Joy Overload

Technorati tags: Humor, Cynical Humor, Malaysia, Religion, Islam, Joy, Lina Joy

Today, May 30th 2007 is a day when Malaysian "Muslims" rejoice. They've won this round. Justice, as they say, is blind. Let's hope the Justices weren't. Walski hasn't read the actual decisions, so he won't comment further.

But lets do a little analysis, Walski-style, about what the Joy is all about. And yeah, Walski is sure that there is a lot to be Joyous about. But for the sake of brevity, and brain cell conservation (you know, Global Warming and all that), Walski will stick to four points of Joy...

Joy the First
The Malaysian "Muslim" community today rejoices that they are one step closer to successfully creating an apartheid - one country, different laws for different people, two different court systems depending on what faith you are forced to state on your identity card. After all, didn't anyone tell you that you're gonna get carded once you die and go the other place? Better leave word that you want to get buried with your MyKad. Wouldn't want to be stuck in limbo between this place and the next, with no proof of religious affiliation. All bundled up, and no place to go... now that would be a little annoying.

Joy the Second
Today, the Malaysian "Muslims" rejoice that they have gone against what God has stated quite clearly and plainly in the Quran, as succintly posted by Marina M. earlier today. And not only Chapter 2 Verse 256, but also Chapter 6 Verse 107, which states:

If it had been Allah's plan, they would not have taken false gods: but We made thee not one to watch over their doings, nor art thou set over them to dispose of their affairs.
(Yusuf Ali translation)

It's common knowledge that every card-carrying Malaysian "Muslim" aspires to be able to mete out their vision of religious justice in this world. It's kinda like bonus brownie points if you get to do that.

Which will probably add to the many other reasons making true what the Quran had prophesied in Chapter 25 Verse 30, where, on Judgement Day, the Prophet Muhammad will bitch to God about how his people have deserted the Quran.

Of course, these Joyous Malaysian "Muslims" will be quick to tell you that God's prohibition against compulsion only applies to non-Muslims, or those not born into Muslim families. Once you become a Muslim, that's it - forget about 2:256. Didn't you read the fine print?

Then the other more important sources come into play. Like forcing unto others what to believe. Or converting minors. You know, things that would usually go against this evil concept called Civil Liberties that the godless heathens elsewhere in the world practice.

Think of it like being in Hotel California, baby: "You can checkout anytime you like, but you can never leave!".

And no Pink Champagne on ice either.
(more Joy, in the full post)

Joy the Third
Today, Malaysian Muslims are Joyous that legal precedence has been set such that certain portions of the Federal Constitution no longer apply to them. Yay! It's only for them other non-significant Malaysians. Shariah Rulez! Don't like it? Tough! Today, it's freedom of religion. Who knows what other freedoms can be taken away, if only they tried hard enough.Today, we have inched a step further to being like Pakistan, the wonderfully Joyous place that it is.

Hey, who knows, if we're lucky enough, we'll even manage to do away with anything resembling Civil Liberties altogether! After all, everyone knows that Civil Liberties are Liberal ideas, and therefore the Devil's handiwork. CCTVs in every Muslim home - yeah, yeah, that's what we need! So that the Moral Police don't have to do their rounds unnecessarily. 24/7 under their holier-than-thou watchful eyes. Now, if that ain't paradise on earth, nothing is.

Joy the Fourth
Today, the Malaysian Muslims rejoice because once and for all, one irritating individual has been legally deemed to profess Islam. What she herself believes in her heart is irrelevant. Minor detail. Now, she can be legally persecuted prosecuted in some states by the Syariah Court, should she ever have the audacity to apply for notice that she's no longer a Muslim. But wait, the law says she is. Off to rehab with her! Or worse.

Isn't putting somebody else's life in limbo fun? Isn't it a joyous feeling - making you all tingly inside - to be able to inflict further mental anguish on someone else - legally, no less? What a Joyfuly glorious day May 30th, 2007 has turned out to be!

~ ~ ~ o ~ ~ ~

The silver lining is, however, that it would probably be better that the decision went the way it did, than to have a mob community of pissed-off, non-Joyous Malaysian "Muslims".

Without a doubt, there's shitloads of Joy today among the Malaysian "Muslims". So much Joy that it's overflowing through every conceivable human orifice - even the inconceivable ones, too, probably. So much Joy that one could literally explode.

With Joy.

Unless, of course, you happen to be one of the disenchanted Malaysians whose first name happens to be Lina.

Walski's not-so-cynical footnote: There are some real serious legal and social implications brought about by today's decision, which Walski is nowhere knowledgeable enough to discuss, as they have to do with Constitutional Law, among other things. It's just that all this pent up cynicism had to be let off, somehow... better on a blog post than a lamp post, Walski reckons.