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Friday, June 30, 2006

Gated Communities Got Their Own Problems, Too!

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Yes folks, Walski lives in a gated community. Won't tell you where, but it is a very nice environment to live in. Walski & the Mrs moved here a couple of months ago, as reported in an earlier post.

But like any community, this little gated one does have its own share of minor problems from time to time. The one Walski is about to tell you is a little bizarre. Well, the memo/circular communicating this problem was, at least.

Image hosting by PhotobucketTo be promptly filed under
"Silly & Totally Unnecessary"

To protect the innocent (namely Walski), the identity of the community has been obscured... (highlights and emphasis by myAsylum - grammatical mistakes are from the original memo)

To: All Residents/Owners

RE : Precautionary Measures Against Loss of Fishes

We would like to take this opportunity to inform all owners and residents alike whom already have a fish pond in-place, currently constructing a fish pond or has the intention of constructing one in the future to take additional security measures to safeguard the fishes against loss by means of having a closed circuit TV, motion sensors etc to monitor the fish pond etc.

There were incidents where owners had suffered losses of fishes by small and large amount and it would be difficult to track down the culprit(s) after the fact of the matter as insufficient trace or evidence does not allow investigation to proceed further. For residents that have already comleted the construction of the fish pond and yet to shift-in, we would strongly advise that the residents do not place the fishes in the pond too early and unguarded/unmonitored but to leave it to a later date when the houses is occupied to enable the fish to be closely monitored and perhaps guarded against loss.

Your kind attention on the matter is highly appreciated.

Thank you.

The Management

Quick! Quick! Call in the CSI team! Unfortunately, our gated community doesn't have its own forensic investigation department.

Both of us really had a good laugh when we saw the memo... Oh well, even in the most secure gated community, fishy things do sometimes happen...

Click here for the full post......

Kelantan and "My Second Wife Home" Program

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We have all kinds of programs, it seems, to attract rich foreigners to come to Malaysia - Malaysia - My Second Home, Medical Tourism, Eco-Tourism etc. But Kelantan State Tourism Chairman, Datuk Anuar Tan Abdullah may have hit on yet another brilliant idea, when The Star yesterday reported him as saying (in the Kelantan state assembly):

MALAYSIA cannot compete with Thailand and the Philippines in luring foreigners to make the country their second home because Malaysian women cannot be easily influenced to become wives of wealthy foreigners, the state assembly was told.

"The foreigners not only want a second home, they also want a second wife,” state Tourism committee chairman Datuk Anuar Tan Abdullah (PAS – Kota Lama) told Datuk Hashim Safin (BN – Guar Ipoh)

How Datuk Anuar Tan came to that conclusion is anybody's guess. Especially since he added the following:

He also revealed that Kelantan has yet to receive any applications from foreigners keen on making the state their second home.

(full news report can be found here)

Duhhh... many people shun the state to even visit, let alone make it their second home, despite being probably the most polygamy-friendly state in the nation.
(more PAS-bashing in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketYour ultimate 2nd wife destination.
Certified MakYong-free since 1990!

What is it about PAS politicians that they come up with these ludicrous notions and remarks? First it was gatal (Malay: promiscuous or lascivious) divorcees, and now, apparently, Malaysian (especially Kelantanese) women are not gatal enough?

Perhaps they should open up the "Wed an Orang Asli and get RM 10k" program to rich Muslim foriegners. Including the monthly stipend and 4-wheel drive, of course (even the rich can do with a little more).

Or maybe, a totally separate program altogether, where applicants choosing Kelantan to be their second home get a second (or third, or fourth) wife as a package deal. Yeah, Walski can foresee the applications pouring in by the truckloads...

Announcing the Kelantan: My Second Wife with Second Home program.

And these buffons aspire to lead the nation? Puny Air-head Simians, really...

Footnote: Walski really can't wait for Malformed Endoparasitic Neolithic Jackass to spin this one into another (un)funny satire involving Whiskey-boy!

Click here for the full post......

World Cup Deutschland 2006: Odd News and and a Prediction update



Image hosting by PhotobucketAs you may recall, Walski made a prediction sometime back as to which teams would advance from the group stages. We'll do a review of it, but first, some very odd (and funny) news related to the tournament.

In what Walski thinks is one of the oddest bit of news related to the FIFA World Cup 2006, a man in China was so engrossed with watching the France vs Spain telecast, that a fire breaking out in his house was not important enough to tear him away from the TV (as reported by All Headline News):

House On Fire Doesn't Bother Soccer Fan
June 29, 2006 5:38 p.m. EST
Ankit Gupta - All Headline News Staff Writer


Beijing, China (AHN) - A Chinese soccer fan refused to let the small matter of his house catching fire disturb his enjoyment of Tuesday's World Cup match between France and Spain.

A fire broke out in a hutong (narrow alley) in the centre of the Chinese capital at three in the morning local time on June 29 - kickoff time in Hanover - and gutted the traditional courtyard dwelling, the Beijing Daily Messenger reported.

"When the neighbor's shouted 'fire!' I took my little baby and ran out in my nightclothes," the man's wife told the paper. "My husband paid no attention to the danger, just grabbed the television and put it under his arm," she added.

"After getting out of the house, he then set about finding an electric socket to plug in and continue watching his game."

Screw the house, wife and kid... me gotta watch my footie! The dude probably had some yuen riding on the game...

In any case, Walski's earlier prediction had some hits and some total misses. The prediction was accurate for Groups A, B, C, and F, and partially correct for Group D, but in the wrong order (Portugal came out tops over Mexico).

However, the prediction for Group E went totally out of whack, when that group became the inadvertent group of death. Italy came out tops (Walski had predicted them to be second), and an impressive Ghana made history by advancing from the group stages (instead of as predicted). Up till the final game for the respective teams, the top two spots were literally up for grabs.

In Group G, France made a resurgance during their final group match against Togo and edged out South Korea, who lost their final game to Switzerland. Group H also ended somewhat different from what was predicted; Walski correctly predicted Spain to top the group, but Ukraine ended up in second place.

So now, with the second round over and done with, we're now at the Quarter Final stage. And with that, of course, another round of predictions. (Quarter-Final predictions in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe tournament so far

Walski's Qurater Finals Prediction: Portugal will edge out England, Germany will lose to Argentina, Italy will triumph over Ukraine, and Brazil will even the score (of their World Cup 1998 final loss) by beating France.

However, the Germany vs Argentina match should be an interesting one to catch - home ground advantage is something not to be dismissed, and while Walski believes that Argentina has more quality on the field, it will be a very close game.

We'll find out over the weekend if these predictions are accurate or not. Sports prognostication is not Walski's forte, mind you. But as always, when Walski predicts wrongly, Walski admits to it, unreservedly.

Happy viewing!

Click here for the full post......

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Mutant Elf Naturally Jaundiced

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Disclaimer #1: Tit-for-tats are usually a total waste of time, but somebody’s gotta teach the kid how to satirize properly.

Contrary to popular belief, there are some pleasures in life that are free. No burden on the wallet whatsoever. And this pleasure Walski speaks of is not lurid in nature – that type of pleasure can actually be quite expensive.

As Walski recently found out, one of these pleasures is witnessing pygmy-brained individuals struggle with creativity (no offense to pygmies intended; this is merely a reference to diminutive cerebellums and does not involve any pygmies, past, present or future, tense or otherwise). In particular, it concerns one Mutant Elf, trying very hard to create meaningful satire, but churning out instead unimaginative diatribe that only a juvenile-minded Mutant Elf could appreciate.

Walski finds this very amusing. The exhibited lack of creative genius (or any genius) can only be explained by the size of the cerebellum, which in this case, is pretty darn small in comparison to the normal human brain.

Image hosting by PhotobucketBoth brains occupy exactly the same amount of cranial space

This Mutant Elf, apart from being devoid of creativity, also exhibits another strange symptom: jaundice. No, not the eye/skin/mucuous discoloration kind, but the other type:

A state or feeling of negativity or bitterness arising especially from envy or world-weariness

As much as Walski would very much like to believe that it is due to envy, world-weariness is a more probable and plausible reason. While the world of most individuals may be their oyster, this Mutant Elf’s oyster has probably sat on an unrefrigerated shelf a tad too long.

And what exactly is a Mutant Elf? (see definition, and more, in the full post)

According to reports from Walski’s crack team of C.R.A.P. (Cybernetic Remote Autonomous Pararoaches), a Mutant Elf possesses the torso and limbs (usually in the correct quantity) of diminutive proportions, but with a full adult human-size head.

Image hosting by PhotobucketMutant Elf heads are disproportionate to the body by a ratio of 1.779951:1

The picture above is purely for illustrative purposes. The actual Mutant Elf in question is a lot less adorable.

Being jaundiced, actually, is not a natural trait of the Mutant Elf or normal Elf breeds in general. Most mutant elves have a pretty cheery outlook on life. The jaundice observed in this one particular Mutant Elf is an exceptionally rare phenomenon.

This naturally jaundiced Mutant Elf exhibits certain distinct characteristics, peculiar to jaundiced miscreants of various species in general. Among these characteristics are:

Delusions of Grandeur – in this case, of one day owning the Internet. Bill Gates today, Mutant Elf tomorrow!
Likes Brutal Honesty – but not when on the receiving end. Tends to delete incriminating posts (or comments he can't handle), then pretends they never existed. Very righteous. Self-righteous, that is.
Fascination with tabbed browsing – despite loathing certain unmentionable browsers that utilize them, the Mutant Elf finds tabbed browsing fascinatingly handy (it is not immediately known if a fascination for small shiny objects is also manifest)
Secretly whacking off to actual pictures of naked natives, while accusing others of being sexually deprived – okay, admitedly, Walski made this one up - totally. But our Mutant Elf specimen was probably too obtuse to realize that the original image was not Walski’s to begin with.

The root cause of the jaundice afflicting this Mutant Elf remains a mystery, and research is currently ongoing. It is not immediately known if any sociopathic influences are responsible, or if genetic mis-engineering was involved.

With uncertainties abound, no conclusion can be arrived at currently. The How, Why, When, and What-not can only be guessed. Guessing, unless in the process of making incredulous leaps of logic, typically provides good questions with equally fantastic, but totally wrong, answers. So we won’t even try.

And just what is certain at this is juncture? Only this: Mutant Elf Naturally Jaundiced.

Disclaimer #2: No actual mutant elves, pygmies, oysters (fresh or rancid), or big-headed babies were harmed in the making of this post. Any similarities to real Mutant Elfies, living or braindead, is purely intentional.

Click here for the full post......

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The straightest path to Salvation is to be Anti-Everything!

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Walski's style is to call a spade a spade. Okay, sometimes he calls a spade a shovel instead. But the point is that, if something needs to be ridiculed (for the betterment of mankind), it needs to be done, and done ASAP.

Religion is one of those things that opens itself up to constant ridicule, especially if the religionists in question go overboard. Walski came across this website, thanks to fellow blogger Adam, who runs the ah ok lah! and Auto Lah - Malaysian auto industry news blogs, through his post about a certain hand-sign that some Christians construe as being the hand-sign of The Devil.

The website in question is called Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to Heaven!!!

Image hosting by PhotobucketYour one-stop resource to find out what's wrong... which is almost everything

Now, don't get Walski wrong - this is not about comparing Christianity to anything in particular. It's simply that this website ROCKS!! Here, in this treasure trove of the inane, you'll find gems like: (more in the full post)
Rock Music Kills
The Evils of Elvis
Why Christian Rock is equally evil (and not just from the musical point of view)
Doctors are the Third Leading Cause of Death in the U.S.
FALSE RELIGIONS! (including Catholicism and other Christian sects)
Militant Feminazi
... and countless other "resources" for being a good Christian.

Wow! Gee-whiz! And Walski thought the Mutant Mullahs were bad enough... The evils of Islam, or as the website calls it "Islamic Muslim" (but declined to elaborate what other kinds there were), is discussed in full, of course.

And while one might think that Harry Potter is nothing but harmless fantasy, this site exposes all, with articles like "The Abomination of Harry Potter", "Harry Potter is Wicked", and even has a scary video on the evils of Witchcraft and Harry Potter, which you can view below, or download here (right-click and Save As).


Witchcraft Repackaged (8m 19s)

Well, Walski reckons that there are wackos in every religious demographic, and not one religious extreme can claim exclusivity in idiocy. In fact, there are probably numerous websites similar to this one, just waiting to be discovered.

And the best way to Salvation, according to this particular website? Be Anti-Everything!

Click here for the full post......

The PAS Get-RM10k-Richer scheme, and other loony-tunes political stories

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Another day, another bunch of wacky news involving politicians, religiously-motivated silly ideas, and in general a barrel of laughs for Walski.

Wanna be better off by RM 10,000?

The Kelantan sate government, lead by the Pea-brained Assinine Slothmonkeys party, has offered an RM 10,000 reward for any Muslim missionary who marries an Orang Asli, as reported by Bernama, the national news agency. Ha-ha-ha-rakahDaily, it's online paper, however, indicated that this reward was open to all Muslims. The motive, of course, is conversion to Islam.

Image hosting by PhotobucketOrang Asli lasses eagerly await your saving them

Other perks, on top of the ten grand (and a chance to snare one of 'em beauties like in the photo.. heh-heh), include an allowance of RM 1,000 (presumably on a monthly basis), accommodations, and get this: a four-wheel drive vehicle. Walski would love to have a Nissan Murano, thank you very much.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe 2.5L full-spec model will do just nicely - preferably in black


Mrs. Walski, on the other hand, would probably not approve this idea one iota! Actually, make that definitely.

To be fair, the Kelantan PAS Government didn't actually specify what make of 4-wheel drive they had in mind (or specifications for the Orang Asli to be wed). However, doing some simple-minded math, the state government would have to spend a minimum of RM 100,000 in one-off expense, and RM 12,000 per annum, for each taker. Walski didn't realize that the Kelantan state budget was so bountiful.

In other politically harebrained news (as reported in The Star), Minister in the Prime Minister's Office (other than the Prime Minister himself), Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Aziz, has openly "declared war" on Tun Mahathir, by stating that

"Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad should leave Umno because he has colluded with the opposition and continued to criticise the Government."

Another newspaper (guess which?) had him saying that the Tun was "sleeping with the enemy". Pretty fiesty words, huh?

Nazri, as you may remember, is also the UMNO party dominatrix whip. His stand has been met with mixed response from UMNO Members of Parliament.

But it is not likely that UMNO will go as far as removing the Tun from the party, as hinded by Nazri. Yup. One the one hand, Nazri is challenging the Tun's manhood, but on the other hand, the party's not so stupid as to make this rash move, which will undoubtedly cause a major split within its ranks; perhaps even leading to something like the UMNO-Semangat 46 split not so many years ago.

Walski thinks this is loony-tunes because instead of focusing on whether or not the criticisms of the Tun are valid, the primary focus is instead on the fact that an UMNO member cannot be critical of the current government. Nazri a firm believer of the "check-in your brain and your conscience when entering UMNO" doctrine. It's party first, last and always. (more lunacy in the full post)

Image hosting by PhotobucketPARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

Sure, Walski likes to party, too. Who doesn't?

But the days of this non-thinking, blindly loyal, party animal have long gone. UMNO's idea of heroes would probably be along the vein of Hang Tuah, the ever-loyal, never-questioning type of loyal subject (in Walski's mind the real hero in the story is Hang Jebat). Nevermind if a party decision is stupid or even not morally correct (remember the Datuk Shahrir incident?).

Image hosting by PhotobucketA more docile & lovable type of Party Animal

Speaking of Shahrir, the PACman vs. Uncle Samy saga seems to be at an amicable end (sort of), as reported in both The Star and The New Straitjacket Straits Times. Both parties agreed that a media war would be futile. However, the PAC would continue its probe into Government compensation of abandoned projects, with or without the Works minister present.

A typical day in the life of a Malaysian would be so mundane without the loons in government and politics providing us with constant entertainment, wouldn't it?

Click here for the full post......

Monday, June 26, 2006

IPCMC - Better late than never

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Image hosting by PhotobucketNot the actual police Walski had in mind, but the caption on the image hits the issue between the eyes.

The image, by the way, is the poster for Stewart Copeland's behind the scenes documentary about one of Walski's all-time favorite bands. Click on it to find out more.

The Independent Police Complaints and Misconduct Commission (IPCMC) is once again the talking point in some political circles. And everyone is watching (apart from the FIFA World Cup Finals Deutchland 2006, that is). The deadline for setting it up was supposed to have been May 31, 2006.

Most of the stuff here is not really breaking news, but Walski thought that it would be good to keep this fresh in everyone's minds, due to its importance.

While most of Malaysia is all for the setting up of this commission, certain parties with vested interest are dead-set against it. Including, of course, the Royal Malaysia Police themselves. Earlier this month, an internal Police memo inadvertently got onto its public website. This was reported by the Grand-master of the Malaysian Blogsphere, Jeff Ooi. The webpage has since been taken down, but you can, if you so desire, view a PDF version of the webpage.

And who else is against the setting up of this commission? UMNO Youth, for one. They were the only conspicuously missing piece in the BN Youth front protesting against the threatening nature of the internal memo.

One of the threats made in the memo is to revoke support to BN (namely UMNO) in ensuring they remain in power, and for the police to vote for the opposition... Of course, UMNO would not be in support of IPMC. Kinda tells you how screwy and scary Malaysian politics is, doesn't it? UMNO's refusal is also a slap on the face of our PM, Pak Lah, who has publicly given his full support for the formation of the IPCMC.

The latest development, announced by the Prime Minister in parliament today, is that the Attorney General's Chambers is in the process of wrapping up a study on the setting up of this commission. So now, the nation waits. Will the IPCMC be per what the Royal Commission's recommendations? Or will it be a watered-down, UMNO Youth-friendly, toothless commission, similar to other so-called independent watchdog bodies (ICA, Suhakam, etc.)?

And why is the IPCMC good for Malaysia? (more in the full post)

The IPCMC will act as a watchdog body to monitor complaints against police misconduct, and to ensure that the police operate within the bounds of the law. Contrary to popular belief, the police are not the law, nor are they above it.

Recent police misconduct cases include Squatgate, Chinese New Year Botakgate, various harassment cases (like this one), and of course, Goatgate (a.k.a. the New Year's Eve Black Metal raid on Paul's Place), the one that is dear to Walski's heart, as it affected a number of fellow musicians.

All told, the IPMC is actually good for the police force - for one thing, it will restore the public's confidence that the police is out there in the public's interest, and not as a menace to society.

IPMC - ensuring Polis Diraja Malayasia, not Polis Raja Di Malaysia

Click here for the full post......

Friday, June 23, 2006

Friday Musical Mayhem with Ben's B*tches

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Brand spankin' new from Disarseter Records!! Received via e-mail yesterday...

Ben's Bitches Album Preview I

Greetings and salutations earthlings!

We at Disarseter Records are not soccer fans. Hence, this post has nothing to do with the Soccer Super Bowl going on in Germany. For those of you who are soccer fans, please feel free to enjoy it.

As you may know, Disarseter Records's artists, Ben's Bitches and 360 Degree Head Rotation have been hitting the studios for the past few months working like busy beavers (Ben's Bitches' favorite animal). We're looking at releasing both albums towards the end of 2006, those irritating things called "day jobs" keep on getting in the way and disurpting the best laid plans of men and Bitches.

For some of you who'd like a taste of things to come, here are two tracks off Ben's Bitches soon to be released album. There are currently three working titles for this album:
a) Sex, Drugs and Sambal!
b) The Mamak Consipiracy...
c) Censor this, Mothertucker!

So, listen and enjoy (sorry, only hi fi streaming available):


This is not a black metal song

Ah Beng Emo Metal Song
(Caution: Explicit Hokkien lyrics)

And if, for any reason, you wish to sing along, Disarseter Records has been kind enough to provide us with lyrics for one of the songs (in the full post)!

This is not a Black Metal Song
(© Ben's Bitches/Disarseter Records 2006)

Arrrrrrr

I grow long hair, and wear black t-shirt,
I eat curry mutton for my breakfast,
there are some goats behind my house.
but that does not mean i'm into Black Metal.

THIS IS NOT A BLACK METAL SONG-

WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?

Even soccer fans, they paint their face.
and Britney Spears wore spikes on her body,
I growl whenever I have sorethroat,
but that does not mean I'm into Black Metal.

THIS IS NOT A BLACK METAL SONG-

WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET ALONG?

Everybody has the right to be black...

Click here for the full post......

Thursday, June 22, 2006

KL: 3rd Least Polite City in Reader's Digest survey

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Walski could almost imagine Jar Jar Binks say "ow wuuude" on the off-chance that he visited Kuala Lumpur.

Jar Jar Binks Image from www.theforce.net

A Reader's Digest courtesy-test survey of 35 cities worldwide ranked Kuala Lumpur number 33, making K.L. the third-rudest city in the survey. Only Mumbai (the rudest) and Bucharest fared worse.

Ever the optimist, Walski sees it as "3rd least polite" as opposed to 3rd rudest.

Now, before you pooh-pooh this as another Western imperialist attempt to paint a negative picture about Malaysia, here are the three tests conducted (and put your own experience into perspective):
►The door test (as in whether someone would hold the door open for you)
►The document spillage test (as in whether a complete stranger would help you pick up documents you dropped)
►The courteous salescleark test (as in whether the shop attendednt thanked you for your purchase)

The scale is presented as an aggregated pass-percentage of the three tests. OK - not the most scientific survey ever done. But it is a survey of large cities, which may not always reflect the rest of the population in a given country.

Singapore-bashers will be happy to note that our neighbors to the south came in at a pretty sorry #31, with a pass-percentage of 41%, compared to KL, which had a 37% pass-percentage.

We may tell the world how friendly Malaysia is - and we generally are very friedly to our tourists - how friendly are we, really, to one another? KLite to KLite?

Walski finds some truth in the survey. Which is why it's tagged "humor" - you gotta take surveys like these with a grain of salt. But there have been instances where people entering through the door in front of Walski just walk in, oblivious to whom could be behind him/her, and don't bother to keep the door open. Maybe not 59% of the time, but it does frequently happen.

Having said that, over the years, Walski has observed that KLites today are perhaps not as rude as they were 10 years ago. At least, on the road, if you put your signal out there usually is a chance of cutting in. And Walski does wave his hand up as a gesture of thanks, when that happens.

So, the onus is now on us KLites - how do we make our beloved city less rude? Well, going by the survey, you could start with those three things. Especially the last one - it never hurts to say thank you.

So, dear reader... thank you.

Click here for the full post......

Putting the Conservative Muslims' fear into perspective

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I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.

Sci-fi & Fantasy buffs may recognize the above instantly. For those who aren't, it is an excerpt from the Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear from Frank Herbert's novel Dune. Keep it in mind as you read this post.

It is obvious from recent news reports, commentaries and what not, that conservative Muslims see Kongsi-Raya as a real threat to Islam. And the root question that has remained somewhat unanswered is why?

Yes, the Islamic establishment has issued numerous statements, and an interview on a related matter - Liberalism & Pluralism (read the interview, and Walski's commentary on it, if you haven't already done so) - but really failed to answer the real question. Why?

Obviously, if a Muslim were to knowingly participate in another religion's rituals and/or services, then that would be a clear-cut no-no.

Writer Fathi Aris Omar wrote a nice editorial piece in the Malay-language Star Online site, MStar, where he asks the pertinent question - is culture being mistaken as relgious symbolism?

Muslim Intellectual Dr. Chandra Muzaffar also wrote an article questioning the wisdom and highlighting the dangers of simple-minded labelling, as FatwaMan has done with regards to pluralism.

So, really - what does the conservative Muslim mind fear about kongsi-anything?

A clue, as Walski found out, lies in Mahaguru58's two recent posts: "Kongsiraya-Why the Ulamaks don't approve it" and "Kuttuvilakku - A picture speaks a thousands words".
(Now, Mahaguru58, by no stretch of the imagination, is a conservative Muslim. However, in contrast with certain other conservatives, Walski holds a fair amount of respect for him, as he presents his views in a very sober, adult and rational way)

We won't duplicate what he has to say here, but the root cause of this is the fear of syirik - the act of associating someone or something as equal to God - a definite no-no in any Muslim's book. The reasoning given by Mahaguru58 is thus:

"When a Muslim attends a function where there exists an atmosphere of adherence to another 'deity' or 'figure of reverence' such as a religious icon, symbol of worship, etcetera, then that Muslim must not follow in the activities of paying homage to that figure of worship or remain there as a sign of respect to that 'deity' or object that is being worshipped apart from Allah, True God Almighty!"

As the reasoning goes, any object that is used in conjunction with other religions' worship or rituals may fall into this category. The example given was the Kuttuvilakku (sometimes also called urvalikk or kuthvilakk) - the standing oil lamp. The image below is an example.

Oil Lamp Image from GangesIndia.comOil lamp to some, threatening symbol to others

So, to carry the reasoning further, a Muslim going to a Hindu friend's house on Divali (or Deepavali, as it's more commonly known in Malaysia) with a Kuttuvilakku in it, is at risk of syirik, because the Kuttuvilakku is an object used in Hindu prayer. If you actually light one up, you're definitely in a state of syirik. (There is a specific occassion mentioned in the second post about Rais Yatim lighting one of these up, symbolizing the start of some event or other.)

Now, physically, the Kuttuvilakku is basically an ornate oil lamp, and culturally, lighting it up is a symbol of starting/officiating something (be it prayer, a meeting, conference, or what have you). And yes, you will find it in Hindu temples. And yes, it is used in Hindu rituals.

Walski's Opinion Starts Here: (in the full post)

As a Muslim, one cannot associate, or declare-as-equal, anything or anyone, with God. However, there is also the more crucial question of niat (intention). To Walski, the Kuttuvilakku is nothing more than an oil lamp. Yes, it is used in Hindu religious rituals, but from a cultural standpoint, lighting it up is a symbolic starting point - of anything. It is no different from sounding the Malay Gong to officially start a function.

So, if one were to focus on only one of an object's many uses, which happens to be religious in nature, and regard that object as being a religious icon because of that one use, then life for a Muslim on this Earth would be one of total misery.

A Muslim, therefore, cannot use candles. Why? Because candles are used in Churches.

A Muslim, thereore, cannot watch Babe (the film about the cute talking pig). Why? Because pigs are unclean/forbidden to Muslims, and even looking at it may contaminate your soul, through the eyes (even though what the Quran specifically prohibits is the consumption of pig meat, and consumption of pig meat alone).

A Muslim, therefore, cannot burn fragrant incense sticks. Why? Because incense sticks resemble joss sticks, which are used by Buddhists/Taoist for their rituals.

A Muslim, therefore, cannot visit a Hindu's home on Divali, or a Taoist's home on Chinese New Year. Why? Because there exist many objects used for prayer/rituals in those homes (nevermind that for some, the only motivation may be the chance to taste some decent Ladoo or mutton curry).

And the list could go on, and on, and on... outlasting even the Energizer bunny.

And the root of all this? Fear, caused by ignorance, which leads to more fear. Not the real fear of displeasing God, but the fear of fear compounded onto itself.

Fear that the mere symbology brings one to displeasing God. Nevermind the niat. Oh no, even though in your heart you revere only God, lighting up the Kuttuvilakku is syirik because the Hindus use it in their rituals; nevermind that to a Muslim it should be nothing more than an ornate oil lamp. Out of fear, we have associated it with something more than what it physically is - an oil lamp. And we end up feeling threatened. By oil lamps.

There was a time, not so long ago, when watching television was considered a grave wrong-doing by some Muslims. Because of the moving pictures. And creating a likeness (especially of humans) is considered haram (forbidden), because of the fear that the likeness would be worshipped instead of God. And so there were those that threw their TV sets away into the river.

The fear of displeasing God is a very valid one, for any faith. Walski has no problem with that. And this is where the basis of displeasing God has to be given due consideration. Which is why the concept of niat (intent) is a very important one in Islam. But due consideration is only possible if you use your God-given intellect.

Imagine the ridicule if the Christian clergy were to one day issue a proclamation disallowing Christians to eat ketupat, because its association with the Muslim's Eid celebrations may erode the Christians faith.

When we allow fear to extrapolate itself, and give objects more implicit meanings and symbolic importance than they actually deserve, then irrational fear manifests itself. We feel threatened by oil lamps, candles, incense sticks, T-junctions (because they resemble crucifixes), etc. You name it, there may just be a reason to fear it.

We end up tip-toeing through life fearing that every little thing in our path may have implicit dangers of syirik. Not because we've figured it out with our own minds, but because we've been conditioned to think in that manner.

In fact, what is really happening to many Malay-Muslims is that they have allowed their minds to come under siege. They have allowed fear to overcome common sense and intellect. And for this, the ultra-conservative ulama, over the generations, bear much of the blame, as Chandra Muzaffar has correctly pointed out.

And fear, as the Bene Gesserit in Dune have proclaimed, really is the mind-killer.

Click here for the full post......

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Liberalism, Pluralism and why using your intellect will land you in Hell

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Image hosting by PhotobucketFirst of all, a big THANK YOU to a myAsylum reader, JT who first elerted Walski to the Berita Harian interview with Perak State Mufti, Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria (aka FatwaMan), published last Sunday, June 18.

So that this post makes sense, myAsylum has posted the entire interview (in Malay) and translated it into English, as accurately as possible (the interview opens in a new window).

In the interview, the good Mufti has shared with us his opinion of why Liberalism and Pluralism are evil, in as far as Islam is concerned. Aspiring future-owner of the Internet (Walski's favorite Mutant Mullah) UltraMENJ has stated that in this interview, the Mufti "has brilliantly justified his views and vindicates himself by giving a very concise and deep explanation of his earlier statement".

Ok. Let's analyze this brilliance that so overwhelms MENJ.

Image hosting by PhotobucketThe interview begins with FatwaMan answering the question "What is the real meaning of liberalism and religious pluralism that is said to be influencing Muslims?" Now, the question in itself is sneaky, because it sets up the reader to expect some profound truth. Naughty, Berita Harian, naughty...

Anyway, there's this long spiel about how religious liberal thought emerged, attributing its seeds to intellectuals rebelling against the Church. A concise, if not very accurate, way of putting it. But what's interesting is that FatwaMan seems to be in agreement with the old Roman Catholic Church, that scripture is not for the lay person to understand and interpret, and that only the clergy has this exclusive right. Putting it into the context of Islam, therefore, only the ulama have the exclusive right to interpret the meaning contained in the Quran.

While Harussani doesn't actually say this explicitly, this is very much implied, especially later on in the interview.

In explaining the roots of liberalism, the Mufti also mentions that the Bible has been re-written in a language simpler for the common folk to understand. He also makes the claim that the Liberal Muslims are asking for the same thing: that the Quran be altered/re-written (the Malay word used is diolah semula - which means to re-synthesize from the original into something else).

Now, Walski cannot comment on things going on outside Malaysia, but as far as can be ascertained, what liberal Muslims in Malaysia have called for is the re-interpetation of the Quran to address the relevencies of today.

Therefore, the assertion that Liberal Muslims are calling for the Quran to be re-synthesized is either a misunderstanding on the Mufti's part, or blatant obfuscation of the truth. Very brilliant, indeed.

On religious pluralism, the Mufti attributes it to John Hick, and explains that pluralism is the idea that "all religions are acceptable, because although the paths are different, the destination is the same".

[Note: John Hick, a Christian philosopher best known for his advocacy of religious pluralism, rejects the evangelical, exclusivist Christian view that those who do not accept Christianity are doomed to eternal damnation. His rejection is based on Christian teachngs of God's love, which he finds incompatible with the exclusivists' view.]

While a Muslim must follow the path perscribed by God in the Quran, there is room to allow for other religions to flourish. Basically, the philosophy is one of "to each his/her own" path. This is Walski's understanding of what religious pluralism is - the acceptance of the right for other religions to exist and flourish; which religion a person (regardless of race) chooses is ultimately up to God to guide.

There is a commentary written by Chandra Muzaffar on religions pluralism that is worth reading, originally published in The Star, but reproduced by the Malaysian Bar Association. It is a direct well-written rebuttal (unlike Walski's sometimes irreverant style) to the earlier assertions on the dangers of pluralism made by FatwaMan.

And the Quran's comment on this? (more in the full post)

[Surah 6 (Al-A'am), verse 108] Do not curse the idols they set up beside GOD, lest they blaspheme and curse GOD, out of ignorance. We have adorned the works of every group in their eyes. Ultimately, they return to their Lord, then He informs them of everything they had done.

Walski won't do a blow-by-blow, point-by-point rebuttal. That would be a sheer waste of resource. But there are certain idiosyncracies about FatwaMan that Walski must point out.

One of the interesting attributes of the Mufti is the superhuman ability to make great leaps of logic. In a later part of the interview, he quotes a verse (partially) from the Quran, to justify his assertion that Liberal Muslims have minimized the role of the Prophet Muhammad [from Surah 2 (Al-Baqarah) verse 151, as always the Yusuf Ali translation]:

We have sent among you a Messenger of your own, rehearsing to you Our Signs, and sanctifying you, and instructing you in Scripture and Wisdom, and in new knowledge.

The fantastic leap of logic is made by FatwaMan when he then states this:

"This verse explains that only the Mesenger has the right to translate the Quran because he was instructed with a strong mind by Gabriel as to the meaning in this holy book. Therefore, those that translate the Quran using only their intellect, are included in the group destined for hell."

Yes folks, intellect is bad. And how could this conclusion possibly be derived from the verse quoted? Remember the insinuation Walski made earlier about Harussani's view scripture being the exclusive domain of the ulama? Yes, MENJ, very brilliant. Very Spanish Inquisition-like.

So God gave mankind the gift of intellect for – what? As a Do-Not-Pass-GO-Do-Not-Collect-$200 express one-way ticket to Hell? Do Ulamas have a MONOPOLY on religious thought (pun intended)?

Which brings us to another idiosyncracy of the Mufti - the loathe he holds against intellectuals (except maybe those that agree with his ultra-conservative views). Whom does the Mufti blame for bringing the scourge of liberalism and pluralism to our shores - the intellectuals. He particularly finds loathesome those wretched Western-educated ones. Oh, and also how universities in the West have set up Islamic Studies departments for no other reason than to poison the minds of Muslims.

Of course, no Mutant Mullah speech would be complete without a fair dose of West-bashing. The interview has that and more. It's funny how ulamas are quick to blame the West for everything that goes wrong. And when that fails, blame the Jews. Yup - there's a bit of Jew-bashing, too, since the Mufti believes that the roots of pluralism and liberalism came from the Jews, who "from the beginning have wanted nothing more than destroying Islam".

So, is the interview brilliant? Well, for one thing it brilliantly illustrates how shallow the Mufti is when it comes to real world issues and ideas.

Walski has no intention to question the Mufti's religious credentials; for sure, he has loads. But when theocracy is upheld almost as a science in itself, the end-all, be-all of everything in this life, put on a padestal so high that no other mortal can challenge the Ulamas' opinions, without being accused of apostacy or of blaspheming - then it becomes a problem.

Ultra-conservative Muslims will take the interview, lock, stock and barrell, and herald it as brilliance. The more conservative, exclusivist, and chavinist, an opinion is, the better. To Walski, however, gold-plated crap is still, in the end, crap.

The biggest irony of this interview is that at some point, the Mufti laments:

At the same time, our mindset is backward, since the time of colonization, and until now, I can safely say only 10 percent of Malay Muslims have achieved the level of true professionalism. We continue to believe the illusion, as illustrated by "triumphing on cheers, but your home is pawned away" - we forget.

But really, is it that big a mystery why?

Click here for the full post......

Monday, June 19, 2006

Still Waters Run Deep...

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Image taken from Screensavers.com

All may seem quiet on the Western, Eastern, Sarcasm, whatever, front... But this respite does not mean things are not afoot.

Enjoy the tranquility, while it lasts. For something is brewing, deep in the confines of myAsylum. Not moonshine, but something more potent.

Allegations will be answered. Half-truths will be exposed. Intellectul bankruptcy challenged. The scourge of MENJtitis shall continue to be combatted - the boast of PayPal notwithstanding.

Be not afraid - be very very afraid;

"The mind is a terrible thing to taste..." (Ministry, 1989)

Click here for the full post......

Berita Harian Interview with Perak State Mufti Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria

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The following is a Q&A with the Perak State Mufti, Datuk Seri Harussani Zakaria, published by Berita Harian, on Sunday, June 18, 2006. The original text is in this color, while myAsylum's translation into English is in this color. The original article can be found here (in Bahasa Malaysia).

Note: Some terms have been left in Arabic as originally used by the Mufti in the interview. A glossary of terms can be found at the end of the post. (Interview in the full post)

APAKAH maksud sebenar fahaman liberalisme dan pluralisme agama yang kini dikatakan mula mempengaruhi umat Islam.
WHAT is the real meaning of liberalism and religious pluralism that is said to be influencing Muslims.
Liberalisme iaitu kebebasan individu tanpa had ialah fahaman yang timbul pada kurun ke-16 dan 17 ketika zaman kebangkitan atau Renaissance iaitu golongan intelektual menyerang pentadbiran gereja.
Liberalism, that is, individual freedom without limits, is an ideoloy that surfaced in the 16th and 17th centuries, during the Renaissance, [explained as] the intellectuals rising against the church administrators.

Ketika itu agama Kristian dikawal Roman Katolik, jadi orang awam tidak boleh tafsir Kitab Injil, kecuali pihak gereja. Mereka yang menentang pihak gereja akan diseksa seperti dijemur di tengah jalan, dibakar hidup-hidup dan dikurung dalam kotak besi.
At that time Christianity was exclusive to the Roman Catholics, and therefore the lay person could not translate/understand the Bible, except through the Church. Those that went against the church were tortured, “exposure (under the sun) in the middle of the road” [literal translation], burned alive, and imprisoned in metal boxes.

Maka, timbul kumpulan dan pendapat mengatakan Kitab Injil itu harus ditafsir semula dan daripada idea itu timbul pelbagai mazhab dalam agama itu seperti Protestan, Anglikan dan berpuluh-puluh lain lagi.
So there arose a group and opinions that voiced the need for the Bible to be revised/re-translated, and from there emerged several Christian sects, such as the Protestants, Anglicans, and many many others.

Pendapat mazhab ini jauh berbeza antara satu sama lain sehingga muncul kenyataan ‘kebenaran itu tidak selamanya benar dan harus dinilai semula’. Dari situ, timbul fahaman iaitu Kitab Injil itu sendiri diturunkan dalam bahasa tuhan perlu diterjemahkan ke bahasa yang boleh difahami orang lain.
The opinions of these sects were very different from one another, to the point that a statement was issued, saying “truth is not everlasting, and therefore needs to be reassessed”. From there arose an opinion saying that the Bible [which] was revealed in the language of God and so must be translated into a language that others can understand.

Tindakan itu dengan sendirinya menjadikan kitab itu sebagai unsur manusiawi iaitu masing-masing memahami kitab itu dengan bahasa sendiri. Bila ini berlaku, mereka ada hak mengubah atau mengolahnya bila dirasakan (kandungannya) tidak lagi relevan (dengan keadaan semasa).
This action therefore made the Bible a human effort, that is, every group understanding the Bible in their own language. Once this occurred, they then had a right to change or revise it when it was felt that the contents were no longer relevant (with current circumstances).

Dari situ, timbul pula pendapat dipelopori John Hick bahawa semua agama itu boleh diterima kerana tujuannya satu cuma jalannya berlainan, maka lahirlah pluralisme.
From there arose an opinion promoted by John Hick, stating that all religions are acceptable because although the paths were different, the destination was the same – and thus pluralism was born.

Ia kemudian dijadikan senjata oleh orientalis atau penjajah Barat untuk menyerang Islam kerana serangan lebih 200 tahun dengan senjata nyata tidak dapat menundukkan orang Islam. Walaupun, pada kurun ke 15 dan 16, banyak negara Islam dapat dijajah, mereka tidak dapat menguasai hati orang Islam.
This was then used as a weapon by the orientalist, or Western colonialists, to attack Islam, since weaponary attacks for 200 years obviously could not defeat the Muslims. Although in the 15th and 16th centuries many Islamic countries were colonized, they could not colonize the hearts of the Muslims.

Jadi timbul fikiran bahawa serangan fizikal tidak memberi kesan kepada orang Islam, tetapi menyerang Islam menerusi fikiran maka lahirlah pejuang Kristian yang menghabiskan banyak masa pergi ke negara Islam khususnya di Timur Tengah untuk mengkaji sumber Islam dan mencari kelemahan yang boleh diserang.
So, a school of thought stating that while physical attacks weren’t effective, attacking the Muslim mind could be, giving rise to Christian missionaries that spent a lot of time in Islamic countries, particularly in the Middle East, to study Islamic materials to find weaknesses that could be attacked.

Mereka kemudian menubuhkan pengajian Islam di universiti di Eropah dan orang Islam melanjutkan pelajaran peringkat sarjana dan kedoktoran mendapat pendidikan daripada tenaga pengajar orientalis sehingga menimbulkan ‘racun’ dalam pemikiran pelajar Islam itu.
They then set up Islamic Studies in European Universities, and Muslims who furthered their education and graduated at Masters and Doctorate levels received their education from orientalist teachers until their minds were poisoned.

Sejak bila pemikiran liberalisme dan pluralisme agama ini mula bertapak di negara ini.
Since when has liberalism and religious pluralism start to take root in this country
Pemikiran ini mula meresap ke golongan intelektual dan profesional Islam sejak beberapa tahun lalu dan mula menunjukkan kelantangannya sejak akhir-akhir ini, apabila menyeru supaya apa yang berlaku kepada Kitab Injil dilakukan terhadap al-Quran dengan kenyataan meminta al-Quran diolah semula.
These schools of thought started be creep into the Muslim intellectual and professional community several years ago, and started to get vocal recently, when calls to revise the Quran were made, similar to what has been done to the Bible.

Firman Allah jelas menyatakan al-Quran itu diterima terus oleh Rasulullah daripada Allah yang bermaksud ia ayat Tuhan yang tidak boleh diolah.
God’s revelation clearly states that the Quran was revealed directly to His Messenger, meaning that it is God’s word which cannot be revised.

Mereka lupa bahawa sejak al-Quran diturunkan, jutaan umat Islam menghafaznya dalam bahasanya yang asal dan tiada sesiapa boleh menambah atau mengurangkan walau satu huruf dalam kitab suci itu. Mereka menuduh pula al-Quran sebagai mushaf Quraisy, tetapi berdasarkan sejarah kita sendiri tahu bahawa orang yang menjadi jurutulis al-Quran terdiri daripada pelbagai keturunan termasuk dari Afrika.
They forget that since the Quran was revealed, millions of Muslims have memorized it in its original language and no one can add or remove even one alphabet in this holy book. They accuse the Quran as the mushaf of the Quraish, but from history we know that the Quranic scribes were of various nationalities, including from Africa.

Bolehkah kita kenal pasti penganut fahaman ini di Malaysia.
Can we identify the followers of this view in Malaysia.
Di Malaysia, golongan ini tidak membuat pengisytiharan terbuka mengenai kedudukan mereka berbanding di tempat lain seperti di Indonesia. Di negara ini, mereka hanya meledakkan idea fahaman itu menyatakan al-Quran mesti diolah semula, ayat berkaitan sistem faraid serta amalan poligami tidak relevan lagi serta kedudukan lelaki sebagai ‘superior’ dalam rumah tangga juga sudah tidak relevan.
In Malaysia, these people have not openly declared their position, compared to other places, like in Indonesia. In this country, they merely promote the group’s philosophy stating that the Quran must be revised, the verses pertaining to the system of Faraidh, plus the practice of polygamy, are no longer relevant, and that the position of the male as superior in the household, too, are no longer relevant.

Ia mungkin tidak lagi relevan dalam masyarakat Barat kerana Kitab injil itu mereka karang sendiri. Sebenarnya, Tuhan maha bijaksana dengan menciptakan hukum untuk hambanya.
Maybe irrelevant in Western society because the Bible was re-written by them. In truth, God is all knowing, creating laws for His servants.

Walaupun sekarang zaman atom, zaman nuklear, kemudahan untuk manusia dan alam itu tetap wujud maka tuhan mengaturkan sesuatu untuk dijadikan pegangan manusia itu dan ia sesuatu yang sempurna.
Although now is the atomic age, nuclear age, the facility for humans and nature still exist, so God created something as guidance for humans, and it is something perfect.

Malah, tabiat manusia pun pemimpin dalam rumah tangga itu ialah lelaki. Bangsa apa pun sejak zaman lampau, malah mereka yang tinggal dalam hutan atau gua pun, masih mengekalkan perkara ini. Itu sudah tabiat manusia.
Furthermore, nature dictates that the head of the household is male. No matter what race, since time immemorial, in fact even those that live in the jungle or in caves retain this characteristic. It is human nature.

Islam liberal menghalalkan perkahwinan sejenis, manusia normal dan waras mana yang boleh menerimanya kerana perkahwinan itu tetap bertujuan menyambung kesinambungan zuriat manusia. Itu tujuan asas perkahwinan.
Liberal Islam allows same-sex marriage; which normal and sane human can accept it, since the purpose of marriage is for the continuation of human progeny. This is the main purpose of marriage.

Jika perkahwinan sejenis dibenarkan, tiada lagi keturunan manusia (pada masa depan). Tetapi, oleh kerana mereka mahu menerima budaya moden, mereka sanggup mengorbankan akal, fikiran dan nafsu asasi, malah menjual agama untuk kepentingan dunia yang sedikit.
If same-sex marriage is allowed, there will no longer be humans (in the future). But, because they want to accept modern culture, they are willing to sacrifice intelligence, rationality, and basic instinct, plus selling away religion for the sake of limited worldly importance.

Adakah bilangan pengikut fahaman ini ramai di Malaysia.
Is the number of followers of this view in Malaysia large.
Bilangan sebenar sukar dinyatakan kerana mereka tidak berpersatuan. Tetapi kita beranggapan walaupun mereka tidak menganggotai persatuan itu, mereka banyak mendapat sokongan kerana golongan menerima fahaman ini boleh dikategorikan sebagai intelektual.
The actual number is dificult to estimate, since they are not organized. But we think that although they are not members of this organization, they get a lot of support because those that accept this philosophy can be categorized as intellectuals.

Golongan profesional tertentu pandai bercakap dan menulis sedangkan ulama dan golongan yang memperjuangkan Islam di negara ini tidak begitu profesional serta tidak cenderung dalam menulis menyebabkan tulisan mereka jarang kita lihat untuk menangkis fahaman ini.
Certain professionals are adept at talking and writing, whereas the ulamas and those that fight for Islam in this country are not so professional, and are not keen writers; whatever writings refuting this philosophy are rarely seen.

Khususnya serangan ini dibuat dalam bahasa Inggeris, sekali gus mempengaruhi golongan berpengetahuan dalam bahasa Inggeris sedangkan ulama kita kurang sangat tahu bahasa Inggeris serta kurang membuat kajian pergerakan liberal dari segi akar umbinya.
Specifically, the attacks are made in English, and therefore influence those who know English, whereas our ulamas do not know English very well, plus haven't thoroughly researched the roots of the liberal movement.

Oleh itu, rahsia penganut fahaman ini sukar diketahui dan hujahnya tidak ditangkis. Ini kekurangan kepada pejuang Islam dan mereka mengambil kesempatan daripada kekurangan ini.
Therefore this philosophy's secrets are difficult to ascertain, and their arguments not countered. This is a weakness of those that fight for Islam, and they (the liberals) take advantage of this deficiency.

Malah, mereka bergabung dengan (sesetengah pihak) agama lain yang sememangnya juga tidak ingin melihat kekuatan Islam tegak di Malaysia. Masalah lain pula ialah gerakan ini dipelopori golongan berpendidikan tinggi secara Barat dan mempunyai kedudukan tinggi dalam masyarakat. Ini agak sulit sedikit berbeza dengan golongan Ayah Pin.
Furthermore, they [the liberals] collaborate with (some parties from) other religions, that naturally do not want Islam to grow strong in Malaysia. Other problems include the fact that this movement comprises of the highly Western-educated, and are highly placed in society. This makes it difficult, compared to followers of Ayah Pin.

Adakah mereka dibantu atau mendapat sokongan luar.
Are they helped by or receive support from external sources.
Saya difahamkan mereka mendapat sokongan luar. Di Indonesia, mereka mendapat imuniti undang-undang iaitu ada pihak tertentu dari luar yang menghalang tindakan undang-undang dikenakan sedangkan ada peruntukan di Indonesia yang boleh mengenakan tindakan terhadap Presiden negara itu jika melakukan kesalahan.
I have been made to understand that they do. In Indonesia, they enjoy imunity from the law, that is, there are certain external parties that prevent carriage of justice, even though there are provisions in Indonesia that allow even action against the President of the country if a crime has been committed.

Setakat ini, adakah fahaman ini sudah mula tersebar di kalangan pelajar terutama di institut pengajian tinggi (IPT).
Up to now, has this philosophy started to spread to students, particularly in institutes of higher learning.
Ya, sekarang mereka cuba meluaskan pengaruh pada peringkat universiti dan golongan intelektual. Itu yang sudah berlaku di Indonesia dengan sasaran mereka ialah pensyarah pengajian Islam.
Yes, they are trying to expand their influence to the university level and to intellectuals. In Indonesia this has already happened, with their targets being Islamic Studies lecturers.

Sebab itu kita melihat (di Indonesia) golongan memperjuangkan liberalisme dan pluralisme agama adalah intelektual Islam berkelulusan agama dengan menyatakan ini satu pendapat, falsafah dan pemikiran baru berbentuk ilmiah diceduk daripada pendapat sarjana terdahulu.
That is why (in Indonesia) we see that those championing liberalism and religious pluralism are Islamic intellectuals, with religious academic qualifications, saying that this is an opinion, philosophy, and academic thought, synthesized from older thinkers.

Sedangkan firman Allah ialah orang beriman dan beramal soleh perlu beriman dengan Allah dan Rasul. Beriman dengan Allah ialah mempercayai kandungan al-Quran yang didatangkan menerusi Rasul.
Whereas God’s proclamation is that a believer and doer of good deeds must have faith in God and His messenger. Faith in God is believing the contents of the Quran, that was revealed through his Messenger.

Tetapi, mereka memperkecilkan (peranan) Rasul. Firman Allah: “Allah mengurniakan kepada orang mukmin seorang rasul daripada kalangan mereka sendiri (manusia) yang membacakan ayat-ayat tuhan dengan terang dan dia mengajarkan kandungan al-Quran dan ilmu lainnya sedangkan sebelum itu mereka orang yang tidak mengetahuinya.”
But they minimize the Messenger’s role. God says: “GOD has blessed the believers by raising in their midst a messenger from among them, to recite for them His revelations, and to purify them, and to teach them the scripture and wisdom. Before this, they had gone totally astray.”

Ayat ini menjelaskan Rasul saja yang berhak mentafsirkan al-Quran kerana Baginda diajar dengan fikiran cukup kuat oleh Jibril mengenai maksud dalam kitab suci itu. Maka orang menafsirkan al-Quran hanya dengan fikirannya semata-mata, adalah tergolong sebagai ahli neraka.
This verse explains that only the Mesenger has the right to translate the Quran because he was instructed with a strong mind by Gabriel as to the meaning in this holy book. Therefore, those that translate the Quran using only their intellect, are included in the group destined for hell.

Mungkin kewujudan golongan ini berpunca daripada kelemahan sistem pentadbiran Islam di negara ini, khususnya Mahkamah Syariah yang dikatakan banyak mendiskriminasi wanita.
Could it be that the existence of this group stems from the weakness in the system of Islamic administration in this country, specifically the Syariah Court, that has been said to practice a lot of discrimination against women.
Sistem pentadbiran agama Islam di negara ini tidak pernah menekan wanita. Mahkamah Syariah sebenarnya membela orang Islam khususnya wanita Islam dengan membicarakan soal nafkah, hak harta sepencarian dan sebagainya dan wujud untuk melahirkan keluarga yang sempurna dan bahagia.
The system of Islamic administration is this country has never oppressed women. The Syariah Court actually defends the Muslims, particularly Muslim women, by dealing with issues such as sustenance, rights over shared income, etc., and exists to produce perfect and happy families.

Mungkin wujud kecuaian dalam pelaksanaannya yang kelihatan seperti satu kelemahan. Tetapi, kelemahan ini tidak boleh dijadikan alasan mengatakan agama Islam sebagai tidak sempurna.
Perhaps there exist oversights in implementation, that are seen as weaknesses. But these weaknesses cannot be used as an excuse to say that Islam is not perfect.

Pada masa sama, undang-undang sivil juga khususnya di Barat lebih banyak kelemahannya tetapi kerana mereka dianggap superior ia tidak diperkatakan. Sebahagian daripadanya adalah sikap inferiority complex (di kalangan orang Islam sendiri).
At the same time, civil laws, particularly in the West have even more weaknesses. But because these are seen as superior, it (the weaknesses) is never mentioned. This is partly due to an inferiority complex (among Muslims themselves).

Adakah fahaman ini sebenarnya hanya satu bentuk perbezaan pendapat dalam Islam saja.
Is this view, in fact, merely a form of difference of opinion within Islam?
Fahaman ini bukan setakat perbezaan pendapat, tetapi amat bertentangan dengan Islam dan boleh menjurus kepada syirik dan mungkin kepada murtad.
This view is not just difference of opinion, but is very much against Islam and can lead one to idolatory, and possibly to apostacy.

Dalam fahaman pluralisme jika kita mengatakan semua agama adalah sama, jadi tidak perlu menganut Islam, apa guna Tuhan memberi amaran yang banyak dalam al-Quran mengenai perbuatan orang kufur dan menolak peringatan Tuhan.
In pluralism, if we say that all religions are the same, and therefore don’t need to embrace Islam, what use would there have been for God to issue so many warnings in the Quran about those that oppose Him and reject observing Him.

Tidakkah ini akan menunjukkan seolah-olah orang Islam dan agamanya tidak memiliki sifat toleransi kerana tidak mahu menerima fahaman orang lain.
Doesn’t this give the impression that Muslims and their religion do not possess characteristics of tolerance because it doesn't not accept the opinion of others
Kita bukan tidak mahu terima fahaman orang lain, tetapi setiap benda yang menggugat akidah dan menafikan syariat, kita tidak boleh terima. Dalam Islam, ada perkara sudah qat'ie (ditetapkan) seperti sifat Tuhan yang kita tidak boleh persoalkan. Begitu juga dalam hukum syarak dan ibadat puasa, solat dan mengucap dua kali syahadah.
It is not that we don’t accept the opinions/beliefs of others, but every single thing that jeopardizes faith, and denies God’s law, we cannot accept. In Islam, there are things that are certain/fixed, like the characteristics of God, that we cannot question. The same goes for God’s laws, and fasting, prayer and the declaration of faith.

Walaupun ada pelbagai mazhab dalam Islam, perkara pokok seperti solat lima waktu, mengucap dua kalimah syahadah dan menghadap kiblat ketika bersolat, tidak pernah dipersoalkan.
Although there are numerous sects in Islam, the foundations of faith, such as the five daily prayers, declaration of faith, and the direction of prayer, have never been questioned. .

Jadi, jika mengubah yang qat'ie ia boleh menjadi murtad sehingga sekarang yang tidak pandai cakap Arab pun membuat kenyataan seolah-olah dia lebih pandai daripada Rasul.
If those certain/unchangeable elements are altered it could lead to apostacy; at present, even those that cannot speak Arabic make statements as if they are more clever than the Messenger.

Tetapi, mungkin fahaman mereka yang agak liberal tetapi pada masa sama masih mengaku dan melakukan perkara asas dalam Islam seperti solat, puasa.
But perhaps their understanding is liberal, but at the same time profess the foundations in Islam, such as prayer and fasting.

Kita perlu melihat liberal dalam bentuk yang bagaimana. Jika sudah menyentuh soal akidah, itu tidak boleh dipanggil liberal (dalam Islam) tetapi sudah menyimpang.
We have to look at what form this liberalism manifests. If it touches on the question of belief, then it cannot be considered liberal (in Islam), but has diverged.

Ia berbeza liberal dari segi hukum yang khilaf seperti isu batal air sembahyang. Bagi Mazhab Hanafi, lelaki sentuh wanita tak batal, Mazhab Shafie kata batal, Mazhab Maliki kata jika sentuh dengan syahwat batal.
It’s different from debatable laws, such as the nulling of ablution. For the Hanafi sect, man touching woman does not nullify ablution. The Shafie sect says it does, while the Maliki sect states that it is nullified, if the touch is lustful.

Dalam keadaan seperti ini boleh liberal seperti ketika mengerjakan tawaf di Baitullah, saya katakan boleh ambil logik mazhab Hanafi. Cuma perlu tahu juga apa nasnya (bagi membenarkannya), itu saja masalahnya. Tetapi, tidak kita boleh khilaf seperti solat Jumaat ditukar kepada Ahad kerana ia hari cuti umum atau wanita menjadi imam untuk lelaki dan wanita. Perkara ini dilarang kerana ia sudah jadi itjimak ulama.
In such circumstances, its alright to be liberal; for instance while performing the tawaf in Baitullah (in Mecca), I could adopt the logic of the Hanafi sect, whereby the only problem is knowing why we can or cannot [this bit may not have been translated accurately]. But we cannot change things such as moving the Friday congregational prayers to Sunday because it is a public holiday, or women leading men and women in prayer. These changes are not allowed because they have become the ulama’s conjunction [accepted ruling].

Kita tidak boleh mengubah semata-mata untuk mewujudkan hak persamaan. Islam tidak pernah mendiskriminasi wanita. Islam sudah mengatur hak wanita dan hak lelaki.
We cannot change for the sake of equality. Islam has never discriminated against women. Islam has ordained womens rights and mens rights.

Islam tidak melarang wanita bekerja tetapi biarlah pekerjaan sesuai dengan wanita.
Islam does not prohibit women from working, but the work must be suitable for women.

Adakah fahaman ini sebenarnya hanya lanjutan daripada pelbagai fahaman yang wujud dari zaman silam seperti muktazilah, jabariah dan khawarij.
Is this view simply an extension from views that have existed from a long time ago, such as muktazilah, jabariah and khawarij
Fahaman seperti khawarij dan syiah lebih berbentuk politik kerana tidak mahu menerima arahan pemerintah ketika itu. Tetapi, kita tidak menafikan ada mazhab dalam Syiah yang terkeluar dalam akidah dan tidak boleh diterima.
The philosophies like khawarij and syiah are more political, since there was an unwillingness to obey the rulers at that time. But we cannot deny that there are some sects within the Syiahs whose beliefs fall outside the Islamic faith and therefore cannot be accepted.

Dalam Sunnah Wal Jamaah, walaupun khilaf dari segi fahaman syariat, ia masih tidak terkeluar daripada Islam, hanya berbeza daripada masalah furuk (cabang kecil) dan tidak khilaf dari segi masalah usul (utama).
In Sunnah Wal Jamaah, although debatable from an established code point of view, does not stray from Islam; it is merely a debate on minor differences, and not on the key elements.

Justeru, Datuk Seri menganggap fahaman liberalisme dan pluralisme ini bukan cabang daripada perbezaan pendapat dalam Islam.
Therefore, Datuk Seri's view is that liberalism and pluralism are not extensions of differing views in Islam
Fahaman ini sebenarnya daripada Yahudi kerana daripada dulu lagi mereka memang berniat untuk menyesatkan orang Islam.
These views are actually from the Jews, because since the beginning their intention has been to lead the Muslims astray

Bagaimana perkembangan fahaman ini di Malaysia, adakah ia kelihatan semakin berbahaya kepada akidah Islam.
How about the propogation of this view in Malaysia, is it seen to be more and more dangerous to the Islamic faith

Di Malaysia, bibit-bibitnya sudah kelihatan seperti menafikan azab kubur, hukum aurat dan sebagainya. Ini bibit liberalisme dan ia cukup berbahaya apatah lagi dalam masyarakat ketika ini apabila pelajaran agama tidak lagi dianggap penting, sebaliknya hanya untuk lulus peperiksaan akibat pemisahan pelajaran agama dengan akademik.
In Malaysia, its seeds are starting to emerge, such as denying [the existence of] retribution in purgatory, laws concerning "aurat", and so forth. These are seeds of liberalism and are dangerous, what more in present society, where the study of religion is no longer considered important, merely to pass examinations, due to separation of religious studies and academics.

Fahaman agama semakin tipis akibat dijajah dan dinafikan hak pendidikan selama 480 tahun oleh penjajah. Ketika penjajahan, penjajah hanya mendirikan sekolah mubaligh kristian, jadi orang Islam tidak mahu pergi ke sekolah itu. Penjajah kemudian bagi alasan orang Melayu sendiri tidak mahu menerima pendidikan. Ini semua strategi untuk melemahkan orang Islam.
Religious understanding grows thin, due to colonization and the denial of the right to education for 480 years by the colonialists. During colonialization, the colonialists only established christian missionary schools, and therefore Muslims refused to attend them. The colonialists then used this as an excuse to say that the Malays themselves refused to be educated. These were all strategies to weaken the Muslims.

Pada masa sama, fikiran kita masih beku, sejak penjajahan sehingga sekarang saya boleh katakan hanya 10 peratus orang Melayu Islam yang capai tahap profesionalisme sebenar. Kita masih terus dengan khayalan ibarat pepatah ‘menang sorak kampung tergadai’ kita lupa.
At the same time, our mindset is backward, since the time of colonization, and until now, I can safely say only 10 percent of Malay Muslims have achieved the level of true professionalism. We continue to believe the illusion, as illustrated by "triumphing on cheers, but your home is pawned away" - we forget.

Oleh itu, apa tindakan boleh dilakukan untuk mengekang fahaman ini daripada merebak.
So, what action can be taken to prevent the spread of this view
Kita perlu beri kesedaran. Kita tidak boleh membanterasnya tanpa beri kesedaran, khususnya di kalangan ulama dan guru agama. Jika mereka (ulama dan guru agama) sendiri tidak faham, bagaimana mahu berhadapan dengan golongan ini dan mungkin mereka sendiri pula akan terpengaruh.
We need consciousness. We cannot overcome it without providing consciousness, particularly with the community of ulama and religious teachers. If they (ulama and religious teachers) themselves don't understand, how can they face these people (the liberals) and maybe they themselves will be influenced.

Bila kami mengadakan seminar hal ini baru-baru ini, ia semata-mata untuk mendedahkan perkara ini kerana tidak mahu ia menjadi parah seperti di Indonesia sehingga universiti Islam sudah kekurangan pelajar, hanya tinggal tujuh atau lapan orang mengikuti pengajian syariah.
When we conducted a seminar on this recently, it was merely to highlight its existence so that it doesn't become serious as in Indonesia, to the point that Islamic universities have shortage of students, only seven or eight people taking courses in Islamic law studies.

Di Malaysia yang mempunyai penduduk berbilang kaum dan agama, jika orang Melayu Islam bergaduh dalam pelbagai isu (akibat perbuatan golongan liberalisme dan pluralisme), bagaimana Islam mahu dipertahankan.
In Malaysia, which is multi-cultural and multi-religious, if the Malay Muslims argue amongst themselves on various issues (due to the actions of liberals and pluralists), how is Islam to be defended.

Tidakkah Datuk Seri berhasrat mengadakan dialog dengan golongan ini untuk menyedarkan mereka.
Doesn't Datuk Seri wish to hold dialogs with these people to make them realize.
Saya memang mencadangkan dialog dengan mereka dengan pembabitan Jabatan Kemajuan Islam (Jakim), Jabatan Agama negeri dan Jabatan Mufti setiap negeri.
Indeed, I have suggested dialog with them, with the involvement of JAKIM, state religions departments, and each state Mufti office.

Adakah Datuk Seri yakin menerusi dialog ini mereka boleh berubah atau masih tetap mempertahankan fahaman dianuti.
Is Datuk Seri confident that through dialog they can be changed, or will still hold on to their views
Kita tidak boleh memaksa mereka menerima (apa yang kita minta) kerana ini fikiran manusia. Terpulang kepada mereka memilih jalan keluar, sesat daripada Islam atau jalan kebenaran. Kalau mereka memilih jalan sesat, ada firman Allah “Apabila mereka memalingkan diri daripada kebenaran, maka Allah akan memalingkan hati mereka, dan Allah tidak akan memberi petunjuk kepada golongan yang fasik.”
We cannot force them to accept our views because this is human thought. It is up to them to choose a way out, stray away from Islam, or return to the path of righteousness. There is a decree from God saying, "When they deviated from truth, God will diviate their hearts, for God does not guide the wicked people" [see note below]

Ini bermakna kalau mereka pilih jalan fasik, tuhan tidak mengatakan jalan itu benar, walaupun seluruh manusia mengatakannya begitu.
This means if they follow the path of wickedness, God does not say that the path is correct, although all of mankind may say so.

Bagaimana jika mereka meneruskan usaha menyebarkan fahaman kepada orang ramai.
What if they continue the effort in spreading their view to the public
Liberalisme dan pluralisme ini boleh ditafsirkan sebagai ajaran sesat. Jika dikategorikan sebagai ajaran sesat mengikut Enakmen Jenayah Syariah, mereka boleh dikenakan tindakan jika menghasut orang ramai sama ada secara penulisan atau menggunakan pendekatan pengajaran dan perkumpulan.
Liberalism and pluralism can be construed as teachings of apostacy. If categorized as apostacy according to the Syariah Crime Enactment, they may be charged if they incite the public, either through writing or through teaching and forming groups.

Ketika ini, sudah ada fatwa dikeluarkan menyatakan mereka sebagai ajaran sesat.
At this point has a religious edict been issued stating them as teachings of apostacy
Setakat ini, hanya pendapat dan belum ada fatwa secara rasmi mengatakan mereka sebagai ajaran sesat.
At this point, it is only an opinion, and there is no official religious edict stating them as teachings of apostacy

Ia dinyatakan pada Muzakarah Ulama 2006 di Ipoh Selasa lalu, dalam satu daripada resolusinya ialah fahaman liberalisme dan pluralisme ini adalah ajaran sesat.
This was metioned at the Ulama Conference 2006 in Ipoh last Tuesday, in one of the resolutions, stating that liberalism and pluralism are teachings of apostacy.

Seminar itu dihadiri Pengarah Jabatan Agama Islam Negeri atau wakilnya, intelektual Islam; Mufti Kelantan, Sabah, Johor, Kedah serta wakil Mufti bagi negeri lain serta pertubuhan bukan kerajaan (NGO) Islam.
This seminar was attended by State Islamc Department directors or their representatives, Islamic intellectuals, Muftis from Kelantan, Sabah, Johor, Kedah, plus representatives of Muftis from other states, and Islamic NGOs.

Selain penulisan, difahamkan golongan ini juga menggunakan kaedah internet untuk menyampaikan fahaman mereka.
Besides through writings, it is understood that they also use the Internet to promote their views
Kita sendiri tiada laman web khusus menentang mereka. Saya cadangkan setiap Jabatan Agama dan Mufti mengadakan laman web. Malangnya di Jabatan Mufti ini, kita tidak mempunyai kakitangan mencukupi dan golongan profesional yang mahir dalam penyelidikan.
We ourselves do not have specific websites to counter them. I suggest that each state religious department and Mufti set up web pages. Unfortunately, in this Mufti Department, we do not have sufficient staff and professionals that are adept at research.

Jabatan Mufti ini mengikut skim penjawatan dalam kerajaan yang mempunyai kategorinya sendiri.
This Mufti Department follows the governmental posting scheme that has its own categorization.

Justeru, saya harap NGO Islam yang mempunyai golongan profesional dan pakar dapat membantu.
Hence, I hope that Islamic NGOs that have professionals and experts can help.

Adakah NGO Islam menyedari hal ini.
Are the Islamic NGOs aware of this.
Alhamdulillah, NGO Islam menyedari hal ini. Di Perak baru-baru ini, 45 NGO Islam mengadakan perhimpunan menyatakan sokongan menentang fahaman ini.
Thank God, the Islamic NGOs are aware. Recently in Perak, 45 Islamic NGOs had a meeting stating their support in countering this view.

Pada Muzakarah Ulama 2006 lalu, terdapat 23 resolusi menyentuh isu liberalisme dan pluralisme ini, apa tindakan selanjutnya.
During the recent Ulama Muzakarah (Conference) 2006, there were 23 resolutions pertaining to liberalism and pluralism, what would be the action following this.
Semua resolusi ini akan diperhalusi dan diperbaiki dari segi bahasanya dan apabila siap akan diserahkan kepada Sultan Perak, kerajaan negeri, semua Jabatan Agama Islam negeri dan kerajaan pusat.
All the resolutions will be fine tuned and corrected from a language standpoint, and when ready, will be presented to the Sultan of Perak, the state government, all the State Religious Departments, and the Federal Government.

Tindakan ini dilakukan untuk memberi ingatan kepada pimpinan kerajaan mengenai kedudukan Islam sebagai agama rasmi dalam Perlembagaan Persekutuan.
This is to remind government leadership of the status of Islam as the official religion in the Federal Constitution.

Justeru, kerajaan perlu memantau agar klausa ini tidak diusik atau dikacau terutama orang bukan Islam. Mereka (bukan Islam) boleh mengamalkan agama mereka, memajukan diri dengan agama mereka tetapi tidak berhak campur tangan dalam isu agama Islam.

Hence, the government needs to monitor this clause to ensure that it is not altered or touched, particularly by non-Muslims. They (the non-Muslims) can follow their own religions, progress themselves with their own religions, but they do not have the right to interfere in issues pertaining to Islam.

Glossary of Terms
mushaf - collection of Quranic verses written on parchment; generally referring to the compilation of the Quran into the text we know today, including the order-determination of surah (chapter) and verse, done during the time of Caliph Uthman ibn Affan (the third guided Caliph).

tawaf - the ritual of circumambulating the Ka'abah during Hajj and Umrah

muktazilah, jabariah and khawarij - three differing mazhab or sects (some prefer to call it schools of thought). Information of sectarian development in Islam can be found here.

Quranic References
There are two verses from the Quran partially quoted in this interview. Although not explicitly referenced by chapter and verse, the following are most likely the verses the Mufti refers to. The translation used here is the Yusuf Ali version.

First reference - from Surah 2 (Al-Baqarah), verse 151:
"A similar (favour have ye already received) in that We have sent among you a Messenger of your own, rehearsing to you Our Signs, and sanctifying you, and instructing you in Scripture and Wisdom, and in new knowledge."

Second reference - from Surah 61 (Al-Suff), verse 5:
"And remember, Moses said to his people: "O my people! why do ye vex and insult me, though ye know that I am the messenger of Allah (sent) to you?" Then when they went wrong, Allah let their hearts go wrong. For Allah guides not those who are rebellious transgressors."
("Rebellious Transgressors" is also translated as "the wicked" in some translations)

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