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Monday, June 07, 2010

Poll Position - IbrahimAli's in Zombieland

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Remember the most recent poll here at myAsylum?

Image hosting by Photobucket To refresh your short memory, it was a seemingly frivolous one, asking the question of what you thought would become of Perkasa’s Ibrahim Ali in the unlikely event of a zombie holocaust.

Well, the results are in, and after careful tabulation, the majority of you chose Lunch as the most likely outcome.

What you probably didn’t know is that all three choices were plausible. And the choices available were carefully crafted after long-ish consideration.

The zombie movie genre happens to be one of Walski’s favorites. Especially the ones that were made with dark humor overtones, for example, Shaun of the Dead, and more recently, Zombieland.

When creating polls, and relating them to zombies, politicians, or in this case, both, Rule #2 is to Disguise Plausibility.

And as silly as the choices may have seemed on the surface, Walski made sure that each choice had a plausibility factor… and there actually was more forethought to coming up with the 3 choices of outcomes than meets the eye. 
(obligatory movie mock-up poster, and more analysis, in the full post)

So, the most obvious choice – Lunch – was the one 63% of you chose. Obvious, because of what Ibrahim Ali has been championing in recent times – the perpetual protection of Malay “rights” vis-√†-vis the Federal Constitution. In fact, there are no Malay rights per se, but special position of the Malays and indigenous people of Sabah and Sarawak. Facts, however don’t stop Ibrahim Ali from championing his cause.

Because of what he’s been championing – translating to the perpetual “protection” of everything and anything ‘Malay’ – and in the process, giving the impression that the world owes the Malays a living, Lunch became obvious because in a highly survival-competitive environment like a zombie holocaust, he simply wouldn’t be able to survive. Walski’s not entirely sure how fast Ibrahim Ali can run, but his guess is not very fast. Or at least fast enough to out-maneuver a horde of flesh-thirsty zombies.

When talking about the improbable combination of not-very-likable politicians and zombies, Rule #7 is the Obligatory Movie Mock-up Poster.

Obligatory movie mock-up poster - "IbrahimAli's in Zombieland", image hostiing by PhotobucketSee post footnote for image credits

Okay, Walski’s done better ones in the past, admittedly, but he really didn’t want to spend too much time on this one. Nevertheless, Rule #7 must be observed.

So, what of the other choices?

23% of you chose Zombie as the likely outcome. This choice, to Walski, represents maintaining the status quo. Which, in a zombie holocaust translates to becoming a zombie. The majority.

Wanting to be a part of the majority happens to be a trait that many latter-day Malay nationalists seem to have. Having a majority voice, to them, translates to being given the right to see and do things their way, at the expense of minority voices.

Walski’s not entirely sure if you saw the choice of Zombie in this light, or not, but that’s the idea he had in putting it up there for your selection pleasure. Though, zombies in any kind of light aren’t exactly the most pleasant things to gaze your eyes on.

If you’ve watched Zombieland, you’ll recall the Bill Murray character (the actor playing himself), who only pretended to be a zombie, for the sake of survival, and boredom prevention. Similarly, that may be a case with Ibrahim Ali – he might just pretend to be a zombie.

Just like how he’s pretending to champion something beneficial in real life. Unless, of course, if you think that championing for people to remain stuck in a subsidy mentality paradigm, and believing the world owes you a living, is a good thing – then yeah, he’s doing a bang up job.

Finally, the seemingly unlikely choice of Survivor, which 14% of you saw fit to choose. Blogger friend Ktemoc was one of the first to choose this one, as he’d admitted to Walski. Wise man.

In real life, Ibrahim Ali is a political survivor, if you’re acquainted with his checkered career. The derogatory nickname of Katak (frog, in Bahasa Malaysia) is quite well deserved, being that he’s jumped from one political camp to another, and finally jumping into the realm of being an independent.

In zombieland, he’d quite likely survive, too, most likely by pretending to be a zombie, like Bill Murray did in the movie. He can be quite persuasive, it would seem. Ibrahim Ali that is, not Bill Murray.

Rule #25 when relating politicians to zombies: Never underestimate the power of a bad idea.

In real life, Ibrahim Ali has (somehow) managed to influence a seemingly large number of Malays to believe that they are in need of perpetual protection from the real world. And that the rest of the world has to accommodate their malaise.

Market economy? Bad for the Malays. Economic reform, so that Malaysia doesn’t one day become bankrupt? Bad for the Malays. Competition? Bad for the Malays.

Ibrahim Ali? Great for the Malays, in the same way a zombie holocaust would be beneficial to mankind. Go figure.

That being the case, how difficult could it then be to fool a horde of mindless zombies? Probably not very. For a while, at least, until some idiot survivor mistakes him for one of the undead, and whacks him off.

So you see, all three are plausible eventualities. Just like Walski told you earlier. And now you know why.

Walski’s borrowed image attribution footnote: Because he wanted to get this post out as soon as he could, Walski resorted to using images created by other people to put together the movie mock up poster. The background image was taken from the final furlong, adventures of a year three student, entitled “Zombie Dawn”. The image of Froggy King Ibrahim Ali was taken from here, but Walski believes it originated from Malaysiakini. And as far as the post title is concerned, it’s inspired by a film Walski recently watched – but he’s not telling you which one. Same with the rules bit (but different movie). Any guesses? 

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