Traffic Pet Peeves: Don't say you haven't been warned

Around October last year, I changed jobs. This change required me to also change the route I take to work, being that the new company I work for is across KL, the opposite way from the old place. The new route takes me through the massive crawl into the city, unfortunately.

Thus, the deep-seated daily angst of fighting traffic has resurfaced, after many years of hibernating in the deep recesses of my psyche. The ugly side of Malaysia manifests itself on my daily travels – the notorious Malaysian Driver stereotype.

Just like when Clark Kent throws aside his human disguises to reveal Superman, it appears that there is a certain physiological and psychological change when the typical Malaysian gets behind the wheel. The mild-mannered and courteous exterior disappears, revealing the kiasu and downright mean deep-seated nature of the typical Malaysian driver.

Disclaimer: I am not one to make blanket generalizations, and do realize that there are plenty of exceptions to the rules. The rest of this post is an example of the exception, rather than the rule.

There are two attitudes I frequently come across when driving, both of which really gets me riled up.

The first: the unwillingness to give way and to not wait ones turn, even when the situation warrants it. For example: I’m driving in the congested morning traffic, and up ahead, a car has broken down in my lane. I put out my signal to switch lanes, and the cars beside me rush ahead to make up whatever gap there was. Even worse, the car(s) behind me quickly cut in (most times without bothering to put their signal on), smug in their achievment of gaining one car’s length.

Second: the ludicrous idea that traffic flow can be improved by creating more lanes than there are drawn on the road. Included in this moronic behavior is driving on the emergency lane, and squeezing 2 cars into a single lane.

These are the two most frequent. There are more. Lots more.

A third observation: the more expensive the car is, the more likely the driver does not use the turn signal. It is as if the owner of the car had to pay for the car with their intelligence. Well, fuck you and the Mercedes you're riding in, you fuckin' retard, cerebally-challenged moron!

The question that comes to mind is: WHY?

It’s as if the right to drive on Malaysian roads has become directly proportional to the amount of road tax one pays. Yeah, I’m paying through the nose for this BMW, for fuck the rest of you peasants!

I guess I should use my horn more often from now on. Try to use the emergency lane, then wanna cut in? FUCK YOU! Blarrrrrrrrrgh! Use the left most (exit) lane, then cut in at the very last 5 feet? Blarrrrrrrrrgh! Not on my watch, muthafucka!

Come tomorrow morning, I’ll put this to the test. Beware KL. This driver will use his horn as he sees fit; particularly on those drivers with amoeba-sized brains, and the courtesy of a pig-faced orc, to match. Benz, Lexus, BMW, or what have you… no turn signal, no cutting in. Otherwise, BLARRRRRRRGH! And my car has a very loud horn, too, in case you were wondering.