Conspiracy Update

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Related post: Mamak Conspiracy: The Contest

Yes, boys and girls, a quick update on the ongoing Mamak Conspiracy contest, lest ye forget.

3 autographed CDs still up for grabs!

So far, we have received a number of interesting conspiracy theories, but Walski wants more! Rules and regulations are simple - there hardly are any (or see here for details)! Your conspiracy theories are still being accepted until the end of March, but if you beg and plead, Walski may extend it for a couple of days into April...

Don't know what a conspiracy theory looks like? Well, here's one to whet your writing appetite...
(sample theory, and more, in the full post)

Walski figured that you probably need a sample or three, being that some of you are probably from the A's over-achiever generation of tuition center addicts that need sample papers to do well in exams... hence, sample theories are probably the requirement of the day. Even though this isn't exactly an exam. Either that, or you're a firm believer of fate - and have no fucking clue what the word conspiracy means.

Oh well, if these insult won't budge you into action, Walski figures nothing will...

If you have ever driven along the Middle Ring Road 2 (in KL), or MRR2 as we locals call it, you'll probably notice that there isn't one standard speed limit along the entire stretch. Yes, there are speed limit signs along the way, but they vary from 50 to 90 km/h without much (or any) warning to pre-empt you of a speed zone change.

Well, if you're travelling into the city from Kepong along the MRR2, you'll notice first off, that the posted speed limit, for a 6-lane highway, is a blistering 60 km/h. With a few reminder signs, just in case you forget - which is just about anybody using that highway, because the speed limit is simply not reasonable. Then, once you get down from the second, smaller flyover (after the once-cracked elevated stretch), no speed limits posted - at all. On average, cars travel at around 90 km/h here in the fast lane.

On some days, you'll probably come across a police roadblock further down, just before reaching Batu Caves, and Walski's seen several vehicles pulled over, presumably for speeding. But above what speed limit? Walski didn't bother to stop and ask.

The theory here is that it is an evil conspiracy between JKR (the Malaysian Public Works Department - the builders & maintainers of this crappy highway), Samy Velu (the minister in charge of the crappy design), and the Royal Malaysian Police, as a means to get some added revenue.

Then, further down, where the posted limit is 90 km/h (which most drivers don't notice), traffic usually slows down to below 80 km/h, because there usually is another speed trap, just before the split to the Karak Highway. And Malaysian drivers being Malaysian drivers, when you know there's a speed trap ahead, overcompensate and slow down to as unreasonable a slow speed as reasonably possible.

So, the second part of the theory - jam traffic up bad enough to make the Mayor's road pricing proposal an acceptable one. Between there, and Ampang Jaya, there are enough bottlenecks along the way - with ambigous speed limits, although some believe it to be 80 km/h - to make your daily travel as unbearable as possible. And frequently, traffic grinds to a halt for no apparent reason whatsoever. And speaking of congestion...

Third part of the theory - enter City Hall - divert traffic within city limits in the worst possible way to create as massive a congestion as possible. Walski, of course, is talking about the Jalan Pahang-to-Jalan Ipon diversion disaster area.

"Make me pay a levee!" cry the exasperated city drivers... in desperation, after spending hours of non-quality time stuck in traffic. Whether or not the levee will actually solve any problem is another matter.

So there, a multi-layered conspiracy involving several agencies - for revenue, maybe profit, and getting ill-thought-out road congestion alleviation proposals through.

Important cover-Walski's-ass Disclaimer: The above is not based on any facts, definitely has not a shred of truth, nor is it an accusation. Just imagining sample theory for make benefit glorious readers of this blog entering contest to win freebies.

See - easy, isn't it? Well, okay, truth be told, it sounds pretty lame, actually, so Walski's sure you can do better. Up for the challenge?

With very little effort, a little creativity, and time to kill, you too could one day be the proud owner of an autographed Ben' Bitches Mamak Conspiracy CD! There are no winners in this contest, only losers - but you could walk away a loser with an autographed CD...