ongoing mysterycide being open-ended, at least in the foreseeable future, it looks very like that a Royal Commission of Inquiry will very soon be called. Whether or not this RCI will find anything out we don’t already know is another open ended question. What we can be sure of is that, like the previous recent RCIs, it is likely to be another prolonged wasteoftimeandresourcecide.

The family of Teoh Beng Hock, not surprisingly, is disappointed with the verdict. But Walski thinks that they can at least take solace in the fact that suicide has been ruled out. The guy had everything to live for – marriage in a few days, and a baby on the way – when his body was found.

In the meantime, Walski also thinks that the Coroner’s Court has inadvertently given a conclusive verdict. And the verdict?

Death by youdecide.

Potential Uproar Circumvention Post Footnote: Walski hopes that no one misconstrues this post to be making light of the memory of Teoh Beng Hock. It doesn’t. What it does poke funny holes in is the idea that the system of justice we have is perfect. Or sometimes even believable. In the matter of TBH’s unntilmely death, the truth is still out there somewhere.

When or where that truth will be found is something Walski dare not predicticide…