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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Walski's Laws of Governmental Physics

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... with apologies to Sir Isaac Newton, on whose theories these laws are based, and who must be rolling in his grave. Hopefully, from laughter.

Bizarro cartoon taken from the Language Log, hosting by PhotobucketAfter due consideration of recent events, verbal diarrhoetic rhetorical spewage, pondan-ish and Zam-bified tirades, and the general malaise that appears to be the current Malaysian government, coupled with pseudo-scientific space-lab research done by myAsylum's CRAP (Cybernetic Remote Autonomous Pararoaches) Forensic Division - yes, we've got lots of space - a set of three physical laws have been postulated, which apparently defines our current government.

Walski's Laws of Governmental Physics, while based on the Malaysian government of the day, may probably be applied to other govrnments as well. Walski will leave the global application of these laws to other satirists to verify, or debunk.

First Law: A government will remain inert, or continue to move with a constant mediocrity, unless a resolute force of the people acts on it.
50 years of inertia usually does the trick. Or more accurately, in context, 50 years of unchallenged rule. Yes, the Malaysian Government, over the years, has undoubtedly done a lot. But a history of success does not guarantee good performance in any given season. It's true of football, as it is with governance. eXtreme denial, coupled with the desire to stay in power, usually leads to less than desirable performance. The notion of reinventing one's self, based on current needs, somehow doesn't occur to the current team. Instead, it's the same 'ol rhetoric of tired scare tactics, blame-storming and inane outbursting that defines the day. Mediocrity, which is now fashion, is spun into top-rate performance.

And the only thing that can reverse a continued trend of mediocre denialibity is a civil outburst, such as the one that was witnessed on November 10th. And if that still doesn't become a wake-up call that the people have just about had it, Walski doesn't know what else will. The snooze button can only be pushed so many times before you're late for work.
(more Laws of Governmental Physics, in the full post)

Second Law: The net decay of the government is equal to its mass multiplied by its inertia
The current size of government (the net sum of all things civil service) is immense. The size of the Malaysian Civil Service is disproportionate to its population size, in comparison to many countries. Among other things, it is usually an indicator of inefficiency. Not to mention becoming a resource sponge (think pensions and lifelong medical care). Couple that with inefficency... well, you get the picture. And while other countries are talking about cutting down the size of the public sector, ours seems to be getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and...

And last, but certainly not least:

Third Law: For every civil liberty guaranteed in the Federal Constitution, there is an equal and opposite law enacted to totally negate it
Walski would really appreciate the lawyer folk out there reading this, to comment. This, of course, comes from a Walskified layperson's point of view:
Freedom of the press - negated by the Print and Press Act.
Peaceful assembly and protest - negated by the Police Act.
Freedom of association - negated by the Societies Act (and the numerous "unwritten" guidelines).
Freedom of belief - quite simply, negated.
Freedom against discrimination - probably never existed in practice.
Equality under the law - heh... don't make Walski laugh.

There probably are other examples of the third law that you lawyer-types can point out - Walski urges you to do so, via the comments. So the question boils down to this: when it comes to the Federal Constitution and our rights as citizens, why bother?

Walski's post-vacation-and-back-with-a-vengance footnote: Well, this is Walski's first post after being (somewhat) away for a few days. And he's just warming up. More to come, that's all that Walski can promise you... more to come! Especially when certain political individuals have this knack of making total buffoons of themselves in the eyes of the international media... providing much needed fodder for the rest of us to laugh our heads off with.