WTF: Datuk Shah Rukh Khan?

Technorati tags: Humor, WTF, Shah Rukh Khan, Melaka, Datuk

Updated @ 10:12pm: Some other theories from across the bloggerhood at the end of the post...

Okay, okay, so Walski got this bit of totally worthless news from Utusan - Malaysia's most biased newspaper in existence. So sue him... Walski monitors what garbage the piece of shit paper puts out, and occassionally - apart from the continued Hindraf bashing - you get gems like this (translation by myAsylum).

Pelakon terkenal Bollywood, Shah Rukh Khan merupakan antara penerima Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM) sempena hari jadi Yang Dipertua Negeri Melaka, Tun Mohd. Khalil Yaakob ke-70, esok.

Dengan penganugerahan darjah DMSM itu, Shah Rukh Khan akan bergelar Datuk.

Well known Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan is among the recipients of the Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka (DMSM), on the occassion of The Governor of Melaka, Tun Mohd Khalil Yaakob's 70th birthday tomorrow.

With conference of the DMSM award, Shah Rukh Khan will be entitled to the honorific of Datuk.
(source: Utusan Online)

You must be wondering why Walski's interest in this non-news, which in Utusan's true style of bullshit journalism, doesn't go as far as to tell what the famous Bollywood star has done for Melaka to deserve the Datuk-ship. Well, truth be told, he has a theory to share with you folks.

As you may or may not know, the crowded pool of UMNO VP hopefuls includes Datuk Mohd Ali Rustam, Chief Minister of Melaka. Is this possibly an attempt to boost his popularity within the UMNO party voters? A kind of a twisted vote-buying exercise, perhaps?

Or is it some kind of Malaysian Indian appeasement exercise?

Seriously, why the fuck Shah Rukh Khan?
(inexplicable are the possible reasons, and more, in the full post)

Okay, so he's a big time actor who's gotten a shitload of awards from all and sundry. What on earth does he have to do with Melaka?

Let Walski make it crystal clear that this is not, by the way, a Shah Rukh Khan bashing post. Walski may not be a fan of Bollywood films, or care that there actually is a big difference between Shah Rukh and Genghiz, but what has Shah Rukh done for Melaka, or Ali Rustam, to deserve the award?

Siti Nurhaliza, Walski can (almost) understand. But Shah Rukh Khan?

Surely it can't be that it's because almost all the Sultans of ancient Malacca had "Shah" as part of their names, which is the closest thing to a plausible explanation Walski could find.

Which, as explanations go, isn't a good one at all...

Okay, so Bollywood is big with many Malaysians of various IQ levels across all DNA pools, and as hunks go, Shah Rukh's a pretty good looking one. But is making Shah Rukh Khan a Datuk going to help rally Wall Street or the KLSE to a glorious Bollywood-style rebound? Walski thinks... NOT.

Samy Vellu may probably come out and make an idiotic statement of how the conferring the award shows that Indian are treated well under the BN government. Apart from the MIC die-hards, no one will probably give a shit...

Which brings us back to the question: why is Shah Rukh Khan getting a Datuk-ship? Anyone will agree that even RPK would be more deserving.

Anyone care to enlighten Walski?

Update: Blogger Hasbullah Pit has a theory of his own... go read it. Funny stuff... Still, Walski's not convinced. Next...