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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Who Wants To Be Malaysia's Most Hated?

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Vote now! Montage image hosting by PhotobucketIf the post title sounds like the name of a new game show, it could very well be. Except that some of the finalists selected by the Supreme Marketing Council of myAsylum probably don't have the balls to participate if it were a game show. 

So, the next best thing is to do an opinion poll and select Malaysia's Most Hated. On their behalf. And some of them really do deserve to have things done behind their backs... do unto others, and shit like that, you know?

So, why this poll now?

Well, truth be told, Malaysians at this very moment are not happy with the way things are. Not the slightest bit. In fact, Walski will bet his bottom dollar that folks are pretty pissed off and agitated. One way or another. Even if you're one of those die-hard UMNO fucks, whose party hangs flimsily on the balance of renewal vs. oblivion.

As always, the new poll can be found on the sidebar, to your right. Alternatively, you can click on the rouge's gallery, which will take you to the poll site. This poll will be open for the rest of September, closing at midnight (thereabouts) on the 30th.

In exasperating times such as these, Walski can't think of a better, safer, and less polluting way to vent off steam, than to create this opinion poll. Keeps his sanity (and blood pressure) in check. Plus, it gives you a chance to vote, referendum-style - since the powers that be don't have the balls to hold referendums. Think of it as a small public service by Walski and myAsylum.

So let's have a quick introduction to the 10 finalists in myAsylum's latest and greatest game show opinion poll, Who Wants To Be Malaysia's Most Hated?

Drum roll, please...
(meet the contestants, and more, in the full post)

Starting from the top, right hand corner, is a guy who we all know (but not necessarily love) - regardless of whether he's snoozing or awake - da PM himself, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi. You gotta hand it to the guy, gutsily hanging on by the skin of his snooze-drool, caught between his party, UMNO, and a hard place. Everyone, it seems wants his ass out of the executive, sooner than the 2010 exit that's been so much talked about. He's also the so-called imam (leader) of Islam Hadhari - or Civilizational Islam. Great notion, conceptually, but the actions of his government of late probably fall way short of what most would consider civilizational. Instead, despotic would be a good way to describe it.

To the left, is none other than Pakatan Rakyat and Opposition leader, Anwar Ibrahim. The man with the plan, numbers and a now-expired timeframe to take over the reins as PM. But unfortunately, he's being encumbered by the imcumbants. Not at all a favorite with his ex-party, UMNO, who see him as a traitor to the Malay race. Anwar, on the other hand, has stated - more than once - that all are his "children", regardless of the multicolored rainbow component color that make up this truly fucked up, but truly Asia, nation of ours.

Below Anwar, is his cohort in the Pakatan Rakyat, and spiritual leader of PAS, none other than Nik Aziz Nik Mat, who's also the Chief Minister of Kelantan. Now, while PAS toned down their Islamic state rhetoric during the March 8 general elections, the rhetoric of their spiritual leader still resonates with the puritanical overtones that PAS is known for. But he's been out of the spotlight of late, other than lending support for the Pakatan Rakayat on occassion. Not a very strong contender in our poll, if you ask Walski, but a must-include for the sake of completeness.

To the right of Nik Aziz is one character that Walski personally finds annoying - the Digi Yellow Man - mascot-cum-singal-strength-personification for Digi, one of Malaysia's top three telcos. While Celcom has their territorial claims angle, Maxis has... well, Maxis, and not really much else (except for Ananda Krishnan and loads of resources), Digi has the unseen Yellow Man, who follows subscribers wherever they go... Now, how anything that's bright yellow can actually be unseen is a leap of faith that Walski finds a little annoying... 

Below the yellow menace is Najib Abdul Razak, Deputy Prime Minister who's been given the ascencion blessing by his boss. Knowing the fate of those who push too hard, too fast - a big no-no in UMNO - he's so far remained suave and cool. Then again, it's next to impossible to know UMNO from the outside in, and Walski's sure there's lots of power brokering going on right now. Be that as it may, this guy's almost assured to be the country's next PM, unless the UMNO General Assembly later this year has something to say about it.

To his left is Walski's favorite to win this little contest of his - Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar - judge, jury and executioner - who a couple of days ago signed the 2-year ISA detention papers against Raja Petra Kamaruddin, on the eve of a habeas corpus writ being heard in court. Sneaky bugger, ain't he. Since putting people away without trial is a good thing for the sake, according to Syed Hamid, Walski reckons that many people will actually vote for him in this poll. Then again, what does Walski know? 

Below Mr. ISA is a name that's very well-known in Malaysian politics, Lim Kit Siang, DAP stalwart who's been around the scene since forever. Uncle Kit is definitely disliked in the Ketuanan Melayu circles, which sees him as a threat to their racial supremacy and special status. Since no country should be fair to all its citizens, these Ketuanan types feel their dislike is justified. Of course, these Ketuanan folks aren't the most popular types themselves. But don't tell them that, as it would just spoil their blissfully delusional slumber. 

To the right of Uncle Kit is the nation's next Deputy PM wannabe - Muhyiddin Yasin, one of the people in UMNO who can't wait till 2010 to see Badawi go, and Najib ascend to the throne. We'll have to wait til at least the UMNO General Assembly in December to see whether the 2010 timing stays, or Badawi will actually be voted out. Muhyiddin sees himself as a strong contender to be Najib's future number two. Muhyiddin is included here for the fact that he represents the power struggle within his party, which has a direct effect on the nation.

Below No. 2 Wannabe is a lovable Disney character named Mickey Mouse. Well, lovable to just about everyone, except for one hardline Saudi cleric named Sheik Muhammad Munajid, who recently labelled the character as "one of Satan's soldiers". The Sheik claims that under Sharia Law, both household mice and their cartoon counterparts must be killed. Walski's not sure offhand if there is a big Muhammad Munajid fan club among Malaysians or not, but he felt that nobody's interests should be left out, regardless of how looney they may be.

Last, and certainly not least, is Raja Petra Kamaruddin, a terror in the hearts of the UMNO leadership. If you're an UMNO supporter, Walski would be surprised if your vote didn't go to him. Then again, Walski likes surprises, so he doesn't mind if RPK gets not a vote in this contest. Here is one man who doesn't contribute to nation-building. Or at least in the eyes of our one-man judge/jury/executioner Syed Hamid. Nay... instead of being a proper contributor, he writes biting articles about the corruption that makes this country what it is - continuously mediocre in as far as Transparency International is concerned. Who needs a conscience when mediocrity is so much easier to be proud of, right? In any case, let's see how RPK fares in this virtual popularity contest...

So there you have it, kiddos... the 10 finalists for myAsylum's Who Wants To Be Malaysia's Most Hated... Cast your vote (you have up to 5 choices), then tell your friends (and them their friends) to come vote, too... The more the merrier, as they say. 

The winner of this contest will have an entire post dedicated to him... now, isn't that a prize worth voting for?